Shabby Miss Jenn

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Bring on a miracle I say!

So here is my latest CT LO for La-Di-Da Studios (Tara Dunstan Designs) completed sometime last week from memory and very late at night hummmm actually in the wee hours of the morning in the dark and the quiet. The photo is of my DD Stephanie at dads funeral on the 10th of October, just a little over 5 weeks ago now and I still find it hard that he is actually gone.

Life just doesn't slow down for us these days and last Thursday Lance was finally admitted into hospital into the acute psychiatric unit because he was no longer able to function in any capacity and none of his meds were working. It was the scariest, most gut wrenching and heart breaking thing to do but it was desperate because he was in serious crisis in a serious way. After a difficult 24 hours of tears and frustration and escaping, Lance finally started to settle on Friday and by Saturday/Sunday we saw I peace and calm in him that we have not seen in a very long time. After having a good weekend he was discharged last night and is now home.

For those of you who haven't caught up with the news.... Lance is 17, autistic and dealing with multiple diagnoses. Not only is he autistic but also has an anxiety/panic disorder, depression, presumed coronary artery spasm and it now looks like he has epilepsy. As you can imagine each diagnosis is complex in it's own right but add them all together and wow we have serious issues and complications and when meds start to do the unthinkable.....not work, we are then in serious trouble.

There is still a long road to travel and in no way will it be easy with its bumps in the way some small and some large but we have crisis plans in place now and every health department in Bendigo (Psych and CAT services, CAMHS, DHS, Carer's Support, Home Assessment Care, Interchange and the list goes on) know our son by now and so that in itself in many ways as scary as it may sound is a comfort that so many departments are helping with much more to come over the coming months.

News on our youngest son Maddison who is 13......we have been dealing with some pretty heavy things with him as well and because he is also visually impaired (Best's Vitelliform Dystrophy) so many of his learning difficulties have been hidden under that banner until this year. He is now seeing the paediatrician and it is looking more and more like ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). He is struggling with all his language based subjects, his speech is slurred (something that has been happening and getting worse this year) and finding school very difficult. We hope to have him assessed to see whether or not he has autism but more on the milder side as the paediatrician thinks. Who knows when this will be but he is on the CAMHS waiting list and that's all we can do is wait. He is on a months trial with meds for ADD and so time will tell.

My dear grandmother is still in hospital after 3 weeks. She is 95 and suffers with dementia and as of last Saturday I have been left in charge of her as my mum decided to go on a "holiday" for a month because she felt she could not deal with things as they were any longer. I could say more here but I won't and the reality that my dear nanna has deteriorated since she has a serious fall some 2 weeks ago, is in rehab, is meant to go into respite next week which I have to sort out and organise and her memory both short and long term is a mess. So tomorrow I sit down with her doctors and the recommendation I do believe will be that she now needs to go into permanent care. I know that I do not want her going home to mum if mum ever comes home and I know it is time to put her in a place that can take good care of her. There is no way my mum could take care of her now and mum has not been coping with looking after her for quite some time now. Just in the past 3 days nanna has deteriorated even worse and she doesn't even remember what she had for tea 5 minutes after she has eaten it let alone having to keep reminding her of who I am but I love her dearly and the decisions the doctors and staff make with me will be in the best interests of nanna now.

So you can see even in our own crisis with our son Lance, his struggle to get through each day and make some sense of it without self harming, more and more is heaped upon us everyday. In a time when I am holding so many people up......God grant me the strength I need to keep going, the courage to manage all that I do and the peace and calm so necessary in times of difficulty where there is no option but to do what I have to. Bring on a miracle I say.

Till next blogging guys stay safe and take care. Hugs Chris xoxo


Amandac said...

Chris you are seriously the strongest and bravest person I know - you are frankly an amazing person {hugs}

The Buzybee Hive said...

Chris I want you to know IT was a very brave thing to do. I know that it was not an easy decison to make. My son was diagnosed with bipolar at age 13. It has been a long 5 years. We knew longer than that that something wasnt right but he became increasingly violent and dnagerous and harder for us to deal with. He was hurting us and himself. Since that time He has had 8 hospitaliziations mostly due to not being on the right medications. One time was because he was going through a growth spurt and needed his dose regulated changed to Extended relase and regulated. Looking back one thing I would do differently is I wished that we wouldnt have isolated ourselves so much. We with drew from people in our congregation. We still were around them but we didnt talk to them about what was going on at home. So no one really knew or understood. How could they and how could I ask that they do. Only someone that has been there really know what it is like to see some one go through this everyday and know the true impact it has on the family as a whole. Stay strong and hang in there. Be supportive and you are doing the what is best for Lance. My heart and prayer are with you and your family. ~ Penny AKA: Buzybee@ Buzybee Designs

Yahoo id: Buzybee