it's been a very long time...

it has been a very long time since using this blog to post about life, love and all things i tend to ramble on about. i decided to stop using this blog sometime ago last year and start one on a photography website however things have changed for me and i'm going to start afresh with this blog and update as often as i can.

so sit back and enjoy...

a lot has happened in the last 18 months or so and in fact life has been quite a roller coaster. kids are growing up and our youngest is now 18, and we've suffered great loss in our family and are still very much dealing with all that comes with loss and grief.

may 29th 2012 on my 45th birthday my dear sweet grandmother passed away from complications with bronchial pneumonia and as you can well imagine...that was quite a difficult time.

november 29th 2012, we lost our first grandchild through miscarriage which impacted on all of us including my dear sweet girl steph. that was an emotional time for all and ainsley raye will be forever in our hearts and forever part of our lives.

january 20th 2013, my nephew jason parsell passed away after suffering a short but hard battle with terminal cancer. this shocked us all as you can imagine. jason was only 25 years of age, the twin brother to matthew, brother to tony and rebecca, much loved uncle, son, partner and father to little madison.

tim and i separated after being together for 28 years and married for 27. this was not a mutual agreement as tim moved out of the marital home and life has been very difficult for the kids and i since this all took place. i won't go into details here as i don't wish to publicise what has taken place or the reasons behind but as i know people ask, it is easier to post a little something on my relationship status and where life has taken us over the past 18 months. i must say the shock of our marriage break up hit hard and we are still very much in recovery mode...which like any loss will take time to stand on solid ground once more.

life sure has a funny and odd way of throwing situations your way that you never ever thought were possible but here we are october 2013 and life has certainly thrown some pretty doozy curve balls our way. we may not always handle change the way we would like...some things are pretty intense but still with love and support we do the best we can to manage and handle the impact and all we can do is work out how to move forward and how to deal with some of the most challenging situations set right before us.

i thought i would also start uploading my photography images to this blog now too...there are plenty of them and it's kinda nice to have a new place, even if it has been rehashed, to proudly show my work.

anyway tonight is a short but fairly heavy post so keep coming back and enjoy the posts. i can't guarantee that i'll post every day, however, i hope to blog a couple of times a week at least.

i'll leave you with a quote i put together a little while ago when things were pretty tough...we could all do with being reminded about this...take care, chris xxx

slowly does it...

they say it's not always wise to jump into things full on and all in one hit...and i couldn't agree more. sometimes we need to take the bull by the horns so to speak and other times we need to move forward more slowly but certainly more surely. that's been my approach with my photography side of things ever since i purchased my very first dslr about 2.5 years ago and have loved learning and growing in all that time and for much of it purely as a hobby...my hobby...yep that passion of mine that seems to have taken a different journey (as mentioned in previous post) to where i ever expected. i'm overwhelmed but i am ever so grateful that there are people who believe in me, who are supporting and encouraging and who are quite proud of where my photography is heading.

yesterday i received another 2 phone calls in relation to my photography with people wanting to clear a spot on the calenders to fit me in. word apparently is spreading and i'm feeling the love...and i'm excited to say the least.

this week i've fine tuned and finished a whole heap of forms for clients...the general run of the mill paperwork that's needed for every photo session. so i'm pleased i have all that down pat. i'm also in awe of viewing some most gorgeous backdrops and floors from a company too far away in the US. i ♥ all there stuff and goodies. although i don't have a studio i am seriously looking into a possible 'mobile studio' and looking at a mobile backdrop system i can take easily on the road and of course props.....yep i realise i have some props already here at home just because i collect stuff...lol and slowly will build on a few good props so i can take them on the road. but that's the beauty of growth...i can do this overtime and not all at once.

ok so last but so not least...a photo or 2 to help chase the blues away seeing as winter has hit with a vengeance. i'm sitting here multi tasking with a heater under the desk keeping me nice and warm...lol...it's blooming freezing!

oh and btw for any locals reading this...i'm available for photo sessions now and am up and running. i have a special on this month...check out my website here for pricing and all that goes with that. the specials are for the month of june only and i do have a couple of spots left for photo sessions for sate 25th and sun 26th of this month. bookings have been filling fast so if you or anyone else you know is interested please contact me.

what's not to like about the above............................................................................................................

ciao and hugs, chris xoxo

Yay it's done it's finally done!

I can't believe I finally got out there on Thursday and did the bulk of my Christmas shopping. Not only is most of it done but now I can sit back and relax that apart from Grace's birthday shopping (23rd of Dec) and the stocking stuffers I am done and for me this year that has been a huge achievement.

