happy 17th birthday grace!!!

i can't believe how the years have flown by and today is your 17th birthday grace......amazing! it's been a seriously rough year in every way imaginable for the entire family but you have had to some how struggle through the reality of having both your brothers diagnosed with autism and your sister in the process of a diagnosis for autism as well as dealing with her breakdown and depression. yup it's been tough alright but we have survived and you have managed to get through as well. i know things won't be any easier as each day passes by.....how can they be with all we deal with but i pray and hope that despite the journey already walked and the journey ahead you will always know that dad and i love you incredibly so and we will always be here for you. we will take the journey with you one step at a time and manage the bumps and dives together. have a fantastic and happy 17th birthday grace and may all your dreams and wishes come true. all our love and hugs xoxo

latest emd sneak peek!

how could i resist giving all you edeline marta design fans a sneak peek of what's coming soon early january 2010 by edeline herself. it's stunning, it's full of gorgeous digital scrapbooking goodies, the elements are delish, the papers amazing and i absolutely lurve....yep lurve the colour scheme.....can you tell i'm excited??? anyhoo you'll have to wait till it's release early january and till then i'm happy for ya all to "drool" a little because seriously this kit is stunning. ok that'll do for this post...short and sweet and mind you 2 in one day....so not too bad really but before i sign off for the evening..................

i hope you are all enjoying the christmas season....i know here in our household things are incredibly difficult for us financially for our family with all the extra medical expenses we have had to deal with it's been pretty tough but i plan to make christmas day itself very special indeed and do the best i can in making that happen with yummy food and spending time with tim and the kids although on our own this year we will celebrate quietly and peacefully. christmas after all is not solely about santa and presents, but spending time with loved ones and about the celebration of jesus christ's birth and the true sense of what that really means to the world. whether you're a believer or not i truly hope and pray your christmas is absolutely wonderful. hugs chris xoxo

latest emd lo's!

wow where has the year gone? it's already almost christmas and time is flying by every day at a speed so quick i can't keep up....lol! anyhoo just a quick update...life is still pretty busy for us but thankfully this week....the week of my dd grace's birthday and christmas i only have one appointment which has now been rescheduled for thursday instead of today. like everyone else i have been flat out with the christmas season and all that goes hand in hand with that. unfortunately my christmas card list is non existent this year and i apologise to family and friends as i won't be sending any. it's got to much and far too late to do anything so once again i'm sorry you won't be receiving a card from the turnbull household this year.

ok enough of that as it's time to upload my latest emd ct lo's for ya all to see. enjoy!!!!

Credits:

Walking In A Winter Wonderland - Collab - Edeline Marta Designs and Wendy Page
High Shine Chrome Alpha - Chantilly Lace
Font - arial

Credits:

Sweet Promise - Edeline Marta Designs
Overlay - Worn Overlays #2 - Something Blue Studios
Fonts: Thrashed and Bradley Hand ITC

Credits:

Winter Whisper - Collab - Edeline Marta Designs and Anne deJong
Font - Century Gothic

sneak peek!!!

.................check out what's coming soon from the ever talented edeline of edeline marta designs! yes i have been fortunate enough to scrap with this gorgeous mini kit but that's all i am going to say so i don't give to much away.....you'll have to wait till it's release! oh and you can find her designs here @ scrapartist and here in her own store...just in case you weren't sure where her goodies were sold!

i have to say that i am really enjoying edeline's designs, she is incredibly talented and i am incredibly fussy when it comes to what and who's designs i create with when it comes to my digital scrapbooking and i simply can't get enough of her goodies. i'm pretty sure i do more then is required every month as part of my CT requirements but that's simply because i just love the designs she brings out and can't seem to wait till the next kit is out and ready to scrap with......and the beauty of being part of her CT is i get to scrap with it prior to it's release.....gotta luv that!

we are officially on holidays here now....all the teenaliens are now finished with schooling for the year and with christmas almost upon us life sure is busy. but you know what????.............. i'm going to leave posting about all the recent "goings on" for another blog post update. for tonight it's just a quick one and till then....take care, enjoy the holiday and christmas season and remember the true meaning of christmas!
hugs from me xoxo

*boy* i'm slack

but no time like the present time to get about and update my blog for all you that pass on by, pause a bit and actually read my ramblings. sorry it's been awhile, not unintentionally but flat out busy with real life stuff and some scrapping here and there when i get the chance. so while i'm on that topic.....you know....the scrapping one....wanna see some LO's?!!! silly question really because of course you do. ok here we go. seeing as i can cause it's easy enough too with these LO's I'll be posting the kit/s below each LO I use from Edeline Marta Designs so you know what kit i've used and the link so you can grab it if ya want it.

Credits

Designs by Edeline Marta

Credits

Designs by Edeline Marta

Designs by Edeline Marta

Credits

Designs by Edeline Marta (collab with Aja Abney)

ok so there you go LO's and kits and links to all for credits and shopping....enjoy!!!

and guess what? i'm gonna leave it there for tonight except to say check Edeline's new blog here as well seeing as I am on her CT and I can ....it's young so please be nice it's completely up and running but still a baby in the making so until we get a few more posts underway, more kits and few other bits and pieces head on over and take a peek.

alrighties then....nothing else, nope not till next time and i promise i won't leave it so long. till then take care, ciao and hugs xoxo

end of the week ramble!

it's friday evening here and all is happy and quiet in the house. grace at a friends for a sleep over, tim and the boys watching tv, steph in her room and me???....well i am just plain restless and so i thought it must be time for a blog update...the only thing is i have no idea where to start although i have plenty to chat about.

yesterday (6th nov) i received a phone call from the autism assessment clinic in regards to maddison. it has taken us exactly 1 year to get this far because of the obstacle course we have had to try to get through but finally we do have an official diagnosis. maddi does not have asperger's syndrome but is indeed autistic. relief yes but i kinda fell into another rut having to face reality again and that has hit hard and i feel somewhat blue. the thing about all this is i have no idea what sort of help will be available to him because he is not case managed like lance and steph and he is too old now for any of the autism funding packages to help assist the family with much needed therapy as he has now turned 14. however i am still waiting for all the reports and letters etc which should be in the mail monday but still i am not sure what the next steps are apart from dealing with the school yet again as this time the evidence and the proof is here and he needs a modified program and hopefully we will be able to get some sort of extra support in place for him. plus i am hopeful that now his diagnosis has come through officially that DHS will pick him up which was suggested not too long ago.

while we're on the matter of diagnoses....steph's has been deferred for about a month as she too is going through the ASD assessment process but they need to do a speech assessment with her to gather the rest of her information and what's going on in that li'l brain of hers as her cognitive assessment is too scattered. so hopefully by the end of the year we will have some clarification as to whether or not she has an ASD!

now onto other matters and that of the scrappin' sort...............yes i have scrapped. i love being on a ct again as it has brought me out of the dull drums a little and allowing me to make some time for myself and i am enjoying every moment i get to be creative " according to chris's style"! now these lo's are mostly using goodies from edeline marta designs which you can find here and here

credits

credits

credits

now i have done another but it's not posted to galleries yet which is fine because it'll give me something to blog about in the next day or 2. oh and for all of you shopping up big for DSD (digital scrapbooking day), i hope you celebrate it well and enjoy every moment of it. i won't be joining you this year as my priorities have to be elsewhere when it comes to the kids medical needs and putting food in their bellies but you know what?...........there's always next year and that's just fine with me! take care and till next time.........ciao xoxo

latest EMD lo

credits

well i have been a busy little bee now haven't i?.....lol and of course the LO above has been created using the latest collab kit Flourish by edeline marta designs and camila designs which you can find right here at scrapartist. I love the fact that it's so bright happy and cheerful, teeming with oodles of yummy digi goodness for anyone who loves to scrap...so what'ya waiting for pop on over there and check it out!

