Chris's Ramblings

happy new year...

2012-01-11T21:38:00.000+11:00

wow...i feel i've fallen off the planet in full when it comes to blogging. this is the longest stretch ever i have not posted a blog update and i look at the last time i did so back in october 2011 and realise in those few months how things have moved forward for my family and i in such a positive direction sometimes i need to pinch myself. i'm not dreaming this is real!!!

now let's see if i can catch all my followers up to speed with everything.

grace got her p's and is so independent we rarely see her it feels
our family is moving forward well and all is stable so because of this tim is able to go back to work full time and has
tim started back to work full time after a nine year spell helping me raise our 4 kids - 3 with autism, other disorders, our 2 youngest asd kids also visually impaired and losing their sight to a rare genetic disorder called Best's Vitelliform Dystrophy
grace was accepted for her diploma of nursing and cert iv in disability and has chosen to do the cert iv in disability first then work her way up and through her diploma of nursing. grace starts her course next monday
steph enrolled into yr 12 and will be doing her vce over a 2 yr period. pretty awesome seeing as it took all of 2011 with additional support to settle into a new school (bendigo senior is for yr 11 and 12) and a completely new everything
isaac is managing so much better and we did actually enrol him into homeschooling and he was accepted. however now that tim is back at work full time and was isaac's mentor and tutor we may have to leave that option and just wait till he is older for another school option as a mature aged student
the 1st case study and notes on steph and isaac and their eyes and treatment has been published and we have a copy. apparently they are still case studies and a 2nd paper is being written
lance bought his 1st car - a vt holden commodore and is very quickly becoming mr.independent
my photography is now a business with the name chris turnbull photography registered and my abn being reinstated
service providers and agencies throughout victoria have either heard of me or have me listed in their own directories or both after families who have booked photo sessions with me (these are families that have children with autism and other additional and special needs) were so stoked with the entire process that they've let their early intervention workers know, teachers at playgroups, kinder, creche, school etc know, their autism advisor's from autism victoria (now trading as amaze) know , other specialists and the list just goes on and on and on. all impressed and all excited to let families and others know about chris turnbull photography and i am completely overwhelmed by it all

i think that may just do it for the 1st post of 2012 so until next blog update and i will make sure it won't be so long inbetween...take care. hugs chris xoxo

blogger issues...

2011-10-13T20:46:00.000+11:00

so it would appear that blogger, google+ and picassa are having issues that for some time have not been resolved. i know i'm not alone here when i say that many images uploaded to our blogs have completely disappeared and left behind is an ugly black box with an exclamation mark. blogger is aware of this issue and apparently so are the other 2 and going into forums and doing a little research it seems to coincide with google+ being rolled out.

so i'm not alone and my blog is looking worse for wear and so are many other blogs right across the globe. a fix!!! not as yet and there may not be one as the images seem to be lost. i have been blogging for a lot of years and alot of my images although not all are gone. so i'm not sure what to do about it except keep looking into it, how do you go through years of images uploaded and try and replace them.

it's actually very disappointing and quite dishearting to say the least. all those precious images are gone and i started this blog in 2006. so please excuse the uglyness and all i can hope for is that the latest blog updates complete with images are left alone. so i will apologise to all of you that come my way for all those ugly boxes where an image should be and isn't. i will also have to put in a complaint to blogger and see what comes from it if anything.

until then i will leave you with these images my latest collection you can find on facebook here. they are for sale for anyone interested in purchasing them. i am only doing australian residents only however if you are from overseas and wish to order i can find out how much they may cost to ship.

if your interested in ordering please contact me at christurnbullphotography@gmail.com.

short and sweet and until next time, ciao and hugs xoxo

school holidays...

2011-09-27T22:02:00.000+10:00

yes the school holidays are on us once again and today is our 1st week and 2nd day. i will be the first to admit i love school holidays and spending much needed time with my kids and hubby and so we are. today lance went fishing with a mate and caught 5 fishies, none came home as both guys just like to fish, catch and then let them go which is wonderful. grace obviously went shopping...lol online because i get a knock at the door with the postie bearing gifts...just not for me and totally had no idea what or where they were from of course until i saw the name...yup grace turnbull not anyone else...the joys of a teen with no responsibilities hey!!! steph slept in...till late and think rose sometime this arvo lol then complained about being bored, washed grace's car and tim, grace, steph and isaac all went for a drive leaving me here at home almost by myself (lance was in his unit) and loved every moment of bliss! then of course isaac, online gaming, played with our dog cora and of course went for a drive.

i managed to sort through our lounge and organise a little of the decor as we haven;t had a chance to do that since we painted. however i was restless today and realised just how much i really can multi task...lol uploaded an album on my facebook page with prints for sale so we'll see how that goes over time as i add more images from my personal gallery. i would love for you to take a sticky and check them out and please if you or anyone else you know may be interested in purchasing then let me know and you can do that by messaging me on facebook, leaving a message under the print/s you're after or email me at christurnbullphotography@gmail.com

our vegie area is coming along really well and we will end up with 3...yep!!! one is the compost area, the enclosed area where i am growing the actual vegies and of course tim is yet to create a new pumpkin and spud patch...all 3 need to be cora lee turnbull doggie proof. man that dog is happy creating a mess...we're use to it and will be very grateful when she grows up a little...she's 18 months or so now and there's still a little while before she's out of the puppy stage.

c.j our 13 yr old staffy is still bravely plodding along but we need to seriously look at being kind and put her down. cushings disease is nasty and she's at the end of it but she is not doing so well at all. all 3 cats are still cheeky and mischievous....oh wait is that the kids...all 4 of them....hummmmmm anyway yes all 3 cats bluey (real name is little puss), tilly and mini (real name apparently is winree - however winree is spelt) and talk about them being in charge....my goodness do they rule the house.

although there are no booked photo sessions at the moment i am hoping to get out and about downtown and take some random shots of bendigo. i've been wanting to do that for awhile but with time, commitments and being sick for the past week or more...hasn't been possible. so i'm making sure it is over these school holidays.

before i finish up i thought i would post some images from 2 more recent photo shoots. enjoy!

the images above are carefully edited and fully customised for my families. each family when they book a session with me and then order their prints have the option of a one off image like the above. remember if you would like to book in a photo session...contact me. ciao and hugs, chris xoxo

starting out...

2011-09-25T18:14:00.001+10:00

3 months ago due to demand i started chris turnbull photography. offering quality and affordable photo sessions for families and of course children. specialising in those that have additional and special needs such a autism spectrum disorders. i thought i might take some time out and reflect on how things are and of course blog about it.

i can't believe that 3 months have come and gone in what feels like a very short time and we're heading ever closer to christmas. i come at my photography probably very differently to many others in the 'business'. as a mum of 4 teens - 3 of my own kids have autism, they also have other disorders and the 2 youngest are visually impaired with a progressive blind disease that is incurable and basically means they will lose their sight. it's not a question of if but when!!!

believing that we need to document the negative/challenging/difficult along with the positive/inspirational/easier parts of our journey in life is partly how i approach photography. posed or unposed...i prefer the natural look, the natural environment, the unposed look to that of a child or adult for that matter. the other approach i have is that our lives are a journey we are on, documenting that journey both good and bad and everything inbetween is incredibly important...once again part of my approach to what i bring to photography.

it is not only important to me as a person, wife, mum, carer and photographer to give others the same opportunity to document their journey and be part of that in some way but it needs to be with compassion, understanding, acceptance and acknowledgement that whether you have a child or not with additional or special needs, whether or not you have loved ones with additional or special needs and whether or not you are indeed that wonderful person who has additional or special needs...you are important, your child is important, your loved one is important and you are all valuable human beings.

my own experiences over the years with different professionals, business people etc etc has been interesting. when asked whether they know or understand autism and they answer yes...you delve a little deeper and with a little hope you allow them into your own life giving them all the benefit of the doubt until your appointment or meeting and you realise they know nothing and you have put yourself and your child at risk.

i was determined i would not allow that to come my way again and more importantly i was determined my kids would not have to deal with that kind of attitude as much as possible within this society and culture we live in. i remember all too clearly the times my son would come away from a hairdressers appt after meeting with them and them clearly saying they would be able to look after him because they understood autism and would be able to work with and support him. i also remember the time this happened for the first time and on the way home from the appt my son threw himself out of our moving vehicle because that hairdresser did not get it right, did not understand, did not take into consideration that he had autism. i know, i was there and i knew it would end up in disaster...it almost did!