Oh and did you want to "hear" some exciting news?! Yeh you did, ok then here we go. A few months ago Lance's tv simply stopped working. Now to those of you out there thinking yeh so just replace it and we'll be fine, well we simply couldn't afford to and so Lance kinda took over our main tv in the lounge watching all HIS fave shows etc etc which has caused some difficulties for the rest of us.

Anyway his case manager and psychiatrist found out, decided that because of Lance's many difficulties and the impact it has on the family, that he needed his own space within his room and his own tv. A funding application had to be made, put in for approval further up the line and if approved we would be funded a new tv. Guess what..... the approval took about a week and we received that funding yesterday and Lance is the new owner of a flash new 32"LCD TCL tv. How awesome is that and already he has set up his DVD player and XBOX and even his computer can be connected to it and just in one day it has made the hugest difference. So a huge thank you to our health system here because with that small amount of funding it has made the biggest difference. Oh and there are a number of extra digital channels he can access too, something like an extra 19 ....not bad 'eh! Check it out below!

L32E9AD 32' (81cm) Integrated High Definition LCD

Features
Built in HD tuner
8 ms response time
3000:1 Contrast Ratio
Viewing Angle 178º (H) 178º (V)
Resolution (pixels): 1366 x 768
Colour: 16.7 Million
Stereo
3 x HDMI Version 1.3a, YPbPr, VGA
S-Video Input
AV input
Parental control/Child Lock
Wall mountable (bracket not included)
Teletext DTV
Analogue tuner
CEC control simple to connect with DVD etc
Super power saver( standby < 1 W)
Hotel lock
3 Year Warranty

PURE AWESOMENESS!!!

I am now starting to look at high level care nursing homes for my grandmother. There are 7 of them for me to inspect of which 2 I have already made an appointment for next week with those I need to and once fully done 5 of them will be put down as preferences and we wait for a bed from those 5 to come up and then move her to her new home. All the paper work, the assessments, all the legal documents and the difficulty with it all as mum still wishes to maintain being her full time carer and power of attorney but doesn't want to do anything she needs to, has to or is responsible for. That makes things extremely difficult in any legal matter. So we do what we can with the Doctor and Social Worker who are there helping me with what's necessary.

Oh and guess what? We have finally put up the tree. It went up last Saturday and stayed naked until I found some time to pop the decs on it but slowly it is coming together and I just need to add a few more along with an angel topper and all will be done, promise I'll take a pic when it's finished!

Well I think that's it for today but how 'bout that pure visual in Lance's new TV?!.....total awesomeness!!!! Ok take care, stay safe and until next bloggin' be cool, hugs Chris xoxo

Yay I finally scrapped!

Credits

Yes can you believe it....I have scrapped and darn well proud of it too. This LO was created using the new I See the Sea Collab Kit over at La-Di-Da Studios with a few other little goodies from there thrown in as well. I personally love the touches of red...but then it's one of my fave colours anyway.

Life is flat out but then when isn't it and Tim and I are off to visit his parents so a quick post and till next blogging take care and stay safe. Hugs Chris xoxo

Creative chaos and all things hectic!

Ever feel like you live on another planet? Well if you answered yes then welcome to my world!
Every day seems a whirlwind, every moment chaotic and every morning I get out of bed I surprise myself that I still am!

Today I managed to bring grown women to tears (including myself) who share a similar experience as I do......looking after a child who has an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Today I attended my first Autism Support Group meeting here in Bendigo and although my very intention was to sit and listen, take note in new surroundings, learn of others in similar situations, slowly pace myself, crawl before I walked, walked before I ran, I found myself to be the very opposite when they all asked me about my son Lance and our struggle in everyday life with him before diagnosis and the here and now since his diagnosis of autism some 2 months or so ago.

Just like me they were shocked to hear and learn it had taken so many years for our son Lance who mind you just turned 17 on Monday (15th) to be finally diagnosed with a lifelong neurological learning disability - Autism and that he indeed suffers with depression, severe anxiety and has learning and communication difficulties just to name a few.

Today I felt that I was able to sit, share and talk with all these other amazing and incredible mums who not only know exactly what it means to have a child on the autism spectrum but the difficulties and complexity of such a diagnosis, the impact it has on everyday life for not only the child but the family as well. Life will never be normal for the Turnbull family.