ok on to other news while i'm blogging, first up at the moment our net connection has been slowed till monday cause we already went over our 25gb this month so till it's reset and i'm back in action....it's gonna be slow going and just doing what i can when the internet lets me.....very very very slowly.....lol

next on the agenda is the fact that the car broke down yet again yesterday.....and while i'm at the wheel yet again and this time the starter motor has packed it in completely so the tow truck was able to take it off to the guys that can fix that and we are just hoping that's all the damage and that it hasn't gone any further. of course today is a local public holiday....yep the bendigo cup so things will have to wait till tomorrow or friday till the guys go back to work and sus it all out. however i am grateful that this week was only busy with a couple of appointments and nothing like the past 3 weeks.

there is more to say but my sinus's are playing up today (oh the joys of spring) and i think i need to do something about it.....lol....ahhhh good old hayfever meds! so till next time enjoy the latest lo and ciao xoxo

fiddlin' and changin'

yep today i started fiddlin' around with this old blog of mine. i added an extra side bar listing under "autism", fiddled with some links that were no longer active and rearranged a couple of other things. i would love to have more time to do a complete overhaul complete with a new look but that may have to wait till i've got more time as it's always quite time consuming to fiddle with ya blog. so as it's still a work in progress i will apologise in advance for any links not currently active although apart from the blog ring and perhaps some of the blinkie links i am pretty sure everything else is still ok. i just need more time in my day for that to get it sorted as i need to move and create some extra goodies.

today was a fairly productive day although busy. the usual run of the mill errands and bills to be paid, emails to answer and send, phone calls to make and people to see.....lol but all in all good. i managed to finish another lo for EMD for her latest collab kit which is due to be released tomorrow and that's all i'm saying except the kit is gorgeous.....well i think so anyway.

lance's support worker from DHS was here for his weekly session with him. i am still in awe of what lance's worker is helping lance with which is emotions and how to read and understand them. i think i have mentioned before that lance although now 18 is unable to read/recognise facial and body expressions both within himself and that of others so his worker is taking him right back to basics there and trying to teach him all those things that we take for granted on a daily basis. as a parent it breaks my heart to think that his reality is not that of mine or anyone else's that we consider as typical and not autistic.

anyhoo this is just meant to be a very quick post and so i am leaving it at that. remember blog is under a little makeover and i'm working on it in my spare time.....lol
outta here and until next time ciao xoxo

busy times!

the title of this blog post pretty much says it all.....busy times. i cannot begin to tell you how busy it has been for the past 2 weeks...yep since the kids have gone back to school....lol and how busy this week is fast becoming with an appointment pretty much everyday. i think the incredible thing about it is yes i am managing but i tell you most appointments are pretty full on mentally.

today i needed to take stephanie and maddi to their eye specialist for their monthly check up complete with vision test, photo's and scans of their eyes....just the typical monthly thing we are all so use to now...but today we had some good news. specialist wants to try and string their injections out till early december and of course if things change for them in that time then to get them back sooner.....as we always do. so that's some good news and next month maddi's case study will be presented to a huge medical conference our specialist is attending and presenting to his colleagues our situation...talk about huge and in brisbane too.....yep my son has been a case study this year since he had a serious bleed in his left eye that if left untreated for another 2 weeks would have resulted in the permanent loss of his eyesight as well as a retinal tear resulting in the retinal fluid leaking so avastin injections were started there and then and continue to be what keeps the eye from getting worse. we have come a long way since then and although the kids need monthly check ups with photo's and scans and injections frequently to save their sight and will have this for the rest of their lives...this procedure far outweighs them losing their sight.

last friday maddi had his autism assessment with ADAS (autistic disorders assessment services) and while we do not have any information in regards to the outcome of the assessment right now, it's finally been done as it's been almost 12 months of waiting since his paediatrician diagnosed him with asperger's syndrome until further assessing. another 2 week wait till we receive the report and outcome but i'm patient.

ok some more good news....lance has been assigned a new case manager with DHS (department of human services) which is great....and if the phone calls and how nice he seems to be is anything to go on till tim and i meet him thursday then things are looking good.

ok 'nuf said about the above....yes i have been scrapping and once again for edeline marta designs. remember in my last post i mentioned i had done more lo's but wasn't sure when to post them? well i'm posting now so here ya go...the latest lo's for EMD

credits

credits

ok so think that's it for tonight and now i need to get my head into pscs2 and scrap a lo or 2 tonight in between flash forward and vampire diaries. ok outta here till next time....ciao xoxo

So much to say.............

ever get on your blog eager to update because there is plenty to tell but have no idea where to start.....lol well that would be me and many times over. what's news you ask...hummmmmmmmm?
well there's plenty to mention and i think i will start with some good news because i have some in fact i have more then one piece of good news to share with you so let me take a breathe, connect the brain matter and go bloggin'.

first up i am on a CT (creative team for a digital designer for those that aren't sure) and i have to say i don't even know how i managed it because there was no call and i simply updated my FB status with the fact that i was going to be scrapping that night and edeline of edeline marta designs cheekily asked me if i wanted to scrap with one of her new kits. of course how could i refuse....lol after all she has actually asked me a couple of times to scrap with a kit or 2 of hers and i have done so quite happily but now i am part of the team and i am really excited and have already started scrapping a lo here or there. so without further ado here is my first one as an official member of her CT. There is another that is done but not sure if i can put it up yet so will wait till given the all clear which should be thursday.

credits

ok so as i said i've been scrapping and here is another i managed to do for a frame (5x7 inch) i've had for some time sitting on a shelf.....more to come as i also have 2 other decorative frames to fill.

credits

today tim and i had a victorian civil and tribunal hearing at out local law courts in regards to becoming full time guardians and administrators for our autistic son lance and the fact that he is now 18 and something we have been preparing for sometime now. the great news is tim and i are now officially and legally all that and although there is more paperwork to do and reviews for guardianship every year and 3 for admin and we have to keep records of this and that, we are now able to look after lance continually as we have been doing and protect him in every way possible. so today's outcome was good.

tomorrow is another full on day as stephanie sees our local paediatrician who specialises in ASD's (autism spectrum disorders) first thing and then we are back at her psychologist in regards to the cognitive assessment she went through last week and what the outcome of that is.....so full day tomorrow but one step closer to finding out exactly what's going on with this girl.

thursday will be righteous pups for lance....poor kid barely got there last week as it was full on with appointments and clashed with his times and this week is just as bad but just one of those things we can't avoid. friday maddi is off to his full assessment at the ADAS (autism disorders assessment services) clinic and that will be another welcome step forward in finding out where he sits on the spectrum. another phone call today from another teacher because of difficult behaviour and i have no idea what to do.....but i do know that many of the teachers think maddi is able to do better and really do not understand anything autism at all which makes me a little cross indeed. anyway will deal with that come friday.

oh and before i forget yesterday when lance's B.I.S.T (behavioural intervention support team) worker came out to work with lance he mentioned that we now have a new case manager which is exciting news as our last one resigned and got a job elsewhere and we have been without since about july/august and in desperate need of one. hopefully next week we will meet him...yep a him and someone they were very careful to select for our very unique situation. so more good news and it just has to get better and better from here onward....i don't mind the occasional set back as that's life but we have to be able to move forward and get a handle on all what we're dealing with...of course none of that is possible without a full support team in place and understanding and putting together the right services for us. we don't ask for much but we can't do it on our own.