time and time again this happened with my kids...time and time again we soon learnt that unless that person had a child on the spectrum themselves...they really didn't understand...how could they!

too many times family after family would share their terrible experiences with me with the day to day challenges they faced for some of the most basic things that to the unknown...take us parents, our children and those around us sometimes months to plan, teach, support and help for our child to manage. the act or attitude of one person can make all the difference of whether it can be a success or not. far too many times it is the latter and far too many times the act or attitude or both with one person can bring undone years and years of hard work.

so getting back to the photography side of things...i offer a professional service with a personal touch. i enjoy every part of what i do and every process. it's early days yet and i gave myself 12 months, word of mouth is a great advertising resource and tool and so is facebook and all the social media that it allows. i don't just offer my services to families that have additional and special needs children and loved ones and in fact half of my clients are those that don't have these challenges.

if you're after a quality yet affordable photo session and live in the bendigo or surrounding areas or a little further out as i am willing to travel, please contact me. you can do so by popping over to my website at www.christurnbullphotography.com or my facebook bus page at chris turnbull photography or email me at christurnbullphotography@gmail.com.

until next we meet...ciao and hugs chris xoxo

life in the fast lane...

2011-09-09T21:18:00.000+10:00

amazing how the title of a new blog post can hit you in an instant or leave you pondering and thinking what the heck to title your latest blog post with forever and a day. for me finding that just like facebook...blogger has changed things around a little in here as well all in the name of progress and making things 'simpler'! only thing is before the change i thought things were fine anyway...apparently not! anyhoo enough about updates, progress and simple things in life right? nope not really that's why we bloggers blog...to update, keep our followers up to date with out progress and as hard as we try...try to keep things simple in life because dang it...life is darn hectic as it is!

this week has been fruitful but exhausting, positive but exhausting, moving forward but exhausting and i've decided i need a secretary or better still perhaps a clone. although hubby thinks one of me is enough there are many days i might just agree with him but having 2 of me would be quite useful. the real one of me would do all the things i want to do and the other one of me would do all the things i don't want to do....clear as mud! i thought so!

so i just wanted to say this...on tuesday the 6th of this month (september 2011 for those that are a little unsure ;) ), hubby and i celebrated our silver wedding anniversary. yep we've been married 25 years would you believe and would you believe we've known each other since hubby was 11. that is awhole lot of years because we're both in our 40's i being a tad older then he and he being a tad younger then me. we have overcome obstacles like you wouldn't believe and i can tell you now most couples would have walked out, ended the relationship, separated, divorced and basically opted out with the things we've encountered, been dealt with, been accused of, had our names slandered all over the place, lied about...oh and don't get me started on the rest.

i'm not here to dwell on the negative although it would be easy enough to do, in fact without tim...i'd be nothing, lost, completely insane (i'm pretty much there now) and i don't even wanna think about life without him or the kids. there are times in life we must pick our battles, give priority to what's really important and choose to live according to our values and our beliefs and not particularly those of others. i'm eternally grateful for what i have. i'm forever thankful that god continues to watch over our family and his blessings are there daily.

life is what we make it, there are obstacles to overcome no matter who we are, no matter where we're from. we come across the most wonderful people ever, some just passing, others who stay awhile and then there are those that are life time soul mates...tim is mine. love ya heaps!!!

hugs chris xoxo

life as we know it...

2011-08-31T15:37:00.004+10:00

it has been a completely hectic and busy time for us here in the turnbull household and so too keep up sometimes i need to take a step back so i personally can continue. no i'm not really any super mom or wife or person, i'm just me doing the best i can within the limited confines and circumstances i find myself to be in.

last time i blogged i was heading to the kids market central vic with my very first stall. how did i go? well for me it was about displaying my work...yes my photography in all it's art form and letting families know i'm out there. time will tell with how i have gone as i had a special for the day for those that came and took a flyer and booked in a session for the month of september and october. no bookings on the day and we're only just heading towards the start of september now. however it was truly wonderful to network with other businesses and feel the vibes of the day. there was certainly alot of interest in my work and both flyers and business cards went out the door.

this past saturday and sunday i worked...oh no i didn't work i played...lol yes i had 2 photo sessions. one photo session was a young boy out on their family farm just out of town (about 30 mins) and the other a local family i've now known for awhile. so i'm busy editing clients images as i blog (taking a break) and although the *sneak peek* for both families are now done and uploaded to my facebook page here at chris turnbull photography i'm yet to finish each gallery for previewing although working on it.

and with that thought in mind...i'll love ya and leave ya with a little glimpse into each photo session from the weekend.

photo session from saturday out on the family farm of young callum with his dog tess who gave birth to 14 puppies about 1.5 weeks ago with 1 dying and 13 healthy puppies doing well. of course one of the roosters from the farm was on show as well strutting his stuff.

little sneak peek of the family photo session from sunday. all brothers with 2 of them on the autism spectrum. top photo is young rhylan who has autism, middle photo is logan who is neurotypical and then the last photo is of bryson who has asperger's syndrome.

remember if you're looking for quality and affordable photo sessions and packages within the city of greater bendigo area (although will also now travel outside of town (within reason) for photo shoots) contact me. i can also (but not solely) cater and accommodate for families who have children and loved ones with additional and special needs such as autism spectrum disorders etc.

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hugs chris xoxo

kids market central vic...

2011-08-12T23:27:00.000+10:00

excited...yes i am because i've booked my first stall at the kids market central vic for the 20th august. i'll be displaying some of my photos and offering a 'market day' special for those that book a photo session on the day. i've got my prints in order, ideas for display, business cards, banner is on it's way and flyers just need to be finalised.

i'm hoping for plenty of folk to stop by and say hi and i'm hoping to meet some wonderful stall holders as well. not too many sleeps left and it's busy busy busy. so for local folk...spread the word and for those that are heading up to bendigo on the day, make sure you pop the kids market on your agenda and stop on by, there is going to be loads happening with about 90 stall holders and heaps of fun for the kids too.

anyhoo short and simple tonight, the weekend is here and it's been a really tough week for this family so i'm looking forward to the weekend spent recharging and pottering about home taking some much needed time out.

see you at the market, hugs chris xoxo

august...

2011-08-01T15:01:00.000+10:00

wow can you believe today is the first day of august, first day of the last month of winter and it's almost spring...yes that season that is simply gorgeous us only one month away although the weather of late makes me think spring has possibly sprung a little early. blossom is already out, gorgeous wattle and it kinda smells like spring too. of course the obvious sign that spring has hit a little early is the fact that i've started spring cleaning and haven't quite worked out any other reason behind this weird and odd behaviour of mine...lol

anyhoo it's been quiet the past 3 weeks or so with photography...the weather (a negative when it comes to having on location photos taken) isn't the best for photo shoots and so as it starts to warm up i'm hoping that the bookings will also take off a little too.

today is going to be a short and simple post in amongst everything else on my to do list this week. yes one of them was to blog and so here it is...my next post. can you believe that we have less then 5 months till christmas....scary as!!!! i'm hoping to be more organised this year then i was last year or even the year before. i love christmas with all it's trimmings i just dislike it when it creeps up so quickly and then announces to the world it's here way before i got a chance to realise it.

but i'm ready for it this year....very ready and this time i'm not letting it arrive unannounced...nope not this time ;)

ok well now that i've started talking christmas, probably secretly being told to hush up by my followers here's a recent photo. oh and pop on over and like my fb photog page....i'm on facebook here. share the love and spread the word and for all those local folk out there looking to have photos done contact me.

love my girl, love the look, love those huge brown eyes, love this image. hugs and ciao for now, chris xoxo

chris turnbull photography...