So ok it's been a while since my last blog but life has been somewhat hectic, oh and that in itself is an understatement. Since my last blog posting on the 2nd Lance had an EEG to check out some sort of seizures he has been having. Hopefully we find out the results of that next Monday. Tim and I with Lance were asked to go in to CAMHS to visit with one of Lance's assessors last week - this psycologist and talk to us about the diagnosis and listen to our journey with Lance his whole life completely undiagnosed and then begin to tell us that Lance is a high support needs child and they will put in place everything he needs and with some things he has become a priority. Appointment at the high school for Stephanie to sort out her course selection for next year -yr 9 and get that underway, completed, filed and signed off. Dealing with Lance and the aftermath of a massive meltdown and blowout last week. Another doctor's appointment for Lance yesterday with more health issues, ultrasound today, results next week on top of seeing his paediatrician Monday. Never ever a dull moment here...ohhh and that's without normal life, raising 3 other children, dealing with school camps this week, my own appointments, family visitors this past weekend, school difficulties with Maddison and his difficulties with his visual impairment, trying to implement strategies and plans for Lance and dealing with NETschool and coming to the realisation that Lance is not coping as well as we would like him to.

OH and let me tell you that it was mine and Tim's 22nd wedding anniversary on the 6th, Lance's 17th birthday on Monday (15th) and my mother's birthday yesterday (Wed 17th) and it is Maddison's 13th birthday tomorrow (19th)! Happy Anniversary and Happy Birthday guys and gals!!!

So that's my lot, anyone want it? Nah didn't think so......lol, however I could seriously do with a clone!

While I have you here though I have managed to scrap a LO or 2 or 3 or more....ohhh yeh they are far and few between at the moment but still when I can I will. This one is for the latest Hodge Podge Challenge here over at the Hodge Podge Art Blog in which you are all invited to join in. Tara invited me on very short notice and although it was one of the quickest LO's ever done......lol it was finished in record time and has been up over on their blog ever since, I am only getting about uploading it into my own personal galleries. Such is life!

Hip Chic

Credits

......and this one below too!

{huh}

Credits

....and last but not least (for tonight anyway)

Old Building

Credits

Ok so that should take care of the creative chaos and there are a few more CT LO's ready to go but you know, I think I'll leave that till next time. Till then blogging buddies, take care, stay safe and be true to yourself! Hugs Chris xoxo

There's so much too say and so little time!

Well that's how I feel anyway and I still haven't had a chance to fully finish my blog but it will have to do till I have some much needed time to work on it a little more and finish it. Life is still a little chaotic at the moment although I somehow think that won't change too much in the near future and we just go with the flow of it all as only one can.

Good news...Tim is so much better, his depression is pretty much out of here and he is just dealing with his anxiety which is part and parcel of having a breakdown but we are working on it day by day and he is now able to do a little more then just stay within the walls of our home which is a huge step forward and I am feeling somewhat calmer myself because of it.

More good news...we had out very 1st meeting on Friday with Lance's school to deal with his autism. Attending the meeting was his school coordinator, his case manager, Lance, Tim and I. We talked with his coordinator on what autism is, Lance's own journey with autism, what was needed for Lance and what everyone who dealt with Lance needed to know to best implement the help Lance so desperately needs. What will be implemented is an integration aide, support aids (one in particular will be a laptop to help him with his writing skills because of the difficulties there) and we did try to enforce visual aids because Lance needs them but the school coordinator said because this was a senior school there was no way they would be implemented which I must say as much as I understand the reasoning behind it once again it also hit home that everything in life is orientated towards those of us who are neurotypical and not those of us with special needs and disabilities. Anyway he will undergo another IQ assessment this time with the school psychologist asap and reports will be sent to the school from the autism assessment center and CAMHS here in Bendigo to get this ball rolling as soon as possible. We will be changing his total school curriculum and with much thought and total cooperation with his school we have all decided that this will start as of next year when everyone else starts fresh as it would be too detrimental to Lance and his well being if we decided to do it now and we can prepare him for that over a longer period of time so it's much easier for him to manage the change. I'm sure there will be many steps backwards for Lance so he can move forward with a more positive outlook and approach with all the help he will need.

You know my husband read something from a book last night and I will quote it here.

Point to Ponder
I have heard that some folk have difficulty with the giving of a label. 'We are all different', they say. 'Labels separate and can make "difference" a noted factor that might mean "discrimination". Well. I must say that if the baked beans in my cupboard were not labelled differently to the tins of cat food, then I would not know how to encounter these foods appropriately! I think labels are useful.
(ref - Understanding and Working With the Spectrum of Autism. An Insider's View. Wendy Lawson, pg 64)

Wendy herself was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in adulthood.