anyhoo think that'll do for now.....see told you i had good news and very good news it is. outta here till next time so take care and stay safe peeps.....ciao xoxo

time for an update!

seems it's been awhile since my last blog update although i could use all the excuses under the sun i wont bore you with the details except to say life is busy for me just as it is for you...lol! anyhoo we have been on school holidays for the past 2 weeks and come monday the kids go back to start a new term. not a single teen of mine is looking forward to it...not that i can blame them but for stephanie and maddi....there are huge changes taking place with the first part of their new school now complete and ready to go when they get back and new neighbourhoods to get use to. of course with the start of a new term comes a very busy time for us at least within the next 2 weeks....meetings and appointments galore....how fun!

prior to school holidays maddi had a cognitive assessment done and although i am still waiting to have an appointment with the psychologist that did it (he's on leave), what it suggests will have a serious impact on his teachers and his learning at school if they choose to take it onboard. although i won't tell you what his full scale IQ is, i will mention that it's low and all i can say at this stage in regards to the teachers that have recently given him such a hard time because they believe he is capable of so much more....it's time to listen and take notice because you got it so wrong.....if only they would listen to parents!

next on the list is the fact that we have finally been given an appointment with ADAS (autistic disorders assessment services) here in bendigo so maddi can have a full assessment done. this has been such a stressful and difficult journey for the past 10 months because he does not have a case manager and we have had to do it pretty darn tough because of it. we have some paperwork to fill in for that...a developmental behaviour checklist, 1 for tim and i and one for his teacher to work through.

stephanie is in next week for a cognitive assessment....took 2 whole weeks to organise that....but you know the difference? steps is case managed and maddi is not. we have just filled in her developmental behaviour checklist as well which goes to ADAS and so that's been sorted out. we also need to get her off to the doctors this week because we need another referral for another psychiatrist to see her and help with what's needed there and then she is also off to see our own local autism specialist ken armstrong who is a paediatrician that specialises in ASD's.

in regards to lance we have this coming wednesday a meeting with his mentor at netschool and another support worker/case manager in relation to his funding for school in what to do and how best to support lance in relation to adults with a disability and where to next year.........................and speaking of lance he has had it pretty tough the past couple of weeks. 1st his paediatrician has weaned him off his heart medication and come next tuesday it will be a full 2 weeks. since then i have had to call him as lance has not done so well. breathless, heart pains, dizzy spells, almost fainted twice and has had pain down his right arm. dr just wants it out of his system completely, see if things stabilise and if it so then they know what the problem is and if it doesn't then it finally clarifies his coronary artery spasm for good. needless to say we are watching and making sure if things become urgent we just get him up to the hospital asap so we are being very very cautious. on top of all this he had a hair cut and although i think it looks great and so much better then what he had lance is not always coping at his best....a huge change is a hair cut in an autistic kid and oddly enough his last proper one was almost 12 months ago. anyway not only is it a physical change, a tactile change but indeed a social change as well. time will tell and it came close to ringing our triage service here the day he had it cut this week...yep things have been full on here.

grace is fine....checking out the local job places for a casual possie now that her health is pretty much 100% since she's had glandular fever. it was really nice to see her and steps playing with the wii this arvo for ages....loads of giggles and laughs and i'm certain heaps of cheating....lol but really great to listen to it all minus the stresses and the anxieties that plague this family full on.

oct 6th is almost here.....yep one year since dad past away suddenly...still can't get my head round it all and everything that has happened since then and there are just too many times that i expect him to just walk in the house still or start chatting to me on the phone when i ring mum or she rings me. how i miss you dad xxxxx

so like i said earlier we've been on 2 weeks of school holidays and you know when you have goals and aims and then pfffft nothing? yep thought so well i don't think i got much done at all. the truth be known is that although we did not have to worry about the school runs i still had appointments, still took lance to righteous pups 2/3 times a week and because he doesn't cope with his personal carer or staying there by himself just yet i need to stay with him so that takes out about 3 arvos a week. then there are all those times that i have been completely unmotivated to scrap and simply felt blah. oh and the weather.....well although spring sprung officially come the first of sep, we have had pretty much nothing but cold, wet, rainy, miserable days with barely a hint of sun or warmth! i did manage to potter about with a little bit here and there with my canvases, oh and i did by some gorgeous new paper scrapping products just the other day because our local spotlight store that was affected by the tragic bushfires on black saturday (feb 7th) earlier this year reopened, had a grand opening and is looking fab-u-lous!!!!! so had to sus them out.

anyway time for me to stop and do something else that hopefully will be just as constructive or close too blogging and i may even attempt to do some scrapping....yep digital as i have some new kits to play with and some gorgeous frames to fill. outta here....ciao xoxo

happy 14th birthday maddison!

yes huge happy birthday wishes to our son maddison who actually turned 14 yesterday. ahhhhh a mother's quilt for not being able to blog earlier and wish him an awesome day on his actual birthday, although very much done in real life just not in bloggin' life, but stuff happens and no matter how well you try things just don't happen the way one would wish. another quiet birthday celebration and here at home. he was happy as he got an xbox game he wanted amongst other things but as soon as he saw it that was it.....he hid in his room playing it until he reached all levels in the ability he was playing in and then came out for tea...his choice and his fave....lamb souvlaki's with garlic sauce and a boston mud cake from our local cheescake shop. he had also asked if i could hire out saving private ryan for a week and he sat and watched that this morning with tim and i think the plan is to watch it everyday. i will have to purchase this one for him so he has it on hand when he wants to watch.

as you can see maddison has a passion... a very serious one just like most kids with asperger's syndrome do....he has always loved anything military/army/war related for as long as i can remember and simply managed to bring everything into it that somehow reflects his passion. he knows so much about his passion that even i find it incredibly amazing and never tire of it although he chooses many times not to talk (selective mutism) when he does he knows his stuff and i am once again gobsmacked by his knowledge and in particular all things WW2.

his latest mission in regards to his passion is the xbox games he plays that revolve around war and at the moment even that has to be WW2. the game he wanted for his birthday was IL 2 sturmovik - birds of prey as seen below although the rating on this is very different here in australia then what you see on the left corner which is 7+.


i have no idea how many games maddi now has for the xbox but it's getting to be quite a few....doesn't help when he passes the levels in one night then goes up an ability then passes the levels in one night and so on and so on. thankfully these games can be played online.

of course he also got a couple of t-shirts that are needed as the warmer weather starts...he has got taller, now towers over stephanie his older sister and has lost soooo much weight that where only 6 months ago i was struggling to buy anything to fit him in the large men sizing he is now into small mens. new wallet (army camouflage material), some cash and a new book - aircraft of ww2 by robert jackson which maddi just loves and another to add to his collection.

anyhoo that's it now until grace's birthday just 2 days before christmas and would you believe she's turning 17....wow i'm still getting use to the fact that she is 16....lol oh and did i tell you that she got her learner's permit for driving about 3 weeks ago now and is well on her way to gain her 120 hours of driving experience required and logged for when she turns 18 and can officially go for her p's.

life is full on still as usual but the good thing is we officially start school holidays tomorrow for 2 weeks and although we still have appointments and stuff like that at least the school runs for 2 weeks won't be necessary and so sleep in's and scrapping here i come.....well that's my hope and goal....lol.