2011-07-25T21:55:00.000+10:00

it's been awhile so i thought it was time to blog and this time i decided to blog a little about photography and more in particular about me and my photography. i wanted to share with fellow bloggers my passion that keeps me going, is my therapy, is my favourite all time thing...after the hub and kids of course and the fact that i ♥ it like crazy.

i have to admit i've always loved photography but i haven't always been a photographer, nope not at all. life and it's distractions certainly gave me priorities over interests, hobbies and such. over the years i've tried my hand at many hobbies, interests and likes and over the years i've come to realise that when i did all those projects...guess what was present at most of them apart from me? a camera, yes a camera to take photos of all those projects i've created year after year after year after year...amazing what you think about it.

now i'm not a smile, click, snap and print kinda photographer and let's face it not too many are and i'd be horrified if a photographer was. just like in the dark room days, images have been manipulated, tweaked and worked on to create those perfect images. in our time or the digital slr...the dark room is still just as important however it's in a different format and usually in the likes of a software such as photoshop.

recently i've stumbled across peoples comments on other photographers pages that have made me laugh and it's usually something along the lines of..."great photos must have a great camera to create those images"...and i laugh because although it's important to have a decent camera and let's face it even many of our point and shoots are, the person behind the camera is the one pretty darn good at what they do...ever heard the saying it's all in the eye of the beholder? this couldn't be more truer then that of any artist...in this case a photographer.

were picasso or monet great artists because of their tools and equipment? i don't think so, their talent came from within, they grew, studied, painted, learnt but their very talent came from within, the very heart and soul of who they were at the time and what they gave to the world. i'm sure their tools certainly had a place but it wasn't the tools that created those works of art, it was the artists themselves.

now before i finish up remember to check out my website chris turnbull photography it has images, info and all sorts of goodies on it. prices for photo sessions which are very affordable so if you after a photo session booking please contact me. don't forget that as a parent with teens that have additional and special needs myself, due to the fact 3 of them have autism amongst other disorders, i am also able to cater, help and support other families and individuals who find themselves in the same situation with photo shoots. it is possible with the right understanding, patience, support and acceptance.

anyhoo i thought i would share the latest impromptu mini session with my gorgeous girl steph...

ok so there you have them...sit back and enjoy oh and a little bit about steph...she is 17 and has autism, suffers with extreme anxieties, depression and is visually impaired and is progressively losing her sight thanks to best's vitelliform dystrophy a rare genetic eye disease that kills the cells. along with her younger brother isaac who happens to have autism, adhd and best's vitelliform dystrophy too which hubby has as well both steph and isaac are famous...well their eyes are anyway, they are both case studies and papers are being written up about them and their eyes...yay my kids eye's are famous...lol, we find a sense of humour in all things. :)

till next time ciao hugs chris xoxo

midweek ramblings...

2011-07-13T16:36:00.002+10:00

so i'm sitting here at my pc, complete with a nice hot cup of tea that the hub has just made me and a thought crossed my mind...yep it did really and truly...lol now don't get too excited but the thought was simply 'it's time to blog'!!! boring as right?

but seriously it is time to blog and let you know we are indeed surviving the school holidays. YES!!! second week here already and being wednesday already the school holidays have been flat out with one thing or another. i even managed to stop all major appointments for this time so imagine how chaotic it would be if i hadn't.

the 1st week...well that was just busy running all over the place, catching up with things here and recharging but my goodness was it busy. this week i have to say i need to ask myself 'what day is it?' because it's just all become a bit of a blur.

we started working on the lounge room, it was time, something we wanted to do before the end of the year. yes it's time for a little make over. we have cathedral ceilings in the lounge, dining and kitchen with the rest of the house normal ceilings and normal height. although i painted our home about 12.5 yrs ago, things have changed and purely because my back and the nerves and discs that continue to bug me rather painfully whenever they feel like it now won't allow me to climb a ladder and even still (because i darn well tried) just not having enough height to get up high. so this is where the hub has come in. he has the job of painting the high ceilings and the rafters and he's started. tomorrow we get more ceiling paint and i am hoping that possibly by next week the ceiling and rafters are done...difficult part over. then onto the walls and then the floor and then the trims. i say next week because we just don't seem to get a break with being able to have a few days where we are not running around or dealing with something that needs to be done. if that were too happen then i'd say easy a full week or 2 and the lounge would be completely done. as it is it's done in dribs and drabs in between running errands and getting on with life as we know it.

i've put in a request to the painting fairies that we need to have the room done asap....it's just going to be a little slow because of the height of ceilings and of course the walls on the higher part. why? well as an on location natural light photographer i want to be able to offer more formal and posed sessions as an option and who wants to be out having their photo taken in the rain, wind and cold or in the heat of the day when it's something like 45 degrees celsius...not me. so by setting up a portable home studio this gives me and my clients both new and existing, the opportunity for more. i've already had interest so hub and i are busy giving our lounge a makeover. thankfully the lounge is a good size and the front door comes off it. we are able to close it off for photo sessions (which i am only having on certain days) and work it quite well.

i have my adjustable back drop system already and need to get creative with some back drops although the very typical but very good black and white backdrops will be available too.

things are moving forward and more importantly in the right direction. for those local folk (and of course everyone else) that follow me on my blog here, my facebook page Chris Turnbull Photography and visit my website often...i would love for your support to continue on. this means the world to me in so many ways and i would love for you to spread the word. ♥

i recently ordered prints both for a photog client and to add to my portfolio as well... ordered thursday night quite late, they arrived first thing monday morning and talk about the wow factor. i cannot wait until my client receives her little package and although not all my clients have ordered prints due to them ordering discs...i took the liberty to order some of their prints to add to my portfolio and they are brilliant. something i am also eager to share with my clients and let them see how well they've turned out.

ok time to sign out and go busy myself with something else...until next time enjoy these pics taken just last weekend. :)

take care, ciao...chris xoxo

another post...

2011-07-03T16:39:00.000+10:00

so soon?! yep because i wanted to share an image i've popped together for one of my families. i simply couldn't help myself. apart from the 'typical' custom edit images i carefully work on one at a time for all my photog clients, they also receive a 'one off' artistic and more creative special image to add to their collection. it can either be part of their package they order or as an 'extra'. so the previous post was one for the most gorgeous kayla and this one is for anthony, rachelle and nate. as i've been bursting at the seams to share...i simply couldn't resist the urge any longer and so here it is.

enjoy ♥♥♥ hugs chris xoxo

zoom...

2011-07-02T23:54:00.000+10:00

yep that was the week that was...it's gone and i feel like i just blogged but according to my last update it was almost a week ago. my oh my this week has been very hectic but it's now saturday evening and i'm sitting here feeling rather restless in need of capturing my thoughts on paper (digitally of course) before heading to bed.

in a week lots can happen...and this week has been one of those weeks. mind you it's no different to any other week and it's no different for anyone else...what very busy and hectic lives we all live! do you ever stop to think about the era we live in? do you ever sit back and take a good hard look at what our society has become, how far we have progressed and yet feel extremely overwhelmed by it all.

the other day i was out in my garden with my dslr camera and panning...yes i was looking at life through the lens of my camera. not quite the same way i do when i take a photo, but literally choosing to see the world around me by looking at it through the lens of my camera and wow...talk about detail!!! i wasn't even taking photos...nope simply seeing life from a different angle, from a different 'viewpoint' and from a different perspective. it's an amazing world out there people...in every creative detail...it's incredible and it's purely wonderful.

i see life through my camera very differently, i capture that very essence and raw emotion in my images and create!!! something i enjoy right through the entire process. every image tells a story, every image is a memory - a moment caught and frozen in time, every image is pure and every image is raw.

that's it folks...short and sweet. oh and the photo above...love it...and kayla my model...totally gorgeous in every way ♥♥♥ hugs chris xoxo

monday in all it's glory...

