Bad News, Really Bad News And Then Some Good!

I know I am struggling with blogging a little of late, scrapping, joining in with the forums I'm part of and I apologize to all those that come by and read my posts and updates......but basically and sadly 3 weeks ago I got to the point of not coping with anything anymore. Yes I probably deal with more then most but even little old me gets to breaking point and that's what happened 3 weeks ago. So to make sure I did not completely crash and burn and delve into the deep dark chasms of depression and a serious breakdown.... I had to take steps to prevent it from happening but I tell you it came close, it came scarily close. It has been a very scary 3 weeks even to the point that Tim wanted to take me to the doctors twice and for one whole week I was just in tears and to the point of sheer and utter mental and physical exhaustion.

I know the signs of a breakdown only all too well, the inner turmoil and the complete brain chemical out of balance stuff.....been there far too many times and I prefer not to think of it if I have too. I've also watched hubby and my own kids go down that ugly path...yep the black dog, but I felt this time although going to the doctors would possibly get me back on anti-depressants I really felt it was not the answer because as much as I might be happier in a few weeks etc etc...the stress would still be there and that no one could help with that because the appointments would still keep coming in droves and the difficulties associated with my kids and Tim's own difficulties would have had to be put on hold....I couldn't do that so with my own strategies in place (no appointments Monday's and Fridays), rearranging how I tackle all I do and coming to a realization that some things just can't be ignored and I am very much needed, that and with the added help of iron and st john of wort tablets over the counter remedies I am feeling more myself this past few days then I have in awhile.

Ok so that's the bad news, now for the really bad news...... on Saturday evening I received a phone call from my mother who had got married that day. Now if you all recall my dad died October 6th last year from an aggressive form of cancer he was cremated on the 10th and the shock it has been on all the family has been horrendous as you can well imagine. Of course if you also remember my grandmother had a fall not long after that which put her into hospital where she had another very serious fall that kept her there for weeks until I had to put her in a nursing home as my mum 4 weeks after dad's death went to Melbourne for what was meant to be 2 weeks and left me with all the extra responsibility of her and my grandmothers affairs on top of what my family was already dealing with. Exactly one month later, Nov 7th, my mother was engaged to her now new husband.

She moved back home about 3 weeks ago with her fiance and one thing I will share with you is this man is no stranger to us....his own wife died about 2/3 years ago and he has been a close friend of my mums for the past 53 years. On Saturday evening however I received a phone call to say that they had got married and that they chose do invite no-one from either families (probably because none of us agree with it), and that they had 2 witnesses of whom I do not know as she did not tell me who they were and the marriage celebrant that performed the "ceremony", back in Melton....nope not even here in Bendigo.....so imagine my shock of it all. She then informed me that her last name is now Mrs. Campbell...I mentioned that might take some getting use to....she just sad well you'll have to, I have too and in fact I already am.....grrrrrrr, I am a little cross as you can imagine. Then she mentioned she was going to let my siblings know and apart from letting my younger sister know she has told no-one else...nope not my other siblings at all.

Anyway enough of the really bad news and now onto the good news............you all remember my youngest son Maddi with his bleeding eye with all the retinal fluid and having to have treatment for that in the way of a newer drug called Avastin (being used for this kind of thing) and injected straight into his left eyeball. Well good news is that after the 2nd treatment 5 weeks ago his eyesight had improved incredibly. The drug finally worked and as it has never been done before here in Australia and in fact really not in too many places at all around the world (they have only found one other case in Germany), it has been made into a case study and Maddison's situation will be presented at a convention here in Australia by his eye specialist as well as the fellow that works under him for all those medical guys and gals to see. The bleed has completely gone, the retinal fluid has sorted itself out and basically Maddi's left eye is really well. Photo's show even a possibility of the Best's lesion to even be smaller and that is very very promising. Time will tell and this has not come without it's costs.....Maddi's eye's will always need to be monitored and he will always need to have the drug....how often now is the ?

Because last week he was meant to have his 3rd injection and Mr Atkins decided not to do it as everything is looking so good. With continuous monitoring it may be possible that the injections could string out for 3 months......no one knows and as Mr Atkins put it ever so politely "Maddi is the guinea pig in this new treatment and therefore the monitoring will need to be done so we wait and see". We know the signs to look for and so we understand what it means if Maddi notices a change. The other thing is that his eyes also constantly need to be checked for glaucoma, they have a special thermometer that reads the pressure of the eyeball....so far each time it has sat normal. I remember someone long ago said to me that no matter all the negative when you need to chat etc ....end it on a positive......I think I have managed that well because out of all this crappiness we are dealing with as a family there is good news and it's very very good news. How can you not thank God for another blessing and in this case a very much needed miracle!!!

So I will leave you on that note and perhaps next time I blog I will have a couple of LO's to share with you....not new to me but new to you as they were created for Bellascraps MagazineTM and now that the latest issue is out I can post the previous LO's from that issue and perhaps some more that I keep forgetting to show off.
Hugs and kisses to all you out there...............Chris xoxo