ok that's it for another post....i so want to revamp this blog of mine....keep window shopping for new blog packages but just don't have the time to do anything at the moment. anyway it will happen....just like christmas which we are certain of....lol just think christmas will happen sooner. :)
outta here for now so till next we meet again take care and stay safe.....hugs chris xoxo

happy 18th birthday lance!

wow can you believe today lance turns 18 and as i look back over the past 18 years of where we've been, the journey we have have traveled thus far and how we've managed to get to this incredible milestone here today my mind boggles at all we have come through and i am so very grateful that God has been gracious with us. come with me as i reminisce just a little over the past 18 years but i'll go back just a little further so you kinda get the picture a little clearer.....lol

tim and i were married on the 6th of september 1986 and this year marked our 23rd wedding anniversary. we were married for 4 years and wanted to start a family yet in 1990 about a year before lance was born tim and i were given some terrible news which was heartbreaking. without going into too many details because i certainly don't want to bore you to tears, i was told by my specialist that the damage and the scarring left behind from the severe endometriosis i was dealing with would pretty much leave us childless and i was told that i would not be able to have children. the specialist also informed me that even if i was too fall pregnant i would not be able to carry full term and i would lose the baby early....not the best of news to hear. now i do believe in God and i do believe in the power of prayer so that's what tim and i did....prayed for children but we also came to a harsh reality that if it were not to be then that was that. 8 weeks later i was given the good news that tim and i were expecting our first child and we were ecstatic.

it wasn't the easiest of pregnancies with 3 threaten miscarriages, many days in bed, trips to the doctor to make sure the baby was still alive and eventually having to resign my job but we got through it and on the 14th of september 1991 i went into labour. off to hospital as the contractions became more intense and closer and as things progressed there normally for a period of time it soon became apparent that things were not going so well in fact things would become complicated and i would have a fight on my hands trying to stay alive. somewhere in amongst the absolute agony that no drug was able to handle they realised that lance was positioned badly and it was causing stress. i recall quite clearly my near death experience while in labour, i recall when i stopped breathing and my body was completely paralysed, unable to move, my eyes unable to open, my voice unable to scream out, i knew that something was seriously wrong and this was it....i would have to fight to save myself and my unborn child because although i could hear everyone including tim panicking and asking for help i was not able to respond to any of it and i was slipping deeper and deeper into darkness and all i could do was call out to God to save me. that he did because then i saw a light in amongst all that darkness and i knew that although I was heading further into it i needed to move towards the light and come out of this alive.

i remember quite clearly as if it were just yesterday breathing again and being whisked off to another room where they could prepare me for an epidural and the birth of my child with more care. lance had still not turned and when the epidural was given and didn't work but paralysed the right leg instead of the lower half of my already exhausted body i knew we were still in for the fight because I was still in agony and as much as tim and i kept asking for a cesarean they kept saying they were doing everything they could. i must have lost consciousness somewhere along the line after that and coming to i recall them saying the baby had finally turned and just in time so it was now time to deliver. lance was born at 7.52 am that morning and although all his apgar scores were fine etc etc i knew something was wrong, i hadn't heard him cry yet nor would we for hours and when i asked why it all i got told was it was all the drugs in our system that had doped him up....but still i knew, i knew something was not quite right.

we watched lance grow, develop and reach his 1st year milestones incredibly early and I began to wonder if indeed there was any possibility that we may have a "gifted child" here. then that nagging feeling from his birth hit us big time because we started seeing some odd behaviours in lance and it all started with those few words he knew so well and seemed to understand the meaning of. then all over a sudden he wasn't able to say them and he seem to get "lost in translation" when he tried to talk and then the frustrations started as his speech progressively got worse and it appeared he was not able to process and understand pretty much anything anyone said as speech became more and more confusing. his tantrums and self harming started as well and by 2 we knew something wasn't right but because this was our firs child and I did not want to be labeled with "it's just the 2 year old phase" tim and i spoke to no-one about our concerns and by the time lance was 3 and things became extreme we knew it was time to see the doctor and express our concerns about lance. he in turn referred us to lance's paediatrician and after some time he referred us to early intervention who suggested that lance may possibly be autistic and because of his speech difficulties he would need to see a speechy. 2 years of speech and the speechy saying that his brain processes things back to front and wasn't normal, 2 years of early intervention and then closing the file saying everything was fine now that he was in school, became 15 more years of hell and misdiagnosis and trying to find out what was so different about our son because something was indeed not right.

lance late last year was finally diagnosed with autism. he has a severe speech, language and communication delay, learning difficulties, low average IQ, is unable to "adapt" well if at all, depression, severe anxieties, doesn't process much and then of course we look at all the symptoms that make for a diagnosis of autism which not only includes all of the above but many more i.e - sensory/tactile difficulties, taps constantly, monotone voice/tone, is very literal, is unable to read facial expression and understand them - both his and everyone else's, mimic's, mirror images people, makes up his own idiosyncrasies, has meltdowns, struggles severely because he can't make sense of the world that we live in, self harms and the list just goes on and on...oh and did I mention needs 24/7 care and support.

although the journey has not been an easy one with it's high and lows, it's negatives and positives, the intense daily struggles we deal with everyday........today is a huge milestone because things could have been very different and without God's intervention, lance and i would not be here that i am certain of. if you have managed to read this far i hope you have taken something from my "memoirs" and i thank you for allowing me to share a little glimpse in to the world our family lives in.....the world of autism and even though there are daily struggles and there is so much to deal with, every morning my son wakes up is a miracle and one I am forever grateful for, every morning he comes in from his unit and i greet him with 'goodmorning lanciepoos" and he smiles his most gorgeous smile i know it will be alright!

so to my gorgeous boy who seemed to grow up so quickly and is now 18, happy 18th birthday lance, i wish you the very best of happiness and peace, i pray for easier times and things to become more stable in your life no matter how much help and support is needed, i pray for people to accept you for who you are, not for someone you are not nor can be and i am thankful that God saw us as worthy parents, to allow you to be born into this family so we could love you with every ounce of ourselves and all that is possibly human and even then so much more. we love you so much!!! xoxo

in need of awesome photo actions?

if so then head on over to my four hens photography by sarah cornish! as well as being one incredibly talented photographer her photo actions are simply brilliant and amazing. i have only purchased a small handful of her actions just for starters (hubby would probably shoot me if I got them all in one hit...lol) but she has tons of amazing actions on her site and if you're a little unsure then download her freebies and test them out.

ok so what ya waiting for go check them out...go on off ya go! hugs chris xoxo

time to reflect!!!

it's friday, i'm sitting here at my pc filling in time while i wait for another load of washing to finish it's cycle, reflecting on the week we've had and wondering will it ever be any different? this week has been a particularly turbulent time for tim and i and although i won't go into detail, i will just say that life can really deal you some pretty hard knocks from time to time even on top of everything else we already deal with. however i will also mention that although the hard knocks may come, thick and fast, i will not let them get the better of me anymore, even after hitting the ground i will get back up again, i will stand tall, i will stand strong because i know God will be there right next to me holding me up and not allowing me to utterly and completely fall. although a difficult week, sleepless nights, worries and fears not just for myself but for those of my children who are hurting deeply at present, it has given me an opportunity to pause, stop and reflect on past things, the here and now and the immediate future for not only myself but that of my family.