2011-06-27T16:30:00.000+10:00

or is it??? i have a love hate relationship with certain days of the week and then i have a love hate relationship with mondays...double whammy plus!!! this week i hate today which just so happens to coincide with the fact that it's monday and a very demanding one at that. demanding physically, both emotionally and mentally. why you ask?!!! challenges of a household full of teens, mood swings, hormone roller coaster and demands that under any 'normal' life as we know it is pretty full on...add kids that have disabilities and disorders on top of that and it just throws everything to a greater degree.

trying to juggle and balance life is tough enough...yep i hear ya all agreeing with me...trying to juggle and balance life with what we deal with as family is sometimes pretty darn overwhelming to say the least. but who am i kidding some days just plain and simply suck!!!

however in all the highs and lows of living life there is hope and inspiration and i dwell on those thoughts and ideas and it keeps me happy that no matter what we deserve more then the garbage thrown at us in life and taking back control is certainly something that is well worth every effort, every struggle and every obstacle that's waiting around the corner both good and not so.

a few years back i needed to see a psychiatrist for 12 months plus...he just happened to be one of the best all round and there were many things he taught me. one such thing stands out a mile...no matter how negative one is, no matter how negative all the information coming out verbally or documented is...end on a positive. i have held this close to my heart ever since.

some days particularly those days that are not as fabulous as we would like we need to find the positive within our circumstances no matter how tough one thinks they have it. my positives for today are this:

our daughter steph is doing really well at present and that was relayed back to her psychologist in this mornings appointment. steph has come along way this year and has just started back to full time school as of last week.
last night a neighbour of ours we've known for the past 9 years knocked on our door and after something like a 2 hour chat wanting to thank lance for who he is and how he has helped their 14 yr old daughter manage through some really tough times of recent was pretty remarkable. these guys see lance's difficulties but nevertheless he has been able to support another in need (and they say kids with autism don't have any empathy...lol yeh right!).
i feel that our family is finally moving forward little by little in some areas of our lives. other areas are going to take a little more work, BUT for the first time in a long while i feel that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that we are finally seeing it. that light is called hope, faith, inspiration and love. no service provider and no disability agency can give us that...this is ours, ours to work with, ours to better ourselves with, ours to claim as our very own, but ours to use and inspire others as well.

we all need hope, we all need love, faith and to be inspired, no matter who we are, no matter how we see life, no matter how we belong.

something else i'd like to leave you with is this...life throws us curve balls all the time, it's how we handle those curve balls and how we approach what may appear to be the impossible. sure there's a saying out there that says what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger which is very true however, let's take the negative part out of that and try a different slant...what comes our way and what makes us stronger, allows us to grow and develop and become better for it in such a way thought impossible.

hugs chris xoxo

freezing...

2011-06-21T14:39:00.001+10:00

winter has well and truly hit, it's super freezing!!! the odd thing about it is the sun is shining and if it wasn't for the wind...it would be a gorgeous day. anyway i'm sitting at my computer, blogging while i take a break from 'working' or should that read 'playing' as i work on clients photos. i've just popped a little sneak peek up of the gorgeous family i worked with on sunday. their kids are just so gorgeous...very very very busy but still so very gorgeous.

hey did i mention i know have business cards....yep diddly diddly doo...i sure do and i ordered a couple of pens with chris turnbull photography as well which arrived today. they look great and write well...which is even more important. i like a good pen...in fact i like a great pen not only should it look good, but it should also write and flow well and be super comfortable to hold - yep that's just a pen.

although the preview is fairly blah the real cards look awesome and i have plenty of them.ok so my first 2 photo shoots went well over the weekend which was fairly exciting...i still am. oh and if any locals read this i have 2 photo sessions still available for this weekend (25th and 26th). while i still have the special on which finishes up at the end of the month and you can let me know. you can email me christurnbullphotogaphy@gmail.com

well that's it for now break over and must get back to work. :) but before i leave ya here is a little *sneak peek* from sunday's photo shoot, enjoy!

i'm outta here now...hugs chris xoxo

moving forward...

2011-06-19T22:50:00.001+10:00

as i sit and type this post i'm reminded of so many things that i never thought were possible. the biggest and most incredible one is that life is heading in the right direction!!!

for those of you who've been following me and my blog you'll understand how the past 12+ months have seen my family and i make some of the most difficult but courageous decisions we've ever had to face...let alone make. the journey has been far from easy however one thing stood out for me this weekend...i'm moving forward.

is that a selfish thing or is it beneficial for the entire family? the latter definitely!!! the opportunity to take up photography in the capacity and ability that has come my way has been incredible. this weekend my first 'official' photo sessions took place with 2 most gorgeous families and i was there to be a part of capturing and creating those memories.

my son lance has been quite excited for me that even yesterday he shook my hand and said congratulations mum on working (working yeh right...lol) and you all know lance...he may be almost 20 however he is only that in biological years. when he gets excited he starts rubbing both hands together, takes longer strides, has this ginormous grin and is a little louder then other times but he is heartfelt with it all.

my girls are quite excited and i tend to call on them (when they are able) to be my assistants...which i know they secretly enjoy to a point. of course my youngest isaac...although at times he doesn't speak alot he still communicates (is self mute intermittently for periods of time) and one day not so long ago he said...mum wouldn't it be awesome if you became the most famous photographer in the world?!!! <----- i took that as a huge compliment. although i may never be the most famous photographer in the world, what an awesome thing to hear from isaac.

some times you just need to take a bold step of faith...for me sometimes you just need to feel confident in yourself and i am grateful for all the support i have had over these past few months...amazing and i know this journey is only beginning but it's going to be wonderful!!!

so today...i'm moving forward, something i wasn't expecting and certainly not along the path i'm taking. something i feel quite overwhelmed with and truly humbled by.

god truly is amazing!!!

just a wee sneak peek from yesterdays photo shoot. this is nate. nate belongs to anthony and rachelle. nate is 4 and nate has autism. nate is adorable ♥♥♥

until next bloggin' take care, hugs chris xoxo

short and sweet...

2011-06-15T23:46:00.000+10:00

life is busy...nothing much is different there and it keeps me out of mischief that's for sure. my business cards arrived today...early...i'm not complaining because i was a tad worried that they were still in 'printing process' but nope they're here now. nice and simple which i like and of course works in with my nice and simple approach to all the forms a photographer needs to create and use and anything else. so nicely uniformed!!!

my first pre-session went well today and family photo shoot is set for saturday. my next pre-session is tomorrow with another family and their photo shoot is for sunday. this monday i did a small photo shoot with a young model kayla. she was wonderful to work with and with mum there close by a little less anxious as well.

i also managed several photos at the weekends chrysler car show that came too town and although there are a few photos to still go through the post processing...i can't wait to show them off. i already have one lot up on my website.

anyway a little sneak peek with mondays photo shoot and then i'm calling it a night. :)

ok that's it from me...enjoy, hugs chris xoxo

simple post...

2011-06-11T15:18:00.000+10:00

yep simple post today...although have loads to say...it's a wee bit busy and i just thought i'd take 5 minutes out and do a quick blog update.

it's a long weekend here and i'm enjoying every part of it. right now i'm in the middle of putting some photography welcome packages together for my clients as well as making some more custom handmade CD/DVD sleeves.

for those sharing this long weekend with me...enjoy it and enjoy it well. for me i'm hoping to head off tomorrow downtown as there's a car show on and take photos. then monday i have a photo shoot. so until we cross paths again enjoy the latest batch of photos...

ciao for now...hugs chris xoxo

slowly does it...

2011-06-09T11:44:00.001+10:00

they say it's not always wise to jump into things full on and all in one hit...and i couldn't agree more. sometimes we need to take the bull by the horns so to speak and other times we need to move forward more slowly but certainly more surely. that's been my approach with my photography side of things ever since i purchased my very first dslr about 2.5 years ago and have loved learning and growing in all that time and for much of it purely as a hobby...my hobby...yep that passion of mine that seems to have taken a different journey (as mentioned in previous post) to where i ever expected. i'm overwhelmed but i am ever so grateful that there are people who believe in me, who are supporting and encouraging and who are quite proud of where my photography is heading.

yesterday i received another 2 phone calls in relation to my photography with people wanting to clear a spot on the calenders to fit me in. word apparently is spreading and i'm feeling the love...and i'm excited to say the least.

this week i've fine tuned and finished a whole heap of forms for clients...the general run of the mill paperwork that's needed for every photo session. so i'm pleased i have all that down pat. i'm also in awe of viewing some most gorgeous backdrops and floors from a company too far away in the US. i ♥ all there stuff and goodies. although i don't have a studio i am seriously looking into a possible 'mobile studio' and looking at a mobile backdrop system i can take easily on the road and of course props.....yep i realise i have some props already here at home just because i collect stuff...lol and slowly will build on a few good props so i can take them on the road. but that's the beauty of growth...i can do this overtime and not all at once.

ok so last but so not least...a photo or 2 to help chase the blues away seeing as winter has hit with a vengeance. i'm sitting here multi tasking with a heater under the desk keeping me nice and warm...lol...it's blooming freezing!

oh and btw for any locals reading this...i'm available for photo sessions now and am up and running. i have a special on this month...check out my website here for pricing and all that goes with that. the specials are for the month of june only and i do have a couple of spots left for photo sessions for sate 25th and sun 26th of this month. bookings have been filling fast so if you or anyone else you know is interested please contact me.

what's not to like about the above............................................................................................................

ciao and hugs, chris xoxo

chris turnbull photography...