Could you imagine going to the supermarket and every item there had no label?! Or even your own pantry or food cupboard?! How would you feel? You would become confused, frustrated, disorientated and possibly angry because you would not be able to make out the difference between the items and therefore you would not know what to buy.

Imagine the frustrations, confusion and anger Tim and I have felt over the years when the early intervention officer that took on Lance's case when he was just 3 yrs of age first mentioned it was possible that he was autistic but 2 years later with 2 years of speech therapy and other things put into place she decides the he was now fine and they would close his file and that was that. He starts school, is a mess and no-one could work out why. He continues on, suffers with depression and plenty of meltdowns, is labeled with ADHD sometime further on, then in yr 7 his teacher mentions to me that he thought Lance was autistic because there were just so many similarities in the autistic kids he worked with prior to working at the high school and he saw them in Lance.

We took that to his case manager back then and she refused to listen and said that there was no way Lance was autistic. Funny how things turn out hey because when Lance's diagnosis was made official a couple of weeks ago and that he indeed was autistic all you can think about was what you had been through all these years and that all these years we had been right. Indeed Lance did have autism and the so called "experts" got it so terribly wrong.

So having no label or indeed the wrong label can cause more harm then you could ever think possible. Imagine being told that your son was normal....there was nothing wrong with him despite the long list of difficulties he presented or how about this one.....we think the parents are too blame for their son and the way he is......an all too familiar story yes? Oh how much Tim and I can relate to this because it has happened to us far too many times and all we could question was how is it possible when our other 3 children were not like Lance. Seems silly how they could never answer that one. Having the right diagnosis or the right "label" allows you to become fully educated and with that knowledge, understanding and power you can then help your child in every aspect of his/her life.

For Tim and I (and the rest of the family) we have started a new journey. We now have a diagnosis and because of that we have researched, read many books, watched DVDs and asked many questions about all things concerning autism and Lance fits into the spectrum perfectly. We have started to understand our son and who he is. We are no experts in autism, but we are experts in our son and our mission (for want of a better word) is to continue on this journey and learn as much as we can about autism and to be our son's advocate in every way we can. We will continue to learn and by thus doing so we hope that we can make some small difference in this neurotypical world of ours for those that are on the Spectrum of Autism which now includes our son Lance.

So what's new well seeing as I have been pretty sick for thepast 3 weeks and have only just come good this past day or so I am desperately trying to catch up with so much including my scrapping forums and sites. Check this awesome collab kit out by Tara and Ann-Marie pretty darn funky I say but then hey I'm also bias. Funky Chickadee is available at Tara Dunstan Designs and Pickleberrypop.

And here is my CT LO for Tara using this fabulicious kit. Gorgeous ha!!!! Well I think so anyway!

Credits

Ok well I think that about suns it up for today so until next blogging, stay safe, take care and tell someone how much you love them. Hugs Chris xoxo

Latest layout.

Yes I actually managed another LO mainly using Faer Oaks Choco-Chic Kit along with a few other bit'n'bobs you can read the list of credits here. The photo was taken by DD Grace who is 14, and this is one of her best buds Alysha. She has started her photography class this term and the funny thing is that these photos are amongst several taken some weeks back before she started the course so this makes me think she's a natural. :) Unlike me who would love to be :(

Just a quick blog today with a little update on Lance. He sees a cardiologist on Monday the 30th of this month at 10:15 am so we are so thankful that we have been able to get in so much earlier than the previous appointment date which was on the 14th of September. Who knows perhaps the specialist will find something and perhaps he won't but the main thing is to rule in or out anything heart related at this stage. So all good news for now. Ok 'nuf from me while I get back to some sort of designing...right now I've hit a brick wall......lol

Awesome new stuff!

Woohoo I have some new goodies in the POP SHOP and so without further ado here they are!

Old Box Creations - Material Flowers Set One

Old Box Creations - Material Flowers Set Two
Just Graph It Paper Pack
Just Grunge It Paper Pack
Now onto some awesome layouts created by my awesome CT girls.

Created by JustDee.... credits
Created by Di....creditsCreated by Di.... creditsCreated by Di....credits

Created by Di....credits

created by scrapastrophe....credits

created by joshi_82....credits to come
Created by sharuth....credits to come

Aren't they fantastic LO's?! I truly think so. Anyway I guess that's it for now short and sweet but certainly worthwhile.

Until next blogging....take care, stay safe and keep smiling.

Ciao Chris XX