love is an incredible thing, for some it does not come so easily, for others it is painful and for most of us it means so much more then words can express. when it comes to our children we are the lioness who will do what it takes, who will go to the ends of the earth to do what is necessary in order to protect our cubs, whatever it takes to keep them safe and out of harms way till they are ready and able to fend for themselves and even then we will be there for them, to step back as we need to and to step in as we should.

for me these past few days have been a time of reflection, a time to pause and revisit events in my life, some good, some bad and some that are incredibly painful in order to move forward and make progress not just for me but for my daughter stephanie who is going through an incredibly rough time at present and although it completely breaks my heart to see her in so much pain, i trust in God that he will bring us through this and we will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

until next bloggin' i hope you all have a great weekend and tell those you love how much they mean to you. take care and stay safe, hugs chris xoxo

latest layout

my goodness i am on a roll with the scrapping....lol and it feels good. how long it last's well that's the million dollar question now hey?! but still while i can i will. anyhoo i best write up the credits for this LO and here they are.

me

credits:
sweet song - jofia devoe
old frame - weathered frames - catherine designs
"me" - acrylic stickers 3 with glitter - emily powers
super fun happy and boutwell magic glasses photo actions - totally rad
font - monotype corsiva.

today was a very productive day in the sense that it is a saturday but the weather was beautiful.....ahhhh spring is in the air.....and that always helps the mojo. managed some laundry, a chicken and leek pie, slow cooked casserole for tomorrow nights tea, girls cooked 2 batches of scones made with cream and lemonade with just a little supervising from me, grace made some yogurt and icecream and i also cleaned up under the gazebo we have out near the back door. seating and redecorating, fertilising the plants, sweeping etc etc and now it is fit for warm days and evenings, bbq's and quiet times.

ok so that's all for tonight so wherever you are and whatever you do....have a great weekend and until next bloggin'...take care and stay safe, hugs chris xoxo

it's a miracle.......

....i've finally scrapped a LO and it's finished....lol wanna see? silly question hey? of course ya do!!!

pier

credits:
papers, stitches, frame, button and alpha brackets - soft breeze
border, leaf spray and bling - bumble bee breeze
twill pinch ribbon, pin and butterfly - a little wild
all the above - designs by anita @ pickleberrypop.com
"pier" - high shine chrome alpha - chantilly lace
fonts - pristina and monotype corsiva

journaling reads:
part of the ceiling on the old queenscliff pier down by the coast. i love this beautiful old historic building with it's simple yet stylish trimmings. certainly a favourite destination of mine when visiting the beach.

so it's been awhile since i last blogged and i do apologise to my followers for that but many of you know that it's pretty hectic here these days and i just don't have time to fit everything in anymore no matter how hard i try there are simply not enough hours in my day to do it all.

there is so much i wish to blog about and let you all know but for now i am going to leave it simple and just show off my latest LO. besides there is always tomorrow....and the next day...and the next....lol and i am hoping that if i can at least blog a little every couple of days then that will keep my blog fresh and my followers more interested.

till next time take care and stay safe...hugs chris xoxo

amazingly enough........

......the holidays have come to an end...yep it's saturday evening now and come monday kids are back at school....all mine with the exception of lance who only does an hour a week on wednesday's at the moment anyway. so how did all you mums (and dads) manage? did you enjoy them? did you manage to stay sane if not for all the time then some of the time? i surely hope so and although many of us enjoy the holidays...like me, i guess in many ways we also enjoy the kids going back to school, back to some sort of normality and some sort of routine. the other great thing about them going back to school is we parents get to breathe a little sit back and recharge!

i have to admit i actually got nothing done that i wanted to these holidays. the first week i had the flu along with maddison and then after i started to get better with that, last thursday my back decided it was time to go out with another disc bulge and today is the first day i have been able to stand upright and have the muscles in my back go back to some sort of normal and not look like the hunchback of notre dame. so the roses didn't get pruned, the scrapping was barely touched...i did make a start and that was that, the rearranging and full on clean of the house did not get done and pretty much that's that and i got no where.

so life is still full on and seems to only get busier and i personally could do with a holiday. i can't believe we are in july already and that the weeks seem to fly by quicker and quicker with each passing day. we had a taste of spring 2 days ago for 2 days and it was warm and just gorgeous. today however it is pouring down with rain, not that i mind because the good lord knows we need it and plenty of it.

our car is out of action at the moment. yep decided not to start on tuesday and has remained like that since. we called the racv out on wednesday and he told us that it sounded like it was the coil etc etc so we replaced that with a new one and the distributor cap as well as some leads and tim and his dad worked on the car all day thursday and friday and now that everything is where it's meant to be....nothing! now the smartlock is playing up it won't reset no matter what we do. so the car will now need to go to an auto electrician come monday and we hope and pray they can sort it out asap for us. so rearranging appointments, cancelling some, rescheduling others and postponing a weekend away are just some of the "benefits" <.....note the sarcasm here....of not having a car and not having a 2nd car for any needed running about.

the tricky thing is getting grace to and fro work on the couple of mornings she starts at 6 am....any volunteers there? and of course getting her to school right in the centre of town straight after that. ahhh that is going to be a challenge and if anyone suggests buses....they don't run that time of the morning and she refuses to take a taxi because she does not feel safe. anyway somehow we will manage and hope and pray the car is dealt with asap and we have it back without too many more days without it.

well at the moment i have no idea what else to blog about....yeh i could blog some more but i really can't be bothered....lol. nope i have no layouts to show just at the moment either although i recently did some for BSM but you will have to wait for those and next update i promise to throw some layouts on here from previous BSM months. well that's it for me...signing off and logging out. take care and hugs xoxo

first week......gone!

yep the holidays this time round are passing by far too quickly. the first week is almost over and i haven't done a thing it seems. mind you the weather hasn't helped seeing as it is cold wet and mostly rainy which is good just not great for being outdoors to do anything in the garden or take the kids anywhere down the street. so i hope you mums (and dads) have all enjoyed them and stayed as sane as humanly possibly.

today tim and i picked up a new hoover core 3 vacuum cleaner and also a pullman power wash carpet steam cleaner. not the sort of thing one really wants to go buy but sadly something we can't do without especially when the other vac just doesn't do anything anymore and the fact that i am tired of spending quite a bit of money yearly to have our carpets steam cleaned...now we can do that ourselves and seeing as tim use to clean professionally for a cleaning business upteen years ago he kinda knows what he's doing so that will be his job these days.

today lance and i also did a righteous pups session and that was cool because the pups are all back, somewhat bigger and more mischievous but beautiful just the same. lance walked a new dog today, not a new dog to righteous pups, but one to us and his name is albert a 2 yr old lab. he is just beautiful as they all are and lance also got to play, take photos and look after a few of the puppies which he just loved. this is something lance is enjoying so much and it's good to see him develop a bond/relationship not only with the pups and older dogs but with jo and kelly the 2 main managers there.

no recent scrapping has been done but i did manage a little on my canvases i am doing at the moment...yes they are taking forever but they are getting there and once done i am eager to take pics and show them off.

hummmm what else is new....nothing really except we plan to go see transformers tomorrow night. we saw the 1st one when it came out and everyone who has seen #2 say it is great and i can't wait just to go there and enjoy some time out from the everyday humdrum of our lives.

ok quick and simple tonight and until next bloggin' take care chris xoxo

Sickness, too many appointments and school holidays!