2011-06-05T14:10:00.015+10:00

it's official...i've just upgraded to my own domain and now christurnbullphotography is all mine. i feel like a kid in a candy shop...somewhat a little overwhelmed and somewhat a little excited!!!

for those of you who have been regularly following me and my blog, particularly of late, will know that slowly i'm developing and growing a little photography business within the city of greater bendigo...yep where i live. over the past 6 or so months i've had a number of families and individuals not only find out about my photography hobby but ask if i would offer photo sessions for families and children.

in the beginning i simply said no however they continued to ask and i found myself in a situation where an opportunity was right in front of me as plain as the nose on my face. the story goes a little something like this...2 months ago the bendigo advertiser contacted me as president of bendigo autism asperger group (BAAG) and asked it we would like to advertise in this years autism awareness feature for the month of april they were putting together. after taking it to the committee with everyone happy, the idea put forth and with a slightly different angle from previous years everything was in place. with this kind of full page advertising we get thrown into the price a newspaper photographer to come and take pics. photo shoot booked, few parents contacted, all permission given and everyone happy i kinda mentioned that i would also bring my camera and if i got time and parents were happy i'd randomly take photos and share them over facebook and have them printed.

what i wasn't counting on was the stories that really broke my heart and when a couple of parents spoke with me previously about the difficulties, i wasn't expecting more of the same. how many parents with cherubs with autism spectrum disorders and other challenges they faced simply did not have many photos of their kids because their kids didn't cope in a 'studio' environment, they weren't able to sit still for long enough or 'pose' for the camera and the stress and anxiety attached to that came at a cost...both financially and emotionally. photographers they had used in the past simply didn't get the difficulties these kids faced or the families so any attempt usually turned out as a fail. then to listen to others saying that even if they could manage they couldn't afford the price tag...something i personally relate to as a mum with kids on the spectrum and all the 'extra' medical expenses we face and often on a weekly basis. parents that felt guilty because they were able to have plenty of photos of their non asd kids...just weren't able to manage that with their asd kids because it was all far too hard. i get that...so with the support of these parents, the fact that so many have come to me and asked if i would consider offering photo packages and sessions...chris turnbull photography has taken a completely different path to what i could ever have imagined.

my first official photo shoot is scheduled for saturday june 18th and my next on sunday 19th already booked in as well. so although a little nervous i'm really looking forward to everything about this process. i purposely chose to start my bookings half way through june so i could fine tune things a little. although people know i'm just starting out things are moving forward well. as i find my feet, grow and develop with a passion and dedication to offer families in the city of greater bendigo area quality and affordable photography, it's really important to let families with special needs children know that there's someone out there that is able to offer services out there for them as well.

and with that i'll finish up...but before i go completely here's a couple of photo's...

oh i knew i forgot something...i'm filling photo sessions quickly with more already schedule for late in june and then july so if you or anyone you know are wanting to book in a photo session or would like more information please contact me...all info is on my website

w: christurnbullphotography.com
ciao, hugs chris xoxo

this is who i am...this is me...

2011-06-04T01:19:00.002+10:00

a new blog post and i'm stuck for a title. i have much to say and usually when i blog...my title is already there sitting in my head ready to go, typed in that empty space above that says 'title'. tonight is different and i'm sure as i put word to paper something will come to me. ever had one of those weeks? i'm sure many of us can pretty much answer that with a flat out yes. yes for me too! it's been an emotional roller coaster to the extreme for me and what's so frustrating about it is it's kinda all been external. in other words not family orientated what so ever. in fact this week the kids are really good and so is the hub. no child of mine has had a meltdown, no child of mine has hurt themselves, no child of mine needed a trip to the doctor or the hospital, in fact it's been a really good week internally. and then the unexpected happens and impacts on my emotional and mental state that sometimes i even find it hard to fathom.

so yep it's been one of those weeks and honestly and truthfully...it really sucks because it's distracted me from my work that really needs to be done and now and i haven't been able to concentrate on that. it's wasted my head space and caused unrest and you know what...i ask myself the simple question of why? but i take it one question further...why does it keep happening?

there are situations in life where you can look back and say although at the time i'm not sure why god thought i needed to go through that but now i know. there are times that you simply have no answer or understanding of but you trust in god because you know he will get you through no matter what and then there are the times that you just want it to stop so you can move forward, not be used and abused any further and not be walked all so others can feel better about themselves.

i was reminiscing with the hub the other day, going back to my school days (a lot of years ago now) in particular my high school days. every thursday afternoon our year level would have a recreational afternoon. part of our school's 'extra curriculum' activities. most of these activities were things one needed to pay for on a weekly basis....roller skating (as it was known then), ice skating, bowling etc etc and most kids opted for these. and then there were the extra school activities listed that i chose. helping within the community, in the local primary schools teaching young children how to read, in nursing homes visiting the elderly and sick, into peoples homes sitting with them listening, learning, keeping or cleaning their homes, enjoying their company as much as they did mine, taking care of those in need, every week, every month, every term. the school supported this in the same way the school supported the kids going off to roller skate for the afternoon and i felt like i was the more privileged.

many years later not much has really changed. i'm just a few years older, married for the last 25 years with 4 kids. in all the years since then i've been in the community supporting, helping, caring and assisting others in any way i have been able to. kindergarten committees, school councils and committees, fundraising, safety house association, church ministry and support within, caring, supporting, assisting, learning and loving all that comes with that. a strong advocate for my own families and childrens rights due to their disabilities. a dedicated and passionate person in all that i put my hand to and go forth with and someone who finds happiness, joy, warmth and inspiration from so many wonderful people i have had the privilege of knowing...this is who i am...this is me!!!

this is me...i've just turned 44 years of age. i've been married for close to 25 years (to the wonderful mr.t), i have 4 beautiful children and 3 of them have autism, mental illnesses, my younger 2 asd kids are also visually impaired. hubby is visually impaired...woe is me...NO!!! although some days are difficult, i love my family. i advocate for my asd kids right for a fair and happy life...all with a positive future. over the years my heart has been touched by so many wonderful and inspirational people...many within my own community. i'm dedicated and passionate about so many things. i have wishes and dreams just like the next person. i have talents and abilities just like the next person. i have faith in god that he will get me through every day. i see inspiration in so much around me and bring that in to who i am and what i do. sadly because of who i am - my personality and nature, certain people feel they have the right to walk all over me. sadly over the past few years this has left irreversible damage that only by god's grace and love i manage daily. but...yes there's usually always a but...this has only helped mold me into who i am today and that due to those experiences i can be a help and a support to others who are in or have been in the same situation. no matter what, i love what i do.

this is me...i'm the president of the largest asd support group within the loddon mallee region. i have met some incredibly beautiful people and even for me the support from these guys can get a little overwhelming. i am inspired often by not only individuals on the spectrum but all those incredible people i admire who look after, love and care for someone on the spectrum. respect and admiration for parents and carers living life full of challenges and constant day to day battles. how can you not have a heart. i play piano, i sing, i'm a song writer, i've dabbled in courses...dried flower arranging, beginners folk art, intermediate and advanced classes in folk art, i've sold unique one off pieces of work, i've worked at scrapbooking stores teaching classes, i've always wanted to play the clarinet and actually own one and starting learning. i've sung to audiences, i've played piano for audiences, i've written and played my own music to audiences. i've created wall hangings and quilts both by machine and hand sewn, i've made rag dolls and love art. i'm also passionate about other things...for 12+ years i've been a fairly avid paper scrapbooker. the opportunities to be part of design teams, teach classes, enjoy creating some pretty precious memories and meet wonderful people along the way has been fantastic. i've also been an avid digital scrapbooker working my layouts in photoshop for the past 8 years or so. i love so many wonderful mixed media arts, handmade crafts, hybrid projects. i love photography (but then how could a scrapper not) and all that comes with that creatively. i love photoshop and lightroom. i love my canon dslr and camera gear. i love stationary, boots, my husband, my kids, god and all that's good in this world. oh and mostly i dislike tv, wasting time, doing nothing and being idle.