wow i do believe that is the longest title that i have ever titled my post with.....in forever.....well just in the history of my blog anyways. so to begin with and as the title suggests the ickies have hit here at home and we are so not lovin' it. some of you may know that grace has been sick for quite a few weeks now, started off with tonsillitis, then turned into a viral infection which of course turned into a nasty case of glandular fever and so almost 2 weeks ago we had her back to the doctors who told us to get her straight up to the hospital who in turn got her straight on to a drip to rehydrate her and fill her system up with a cocktail mix of drugs as her tonsils had swollen to the point she was having difficulty swallowing and breathing. they wanted to admit her but after being on the drip for a few hours and given some more meds to take home they thought it best for her to be more comfortable at home then in a hospital ward and of course more time off school and work. she was put on a course of steroids and an anti inflammatory as well as some goo mixture they make up to help relieve and numb the throat which in itself is just pure magic. she is getting better although some days are better then others and doc did tell us that it would probably be like this for the next 4-6 months but hopefully the next 4-6 weeks would see an improvement.

i have had some virus/flu thing hit me hard as well these past 3/4 days and with it came a terrible cough and fever but today i have felt better for the first time since it hit so i am pleased with that.

steps has been hit with something as well a bit of a cold and a little tummy bug as well and today she seems to be fairing well with it and has had a good day today. she has been having a bit of a hard time at school lately and her psychiatrist and her psychologist are working hard with her and they are also referring her to a different department but one i am so not ready to tell the world about yet.

tim has been off to have a few blood tests....well quite a few and goes back to the doctor in a few days to see the outcome of those. he hasn't been travelling all the best for some time and doc decided it was time to take further action. so a little more waiting there.

maddi is going through a pretty rough time he has started injections in both eyes now and as well as being monitored all the time it will also be ongoing so that has been a bit of a shocker for all of us. specialist did tell me last visit that as much as this is working for now and the fact that had to do something, they don't know the long term effects nor will they know how long each treatment will last and as he mentioned to me they are trying to avoid maddi coming in every week for this. whoa!!!!

lance is ok although he did have a rather large meltdown on monday but then the trigger point for that may have been the fact that we have introduced a new support worker for him and although it is early days and i have been onboard the only other time this support worker has spent time with us, so far a meet and greet monday and then thursday was over at righteous pups australia, we are hoping this to be a positive....it's just going to take time and lots of it as lance does not cope with change and/or strangers. we received results of another assessment for him this week which was his speech and language and i must say tim and i, although we knew, are having a hard time dealing with the reality of that and the fact that there is such a severe delay there in most of the sub categories and not only does it explain so much which can help all of us but makes us realise that reality is lance does not understand most of what we say and nor can he express himself very well at all.

ok so remember part of the title mentioned about too many appointments.....people don't really believe it when i say i am flat out with them and the impact it has on one individual trying to keep it all balanced so guess what i'm going to tell you how many i had for the month of may alone, yep and it's pretty much like this every month. ok so for may i had 27....yep you read right 27 appointments i had to deal with. on top of that i also had to deal with the multitude of phone calls and many of them to professionals and service providers which of course adds another whole new lot of layers because most phone calls are between the 30 - 90 minutes timing and full on. then there is the running around....yeh remember i am a wife and mum too so grocery shopping, general shopping, paying bills, running errands, house hold chores (although i must give tim credit here as he usually does the laundry, the dishes and whatever else i can manage to throw his way), gardening, cooking, pets, paper work and trust me there is stacks of that when you have kids with serious disabilities, being a taxi and of course keeping the family life balanced (hahaha) and trying to keep it close to anything that may possibly resemble normal. now just to tell you a little story....my mum rang me up this week and wanted to know why i had not been in touch or how come i had not visited her home for the past few weeks....mind you i am still trying to come to terms that this women just remarried last month only 7 months after dad died but ok fair enough....i then told her how busy i was...still didn't sink in until i told her how many appointments i had for the month of may.....yay a light bulb went on and something must have registered because she said really 27, gosh chris.....yeh gosh mum that's me alright.

yay we are officially on school holidays and i am stoked, i am looking forward to a little less rushing and i am also making sure i don't book to many appointments while we are on holidays although some are just par for the course but some i have control over and i get to organise. i am looking forward to sleeping in and when i have been as sick as i have been with little sleep over the past few nights then yes bring them on. i am looking forward to going to the pictures and using all those free movie tickets we have been graciously given by carer support services. i am looking forward to shopping at myer with my girls as well because grace gave me a gift certificate for my birthday from there. i am looking forward to a little scrapping as well both paper and digi and finishing off those 4 little 8x8 canvases i started on and have not had a chance to finish. i am looking forward to a little garden tidy up and pruning the roses this year and transplanting a couple of them. but most of all i am looking forward to being with my hubby and kids....no stress or pressure....late nights...late mornings as we wish and as we can manage.....now it's not a perfect holiday but maybe it just a little closer to normal for us.

last but not least i will leave you with a lo i recently did......... i don't usually work with purple....as much as i don't mind the colour, scrapping with it is another thing, but i love this and i love the papers thanks to chantilly lace and her recent RAK :)

Credits:
Papers - Vintage French Roses and What A Mess (brights) - Chantilly Lace
Worn Overlays - Something Blue Studios
Dirty Jeans Photo Action - Paint The Moon
Frame, Mesh and Screw - Weathered Frames - Catherine Designs
Rusty Old Frame - Grab Bag #1 - SMJ
Get Punched Alpha - Nikki Beaudreau
Black Polka Ribbon Wrap, Buckled Ribbon Wrap and Beaded Flower - Perfect Day - Paint The Moon
Everything else - Spring - Natali Design
Font - Stamp

ok so i'm outta here for now and off to do some much needed scrapping long over due for Bella Scraps MagazineTM due to me being icky these past few days. take care, stay outta trouble and for those of us on school holidays...enjoy and stay sane! hugs xoxo

Random Acts of Kindness and a New Layout!

Credits:
Be Bold - Edeline Marta Design
Stitches and Lace - All You Need Is Love - Natali Design
Funky B&W Photo Action - Annie Manning - Paint The Moon
Meshy Brushy - Emily Merritt Design
Font - Stamp

Yes this is my latest LO created using some very yummy goodies. Now there are 2 people I would truly like to say thanks to for the RAK (Random Act of Kindness) I have received of late. Rita from Chantilly Lace who sent me a GC (gift certificate) for some of her beautiful goodies in store I could not resist and also to Edeline from Edeline Marta Design who randomly asked if I wanted to work with any of her kits whenever and of course how does one resist yet again so of course I said yes.

Thankyou so much girls I hope you both know what it means to me with what you've done.....it's been so tough for what seems like ages here in the Turnbull family and I have felt so overwhelmed with it all and although things do not look like they will slow down anytime soon.....these RAK's are truly incredible and what keeps you going as a human in some form so girls hugs to you both. xx

There is so much to blog about and let all my readers know with the recent Turnbull saga's but at the moment I am not feeling so motivated to do so....sad I know but I will when I feel I'm in the right mental space. Today although it's Saturday, feels weird, kinda one of those blah days that you feel going back to bed would make things better.....lol but no instead I will avoid that and plod along. Yes it's a dreary wet and cold winter's day here once more and the sun hasn't shone much in the past 13 days but still I prefer it to the hot sunny weather we get her in Australia which seems extreme.

Till next blog take care and stay safe. Chris xoxo

Reminder..............

.................to oneself.....must blog....lol!!!! Much to say so little time to say it or blog it for that matter and if I wasn't so addicted to facebook and farm town then maybe I could blog more! Anyhoo short and sweet until the next "official" post as this one is just a reminder....hehehe!

Bad News, Really Bad News And Then Some Good!

I know I am struggling with blogging a little of late, scrapping, joining in with the forums I'm part of and I apologize to all those that come by and read my posts and updates......but basically and sadly 3 weeks ago I got to the point of not coping with anything anymore. Yes I probably deal with more then most but even little old me gets to breaking point and that's what happened 3 weeks ago. So to make sure I did not completely crash and burn and delve into the deep dark chasms of depression and a serious breakdown.... I had to take steps to prevent it from happening but I tell you it came close, it came scarily close. It has been a very scary 3 weeks even to the point that Tim wanted to take me to the doctors twice and for one whole week I was just in tears and to the point of sheer and utter mental and physical exhaustion.

I know the signs of a breakdown only all too well, the inner turmoil and the complete brain chemical out of balance stuff.....been there far too many times and I prefer not to think of it if I have too. I've also watched hubby and my own kids go down that ugly path...yep the black dog, but I felt this time although going to the doctors would possibly get me back on anti-depressants I really felt it was not the answer because as much as I might be happier in a few weeks etc etc...the stress would still be there and that no one could help with that because the appointments would still keep coming in droves and the difficulties associated with my kids and Tim's own difficulties would have had to be put on hold....I couldn't do that so with my own strategies in place (no appointments Monday's and Fridays), rearranging how I tackle all I do and coming to a realization that some things just can't be ignored and I am very much needed, that and with the added help of iron and st john of wort tablets over the counter remedies I am feeling more myself this past few days then I have in awhile.

Ok so that's the bad news, now for the really bad news...... on Saturday evening I received a phone call from my mother who had got married that day. Now if you all recall my dad died October 6th last year from an aggressive form of cancer he was cremated on the 10th and the shock it has been on all the family has been horrendous as you can well imagine. Of course if you also remember my grandmother had a fall not long after that which put her into hospital where she had another very serious fall that kept her there for weeks until I had to put her in a nursing home as my mum 4 weeks after dad's death went to Melbourne for what was meant to be 2 weeks and left me with all the extra responsibility of her and my grandmothers affairs on top of what my family was already dealing with. Exactly one month later, Nov 7th, my mother was engaged to her now new husband.

She moved back home about 3 weeks ago with her fiance and one thing I will share with you is this man is no stranger to us....his own wife died about 2/3 years ago and he has been a close friend of my mums for the past 53 years. On Saturday evening however I received a phone call to say that they had got married and that they chose do invite no-one from either families (probably because none of us agree with it), and that they had 2 witnesses of whom I do not know as she did not tell me who they were and the marriage celebrant that performed the "ceremony", back in Melton....nope not even here in Bendigo.....so imagine my shock of it all. She then informed me that her last name is now Mrs. Campbell...I mentioned that might take some getting use to....she just sad well you'll have to, I have too and in fact I already am.....grrrrrrr, I am a little cross as you can imagine. Then she mentioned she was going to let my siblings know and apart from letting my younger sister know she has told no-one else...nope not my other siblings at all.

Anyway enough of the really bad news and now onto the good news............you all remember my youngest son Maddi with his bleeding eye with all the retinal fluid and having to have treatment for that in the way of a newer drug called Avastin (being used for this kind of thing) and injected straight into his left eyeball. Well good news is that after the 2nd treatment 5 weeks ago his eyesight had improved incredibly. The drug finally worked and as it has never been done before here in Australia and in fact really not in too many places at all around the world (they have only found one other case in Germany), it has been made into a case study and Maddison's situation will be presented at a convention here in Australia by his eye specialist as well as the fellow that works under him for all those medical guys and gals to see. The bleed has completely gone, the retinal fluid has sorted itself out and basically Maddi's left eye is really well. Photo's show even a possibility of the Best's lesion to even be smaller and that is very very promising. Time will tell and this has not come without it's costs.....Maddi's eye's will always need to be monitored and he will always need to have the drug....how often now is the ?

Because last week he was meant to have his 3rd injection and Mr Atkins decided not to do it as everything is looking so good. With continuous monitoring it may be possible that the injections could string out for 3 months......no one knows and as Mr Atkins put it ever so politely "Maddi is the guinea pig in this new treatment and therefore the monitoring will need to be done so we wait and see". We know the signs to look for and so we understand what it means if Maddi notices a change. The other thing is that his eyes also constantly need to be checked for glaucoma, they have a special thermometer that reads the pressure of the eyeball....so far each time it has sat normal. I remember someone long ago said to me that no matter all the negative when you need to chat etc ....end it on a positive......I think I have managed that well because out of all this crappiness we are dealing with as a family there is good news and it's very very good news. How can you not thank God for another blessing and in this case a very much needed miracle!!!

So I will leave you on that note and perhaps next time I blog I will have a couple of LO's to share with you....not new to me but new to you as they were created for Bellascraps MagazineTM and now that the latest issue is out I can post the previous LO's from that issue and perhaps some more that I keep forgetting to show off.
Hugs and kisses to all you out there...............Chris xoxo

My latest LO's....wanna see them?!

Of course you do what a silly question to ask. I have finally uploaded my latest 2 LO's over on Facebook and yet to pop them in all my galleries but here they are for you to enjoy on my blog.

Credits

Credits

So it's Sunday here and I am pottering about the place here and there. Already been to the supermarket to grab a few things....having potato soup for tea tonight and then yummy Sara Lee Chocolate Bavarian Desserts. The laundry has been done and I am seriously just filling in time so thought I'd take the opportunity to blog.

It has been an incredibly exhaustive week...but then when isn't it and I just wish things could slow down somewhat but it's not happening...how do you recharge when you are running on empty?!!! Thursday I kinda fell in a heap in tears just mentally and physically exhausted and the full realization of our son Lance's situation hit and hit hard. Trying to balance everything has become pretty much impossible and I just have to deal with each day as it comes and be mindful where I am in my own head space with it all.

This coming week is no better with appointments galore and also having to deal with some legal matters with our son in the way of guardianship, power of attorney for all his matters which Tim and I were requested about 5/6 weeks to start taking care of now. So that means once Lance turns 18 we will be able to deal with all his legal stuff and not himself as he is just not going to ever be capable of all that so we have all the information now which was sent last week and the forms and now to sit down with one another to sort through it. Thankfully we also have DHS (dept of human services) wanting to come on in and help us with that if and when we need it as well so that's good. More future planning...but tough!

Ok well must attend to this soup of mine....lol and although I have more to blog about it will give me an excuse to do that within the next few days with it. I must update you all on our son Maddison and his eye situation.....something positive amongst all the negative there.

Until next post take care and stay safe...hugs Chris xoxo

Righteous Pups Australia

Although my son Lance rarely attends school (he is at NETschool a compromise to mainstream) last Wednesday Lance went to school for the 1st time this term and spent an hour there. You may all be thinking....wow is that all whereas I'm saying wow yes we managed 1 hour and it was a good hour. Anyway part of the terms "projects" is attending Righteous Pups Australia Thursday afternoons for 1 hour and building a relationship and training new puppies whom of course they raise, socialize and train Autism Assistance Dogs to do a variety of practical tasks for children with Autism Spectrum Disorders and their families. Lance has been so excited about this for sometime and although I had to attend with him last week for the first session and will continue to do so, so long as Lance himself can manage it will be fantastic. I always knew Lance would shine here if only he could manage his anxieties....he did extremely well last week and of course we had already meet with one trainer and spoken to another on the phone prior to all this so everyone that needed to know was informed of Lance's own disabilities! Always a good move to make.