this is who i am...this is me...

last sunday (29th may) i celebrated my 44th birthday. the hub and kids gave me a velbon 600r tripod and canon remote trigger for my birthday. i was also treated to a wonderful day in maldon just with tim, taking photos (with my new tripod) and lunch at a gorgeous restaurant there. it was sooooo busy down there...unbelievably busy but then it was a beautiful day....overcast but not really cold and there i was right in the middle of that busyness with my brand new tripod and my trusty camera assistant (the hub) taking pics right in the middle of everyone. not only did i manage it and well but conquered that fear i thought i would have. people looked, people spoke, people saw us coming...lol and it didn't matter. they were cool with it and so was i. anyhoo i've rambled on stacks tonight...but i'm feeling good.

oh and if you didn't know (and you've got this far) check this out www.christurnbullphotography.weebly.com

yep website is no longer a free one...i've gone 'pro', and i'm offering photography packages to families as of now. so for any locals in the area who are thinking of having some photos done pop on over, have a squizz, spread and share the love, like me on my about me page (oh and my facebook page chris turnbull photography) and of course contact me if i can help.

outta here...night, ciao, hugs chris xoxo

where's there a clone when you need one...

2011-05-31T14:05:00.000+10:00

yep i'm putting out an ad...i need a clone!!! i've decided that a) i need a magic wish fairy or b) i need a full time 'gopher' someone who can go for this and go for that...lol <..... is that allowed...using the term 'gopher' or is it politically incorrect these days...ho hum. or c) no need to sleep (ahh like a vampire) and get everything done that's needed....think of all those night time hours wasted sleeping when i could be quite happily using that time to do all the things i want and need or of course d) a clone...yep i could do with any one of the above...except hubby thinks there's already enough of me in the world and it doesn't need another...lol

so life is busy...but then i figured you guessed that with the title of this blog post. although hands up anyone who isn't...seriously life is so different these days and all the 'extras' that come with all those responsibilities we have is huge, well actually huger then huge!!!

anyhoo this is another one of those really quick blog posts so you all know i'm alive....yep still in the land of the living. but i'm coming back to blog again hopefully later today or tomorrow. i have some photo's i want to sort through and edit and then upload one or two to here and there...yep my website and...over there, yep my FB page as well. so i'm outta here and heading in the direction of lightroom and photoshop...right here in front of me.

ciao xoxo

still here...

2011-05-25T22:47:00.000+10:00

yep it's true...seriously, i'm still here and i'm still alive! amazing huh?! so i've popped on here to let you all know i haven't fallen off the edge of the world just yet. it's a busy time and quite frankly i'm missing those day light savings hours at the moment.

only a very quick post because i'm freezing my butt off here (hello winter my old friend) and really would prefer to sit up in bed and do a little reading where it's awhole lot warmer.

anyhoo that's it from me tonight...just letting ya all know i'm still alive and kicking!!!

oh and i've been tweaking my website which you can check out over here...well down on the next line really.

www.christurnbullphotography.weebly.com

night all, sleep well, pleasant dreams, stay warm and ciao!!! hugs chris xoxo

wee bit busy...

2011-05-18T21:08:00.000+10:00

and that's the excuse i'm sticking to for not bloggin' sooner. sad i know but true and then every time i thought about it something else came along to either distract or prioritise so while i can tonight...i will!!!

life is busy there's actually nothing new with that, however sometimes i wish life would slow down a little and allow me the opportunity to take on more...sounds weird huh?!!! now don't get me wrong i love everything i do just that there isn't enough time to do everything or juggle it better then i would prefer...clear as mud?!!! thought so.

i guess what i'm trying to say is there simply isn't enough hours in a day or days in a week to comfortably allow everything necessary to sit balanced like a cute bug in a rug <..... did i just say that? yep i did...lol!

anyhoo you know how it is!!! at least i hope so ;)

ok now a little updating and gotta remember what i've already blogged about since mother's day.

you all know lance got his licence...yep he's on his p plates now. doesn't have a car, not sure what'll happen there as one needs finances for it
grace is still child minding which is fabulous
steph is managing all 3 art classes at school in a week now which is fantastic and we are still not sure about netschool although we've had a little meeting there
isaac is struggling because he is not in school and the fact he can't manage being there. did speak to those in charge of netschool and the assistant principal thought there was a possibility with home based - project based learning however when i asked the co-ordinator of netschool about it she flat out refused to take him onboard. so that was very frustrating indeed. just another organisation and another department that has allowed isaac to fall through the cracks yet again.
since i took up the challenge of not biting or picking my nails they have grown, i have not bitten them and for the most part the picking has stopped. yay i have nails and i'm slowly trying to come to terms that yes i have nails and they are looking really good.
no more painting rooms for now...too cold at the moment anyway but would you believe that after i put my back out a few weeks ago seriously...guess what? i did it again 2 fridays ago and pretty much canceled every appointment, meeting and anything else that wasn't needed so i could rest my back and manage the BAAG event we held last thursday 12 may. I did and right up until that morning it was very very uncertain due to not being able to stand straight or walk without serious pain.

while i mention BAAG...last thursday's autism awareness event with Prof Bruce Tonge and Dr Avril Brereton as guest speakers was a huge success. the night before we had 208 registrations and we received many more on the day, full house!!! the entire morning was fantastic...yes every part of it so very pleasing and very happy.

on another note...photography yes i'm still trying to sort through and fine tune a few things so i can offer families etc in my local area the opportunity of affordable photo packages and of course capturing those precious moments in time to treasure. there are a few families with children who have special needs and they are being very patient and this is where i plan to specialise a little as well but i have to admit that i'm still struggling with the 'confidence' factor...yes even little old me!

something that has been a passionate hobby of mine is slowly turning into something more which is truly amazing and wonderful and as much as i love the thought and i'm working closer to everything in that way...i'm also concerned i'm not good enough. in this industry you need to be good enough to at least start on that journey...yes one grows and develops along the way, however one needs to be good enough in the first place to head down that path and from time to time i struggle.

and while we're on the subject...here's a few photos from a fun shoot with my girls from sunday...enjoy!

until next time enjoy these and if you're looking for more pics...don't forget to check out both my facebook page chris turnbull photography and my website chris turnbull photography. you can 'like' my facebook page and follow me that way and you can also click on the 'like' button over on my 'about me' page on my website too.

ok i'm outta here, enjoy the post and pics. hugs chris xoxo

mother's day...

2011-05-08T22:12:00.000+10:00

i'm wishing all our wonderful mums out there a very special mother's day today. for me the day is almost over but as i sit here and blog away i'm reminded of what being a mum is all about. it's not about how rich you are, how eloquent one may be, about the class one may 'fall into', it's not about whether your a WAHM or a SAHM or work outside of home, it's not about the 'label' of clothing you wear or you dress your child in and it sure isn't about judging others. being a mum is all about love and selfless love at that, it's about caring and patience, nurturing and guidance, sacrifice and responsibility...responsibility and all that comes with raising a child that you have been blessed with.

it's not about the materialistic things in this world that makes us the best parent we can be...it's about giving...about the love we have for the child we've brought into this world. mothering doesn't come with a handbook, there is no manual when we bring a baby into this world, there will be heartache and heartbreak, there will be experiences both good and bad, there will be happy days and bad days and even days that aren't quite both. sacrifices are made, eyebrows are raised and moments can take your breath away - both good and bad. the love we have for our children is without question, it is full of challenges...we all know that but it is all also full of rewards and blessings. love has no boundaries and it is pure. no one said raising a child would be easy but being a mum is amazing and sometimes in the midst of chaos we just need to step outside ourselves and see how precious mothering and all that comes with it, can be. life is not perfect and neither is parenting...doing the very best we can, no matter the circumstances, allows us all to grow and become better people.

i love being a mum even though the challenges of raising kids with disabilities is wrought with obstacles all along the way, i wouldn't change being a mum for anything else in the whole wide world.

hugs chris xoxo

back to the daily grind...

2011-05-02T20:36:00.000+10:00

so our wonderful school holidays and easter break are over, the weather is slowly getting a little more chilly and the evenings are no longer nice and light till 9pm. yep shorter daylight hours and it's dark for a little longer here where i live. i don't mind that daylight savings is finished for another season and the evenings are somewhat cosier...i just wish for a few extra hours in my day or another day in my week to keep on top of everything.

if only...

dreams came true and life wasn't so incredibly busy.

we had our family worker out last friday and because it's been awhile since his last visit due to him being sick, me putting my back out for what felt like forever, holidays and easter etc...he wanted to know how things had been since last time. tim and i mentioned pretty much the same thing - frustrated at the lack of services for our kids, frustrated that tim and i seem to do everything and do the chasing and do the prompting and live and breathe complete and utter frustrations at the moment and in a very exhausted manner. he then proceeded to ask what could be done to help change some of those things and once again tim and i mentioned the impossible.

an ever lasting money tree out the back so we could cater for our childrens needs privately.
more hours in our day to manage everything
the possibility of another day in the week
needing another car would be useful and very helpful
the possiblity of a clone

of course in mentioning those serious recommendations i also mentioned that none of them were a possibility and therefore the help we need wasn't either as no department funds any of the above.

we also expressed the frustrations that due to the lack of services and help we need that everything else is impacted by those limited and inadequate services which amongst other things, i mentioned that i was having difficulty with not being able to juggle everything the way it needs to be and balancing life in every direction. i also spoke about the opportunity i have to take photos of families and their children as a number of parents have come to me to ask. all in a natural environment because many simply can't manage the more 'professional studio shoots' due to their kids having special needs and not being able to sit still. parents approaching me after they've seen my own personal photos and asking if i would capture those precious moments for them which i feel most overwhelmed. once again he asked what could be done to help...once again i mentioned the above...except that the ever lasting money tree would be helpful for a little more photog equipment and again not a possibility.

and for the most part...confidence. confidence to feel and know that although not a professional photographer there is talent even as an aspiring and budding photographer. some days i think yes and other days, more so when i'm struggling within myself, i think...nope not at all. the worst part is comparing myself to others...which although i know one shouldn't...how can one not at times.

so this week is a busy week, i probably won't have a chance to take any new photos until after our big may 12 event as there is pretty much something in the way of a meeting or appointment or get together everyday until then. talk about busy as but having said that of course if i get a chance this weekend i might just do that.

now before i go i've gotta share something pretty darn awesome with you all. our son lance who is 19.5 has autism, severe speech, language and communication delay, learning difficulties, long and short term difficulties, depression and a severe anxiety disorder has been on his learners licence for sometime now. last thursday after alot of work, plenty of professional driving lessons lance finally went for his p1 probationary licence assessment. he passed yes he passed and he passed with a 100% perfect score...we are so proud of him and with all we have gone through, this kid for the 1st passed a test fully....but wow what a test to pass. i hope all those parents/carers out there of children with any special needs that read my blog or may happen upon it, that this is the inspiration you may need right about now. it's not about the licence itself...it's about opportunity in a world that seems so negative and wrought with lifelong obstacles all along the way. it's about the ability to achieve what others may deem impossible, it's about life and love...its about hope!

hope and faith, hope and possibility, hope and potential and in those darkest moments when we may feel the complete opposite because i will be the first to admit i did not believe this was possible for our son...it's about not ever giving up...not even when we feel we can't do anymore...it's about finding the inner strength we thought impossible and reaching a little further...never losing sight of hope...never giving up!!!

just a handful of photos taken on the easter weekend. these photos may just be pics to some but each and everyone of these photos tell a story...a story of courage, trust, of life and love...the architecture alone is based on faith, courage and trust. from a time now part of history...faith that the designers (architects) had the courage to not only bring together their ideas but build upon them and build them well so we could enjoy them today. the blood sweat and tears that went into each stone put in place, the history of an era that once was and is no more. the history of each of these buildings and what they were built for. take the last 2 photos, they're of our local war museum, those precious souls that lost their battle but fought for our freedom that we have today. it isn't just a building, it's what and who it represents...it's the story of hope!

till next time, hugs chris xoxo

the end...

2011-04-26T23:29:00.001+10:00

of what has been the most glorious autumn easter break. i have enjoyed every minute of the school holidays although they have been quite busy. the past 5 days however i decided it was time to catch up on things here at home and simply put everything else on hold. wow amazing what once can achieve when one doesn't have to worry (too much) about anything else...well at least put 'anything else' on hold until after the easter break.

wouldn't i be wonderful to have long weekends like this every weekend...lol not much else would get done but seriously i think everyone would be so much happier...don't you? anyhoo i've managed to get steph's room done, do a little pottering about the home, rearrange the lounge with the help of hubby...oh and rearrange the laundry as well of course with hubbies help. tidy and clean the bathroom with the help of grace, ponder the next big painting project which i'm torn between isaac's room and our lounge, but only as a good mum will do...she'll put her child 1st and pretty much do isaac's room first. pick my hand grown pumpkins, water the garden, shop, take photos and enjoy some time with hubby today thanks to grace who was our 'carer' for a couple of hours while tim and i popped out and enjoyed this most glorious perfect autumn weather.

tomorrow it all goes back to some sort of 'normal' and our busy schedules and routines start all over again. not that it really stops...it just becomes different. so for the most past school also starts back tomorrow...yes even here, however steph doesn't actually start till thursday. but our holidays are over and this week is flat out with appointments everyday, mountains of paperwork and mountains of paperwork to file seeing as we've just had a rearranged the lounge and i need to find a home for all those papers you can't throw out. thank goodness i have a huge filing system....just been somewhat slack on actually filing everything that needs to be filed.

isn't it just as well i like to keep busy both with my hands and brain!!!

i often get asked how do i manage everything and to be honest i'm not always sure how to answer. life is what it is...even for us. raising 4 teens...3 with autism and other disorders certainly has it's challenges don't get me wrong, it's just that i'm not one to sit on my butt and do nothing. i hate daytime tv...in fact for the most part i really hate tv...so i don't watch a whole lot of it anytime. my fave shows i insist on watching every week however are escape to the country and 60 mm, i love these 2 shows and enjoy them alot. i have an incredibly supportive husband and i will say this one thing...without tim being the housekeeper i wouldn't manage. he is wonderful when it comes to the chores and for the most part he manages most of them...dishes, laundry, most of the other housework and dealing with the pets.

i still cook, do the dishes occasionally, do the shopping, answer the phone calls, deal with all the emails - for home and BAAG, pay the bills, take the kids to their appointments etc, do all the overseeing of the kids situations with departments, specialists etc, what's necessary in relation to BAAG daily and somewhere try to fit in more and more photography because i seriously want to go somewhere with this. i've got a queue of parents wanting me to take photos of their children...many of them are children with asd/special needs and families simply struggle to have more 'professional studio' photo's taken simply because their gorgeous cherubs aren't able to sit still long enough for those 'happy snaps'. i would like to offer an opportunity to families/carers/parents to have moments and memories in their life that can be captured and can be treasured for life. i would also like to offer this at a cost that won't be a huge financial burden to parents either. so i'm trying to work through plans and options suitable and of course balance it all well so i can offer my services both as a photographer and as a parent who understands.

local 'natural light' photographer able to offer services in a (local) location of your choice...hummmm not bad!

bendigo has the most amazing outdoor locations and so many of them as well. i actually sat here the other night and started writing them all down - unbelievable and just within bendigo and it's suburbs itself, there is so much choice. being outside allows the kids to be natural, parents to relax and less photography equipment needed to be carried. it's all about nature and allowing children and their families to be happy, without restraint, without pressure and let the kids be as they will...and i'll be there right in the midst by their sides taking photos. :)

ok so while we're on the subject of photos here are a few from today's beautiful autumn weather + hubby + grace staying home being 'carer' for a couple of hours + a chance to spend quality time with tim and create the opportunity to take some photos. of course all that = the below photos...enjoy ♥♥♥

until next time enjoy the above photos and take care. hugs chris xoxo

happy easter...