Unfortunately this week is somewhat different and we have had meltdown after meltdown most days because Lance's anxieties once again have got the better of him and they are out of control. No school again tomorrow and I am not so sure he will manage our 2nd week with Righteous Pups Australia...in fact I am pretty certain he won't. I do believe my son needs to be back in hospital getting proper care and being made a little more stable yet again. It's tough being a mum, it's tougher when you have children with multiple disabilities and tougher still when they can't function in any capacity because of their disabilities. The worse thing is knowing my son is in so much mental anguish and pain and that I can't take that pain away from him no matter how much I wish I could. His pacing night after night for such long periods of time, his meltdowns time and time again and daily, his thoughts and feelings and where they sit at the moment and realistically knowing that anything at anytime could happen and we have to be watchful and he can't be on his own...it's hard, it's horrible and it sucks for want of a better word or phrase and I feel so darn helpless.

Life for us is still so full on and intense, will only get worse as more services and people come in to help from different departments and with so much going on I wonder just how much longer I can keep running on empty before I crash and burn as well.

Ok 'nuf of that and now onto other things......I have scrapped for Bellascraps Magazine TM but of course they are for the next issue which is May/June and so can't show you yet....lol and although I have also managed to scrap another LO I am still not sure if it's done so that will also have to wait.....lol and of course in my spare time late at night when many are in bed snoring and snoozing I am usually on my PC surfing the web or trying to scrap anything at all but as soon as I can I will post a LO or 2 for you.

Stephanie has been seeing her psychologist for the past 3 weeks now and that will be continuous now as well as her psychiatrist which at the moment appears to be monthly and I think we are making some small progress there. You could never ever imagine just how much "weight of the world" this kid carries on her shoulders and it's heartbreaking. Grace is struggling at the moment too and is actually sick with something...woke up this morning vomiting and has flu like symptoms so need to keep an eye on her as she has also been running on empty.

Then there is Maddi who goes for his 3rd lot of injections into his left eye tomorrow. Treatment seems to be working but the fact it needs to be continuous sucks too because without it his eye starts bleeding again. We have Vision Australia on board now and they are helping with what's needed although it is all still early days at the moment and of course he has come down with a cold and has not been in school this week so far.

Anyway I think I'll leave it there for now and get this posted before Blogger has it's outage and I can't do anything. Till next time take care and stay safe, hugs Chris xoxo

Hummmmmmmmmmm.................................!

It's been awhile since I last blogged, I have plenty of excuses why but I won't bore you with those details tonight as I sit here typing away trying to update in any capacity. School holidays came and went as you know and we have been back in school for the past 2 weeks......well nearly all of us. Lance is on a downward spiral at the moment - his anxieties and obsessions have increased terribly and so we are trying to deal with that each day as best we can literally one moment at a time and therefore of course he hasn't been to school this term although he only goes for 1 hour a week he's simply not even managing that.

Maddison however has started back and did so last Thursday and has been doing half days to slowly get back into "the swing of things" and yesterday and today managed full days which is good. His treatment looks like it has worked in part although some days his eyesight seems blurrier than I like but all in all the drug being administered on a monthly basis seems to be making a positive statement and we just need to wait for a couple more weeks before we see the eye specialist again and he can let us know what's going on.

The girls seem ok at the moment....busy but managing with support and help. Stephanie was also referred to a child psychologist and well as a psychiatrist and last week was her 1st visit with the psychologist and we see him again this week. He can't believe the horror story we have been living for so long and is only too happy to be involved. I'm happy with that as well.

Tim and I are managing from moment to moment but must say we are both running on empty and I'm not so sure how to recharge to keep going. Awhile back the family were referred to Department If Human Services - Disability Services - Family Case Management Services (mouthful hey!) and that referral came through as of about 1 week ago and we had a first meeting with a new case manager on Tuesday who will help oversee all the supports etc that are needed to be put into place for Lance and the family. Our 1st planned meeting with this new case manager as well as Lance's CAMHS case manager will be on Tuesday where we start to work on and establish some planning in regards to the needs of Lance and the family and all long term as well.

I haven't done much in the way of scrapping.......I have finished a couple of LO's for BSM but I have to say it's been full on and I am struggling to stay afloat......I've been treading water for awhile and hopelessly run out of energy in every possible way...so not a good sign! I don't get into any of the forums although I am on facebook to zone out and on there I feel I can catch up with lots of online buddies all in the one place rather then the forums so I'm trying!!!!

Not sure what else to say at this stage so I think for now I will leave it there and hope that the next update won't be too far away and that l'll have a couple of LO's I can share with you as well. Tell then take care and have a great weekend. Hugs Chris xoxo

Happy Hoppy Easter!

Yes it is that time of the year again where I would love to wish everyone a very Happy Easter, for those of us travelling and or on school holidays please travel safely and stay safe....mostly stay sane as the school holidays take their toll on all of us having to deal with children at home...fighting - that good old sibling rivalry - eating us out of house and home and mostly being what I like to call "in ya face".....lol. Now don't get me wrong I love 'em..... holidays and my kids but having 4 teens under the one roof can get a little full on and if that's not enough the fact that both my boys are autistic should be....because it can be very demanding, challenging, mentally and physically exhaustive and just plain insane.

As I try to think about what I should blog about.....trust me when I say there's heaps...I can't help but feel really tired and if I were too close my eyes for a sec....hubby might just find me drooling all over the new keyboard...snoring like a chainsaw! Soooooooooo I'd better get typing...................I'm addicted to Farm Town on Facebook.....hubby can't work out what's happened to me because I "don't do games of any sort", kids are moaning cause I'm having some "me" time and me well lets just say I love it.......yep love working and watching my little farm grow and bloom everyday and it has been truly awesome meeting fab new people right around the world.....now that can't be that bad hey?!!!!! <................BTW that was not a question needing an answer......hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been busy though as usual and part of that busyness has been in the garden and repotting, replanting, cleaning up, putting in new plants and the general tidy up. So I am really pleased with myself these school holidays as I feel I am accomplishing a few things...well at least outside anyway. The cooler weather is on it's way and I am one happy camper.....lol so not a summer person what with the heat, the sweat, the body odour....lol, the flies and not forgetting the mozzies that seem to come out of no where...you can keep it I say.

School holidays are going well....we've had our moments but we've had our good times as well. Lance tried so hard to go down the street with a new friend of his today.....managed for awhile until I got the text message to say mum I can't cope anymore need you to pick me up so I was proud (although very worried) that he managed for a time. Tomorrow will be a quiet day for him and the rest of us in fact as I need to make sure Lance doesn't get to overwhelmed, anxious and agitated with his outing today.....yes it builds up and woe betide any of us near him when it does.....full on massive meltdown.

Yes I am doing a little scrapping.....2 LO's for BSM and 1 for me which I am almost finished thank goodness as I want to scrap with a new kit.......lol! Oh and guess what....was invited by Karah Fredricks to stay on another month as part of her Guest CT, so that's cool and need to start creating some more LO's with her products. Sadly the creativity is on holidays as we are at the moment so it is slow going but then thats what happens when everyone is home for the holidays.

I am wanting to take some more photos of Lance's unit and publish them as well....things are slowly coming together both inside and out with his unit and many ideas are buzzing about.....time and $$$$ is not always on our side but it's time for an update and I'll try to do that within the next day or 2.

Ok well thats it from me for now so Happy Easter everyone and till next time.....hugs Chris xoxo