2011-04-22T16:52:00.000+10:00

today is good friday here, in fact it's late afternoon and we've just finished up having a bbq. today is peaceful, everyone is happy and i ♥ that alot. it's not usually like this but i'm so glad that it is - today. we're not doing anything much this easter...for the past however many years we would normally go away...but going away under extreme pressure and for the most part not enjoying any of it as our kids did not cope, tim did not cope and therefore nor did i was horrible. we would go year after year after year, we went because it's what was expected of us and people simply had no idea or understanding of what our family would go through to please other's expectations. now that pressure from 'others' is no longer there, that immense stress we were under is gone and for the first time in a very long time...the kids, tim and i are at peace!

it's a 5 day long weekend here and i'm looking forward to spending some much needed time with hubby and the kids over this extended weekend. potter about home a little, finally finish steph's room which is almost done, maybe take some photos and basically that's about it. oh and i must just add that my back is pretty much ok. a little tender here and there but this morning i was able to fully dress myself (i have not been able to do that for a month without help) and i put on my socks and shoes this morning all by myself without any help. i still have to be cautious but i've learnt to live like that for years now and i really hope i never have a major disc bulge again.

anyhoo this post is meant to be short and sweet simply to wish everyone a very happy safe and blessed easter wherever you are and however you choose to celebrate. ♥♥♥

the latest little photo shoot (steph as model) from last saturday April 16th out the front of dudley house here in bendigo. steph had a piece of artwork on show at the raw art exhibition and so we went along to check it out.

ok well that's pretty much it from me for now, happy easter. hugs chris xoxo

priceless...

2011-04-16T01:20:00.002+10:00

life throws all sorts of things our way...some good, some bad, some soso and some very special. there are moments, times and people that pass our way that simply leave you feeling overwhelmed although not in a bad way...because today i've chosen the positive, but in a very special way. life itself is a journey, a path well worn, a road much traveled and for each and everyone of us...unique. unique not necessarily like a one off rare item or moment, but unique because of the wonderful people we travel that road with.

over the past 2.5 years i have meet some incredible people, their stories, their truly inspirational lives have touched my heart in a way i was totally unprepared for. traveling the very unique journey of autism is wrought with all sorts of obstacles, mazes and hurdles, but through it all and sometimes without realisation, the path is not always a negative one, in fact it can be quite positive and sometimes we just need to look a little farther and other times the very special and amazing things are right there in front of you...we just need to open our eyes and see.

i am a passionate person, determined, committed and dedicated to what i love the most...over the years there have been those that have tried to bring those very qualities and values down and tread all over them. however more fool them because it has only allowed me to get back up much stronger with even more passion and determination. life as we see and how we live it, is a gift...it is not something to be taken for granted, it is not something to gain for egotistical rewards...it is an opportunity to create amazing moments and memories along the way, for all it's worth it is priceless...

this is one of those incredible memories, one of those amazing moments in life. these beautiful photos tell a wonderful story, my daughter grace with rhylan. rhylan has an autism spectrum disorder and they have developed a unique and very special bond in a very small amount of time. look closely at the photos...the expressions, the eyes, the smiles, the trust...truly inspirational. a small moment in time captured in it's purest form, a memory to be treasured, now this is priceless...

hugs chris xoxo

passions...

2011-04-14T13:29:00.002+10:00

i believe most people have a passion or 2 or 3 and some even a little more. over the years mine have changed, some of them i no longer involve myself in, others i didn't have the opportunity to involve myself in for reasons at the time although the passions didn't die, they just went on temporary vacation. scrapbooking has long been a passion of mine both in the paper format and of course digital. i've worked out that i've been paper scrapbooking for around 12 years and digital for something like 7 or 8.

the other passion of mine has been photography and of course to me scrapping and photography go hand in hand. for many years i didn't even own a camera and then when i did it was just what i classify as a cheap and nasty simply because the finances were not there for a more affordable one. i look back at when my kids were little and think of all the opportunities lost and although there is nothing i can do about that simply because i can't bring back the past and reinvent it...i can do something about it now.

i own a decent camera now and i am endeavouring to make the most of it. i've owned my canon EOS 1000D DSLR for about 2 years now and i love it and slowly over time i've been adding to my camera bag of goodies. if only lenses were not so $$$$$ i would have a few more. currently i have a EF-S 18 - 55 mm EF 75 - 300 mm and EF 50 mm F1.8II. i'm now looking into a decent tripod and seeing as the birthday is next month i'm hoping the kids will pool their resources and buy me one as a gift...a mum can hope so can't she. next on the list are some decent backdrops and a remote control. there's a few more things on the list but like all things one desires i need to be patient.

anyhoo recently and more and more i've had parents ask me if i would take photos of their kids. at first i said no simply because i certainly didn't think i had what it took nor enough 'skill' to go with it all. these parents have children with special needs...autism spectrum disorders and other challenges. on tuesday as a few of our BAAG members met for a photo shoot with one of the photographers from our local paper as we have placed an article for an autism awareness feature for tomorrow's paper, i decided it was time to take that bold step and take some random photos of the kids doing what they do best...having fun! although i'm still very much in the process of editing a few photo's from tuesday i've managed to get a couple of batches done and uploaded. they've turned out brilliantly and i know there are parents wanting my services. so i'm taking the plunge and i'm starting. i'm still working out the final bits and pieces however i'm not standing in the shadows anymore or saying no. i love what i do and although i am learning all the time this aspiring and budding photographer is overwhelmed by those that have commented, asked, wanted or simply told another about who i am and what i do. after all i wear a few hats, however none as important of that as a parent and a carer to 4 teens...3 of them who have autism and other special needs. i hope my passion for photography will give other parents and their precious cherubs an opportunity to have their special moments captured for all time...as it was intended...in nature for who they are and all that comes with it.

totally gorgeous kids...yep see the one just above...that's my girl steph. love the way these have turned out and there's more but today sadly my time is limited so it won't be until late tonight that i can finish uploading the rest. i hope you enjoy these photos and one thing that i feel is really important to mention...all these children including my girl steph have an autism spectrum disorder. they are beautiful and unique in their own truly wonderful way. ♥♥♥ ciao chris xoxo

happy WAAD...

2011-04-02T17:26:00.001+11:00

what the heck you ask is WAAD? world autism awareness day and april the 2nd (which is today here in the land of oz) is officially in it's 4th year of celebrations. today BAAG (bendigo autism asperger group) held a special morning tea for all our members in support of WAAD, recognising and representing all individuals on the autism spectrum. we had quite a few families and individuals turn up and the morning was fabulous.

today i'm doing better, i'm still tender and very frustrated however i'm hoping my back and i are on the same page now and working together to move forward. i really hate this crippling condition that stops you in your tracks and does not allow you to do anything except breathe unaided. today i did not use my walking stick but did have it in the car just in case. today i have been able to manage better then the past 1.5 weeks and i am hoping for no more set backs and the ability to function fully again in the next few days. i have much to do and this is not helping with my to do list which is growing longer everyday.

so it's saturday and the most glorious autumn day i've felt for awhile. i could do with a lot more days like this because for me it's the perfect weather. perfect to potter about the garden, perfect to potter about inside, perfect because it's not too hot nor too cold, perfect because it's autumn and one of my most fave seasons along with spring. today is bliss!!!

for those of you who have come to know our family enough you'll know isaac is our youngest, has autism, adhd, high anxiety, is visually impaired, is completely disengaged from society, is no longer in school and has quite a few sensory issues etc etc etc and i won't go on because that's enough. anyhoo he licks, sucks and smells his hair constantly and is also very restless and fidgets alot. without going into further detail about what we've already tried etc i found a wonderful website that offered a range of chewlery and fidget sensory items...in canada. then checked out the locations and realised i could get those items here in the land of oz.

a couple of days ago i called isaac (my 15 yr old) into my room so i could show him a couple of items from the range on the laptop. he was able to communicate with me that he licked, sucked and smelt his hair because of anxiety...i was quite overwhelmed that he was able to join the dots there. however what he said next astonished me even more and so the conversation goes a little something like this.

me - isaac if i was to buy you one of these chewlery items would this help

isaac - mum you spend alot of money on me already with my eyes and i don't want you to spend anymore on me because you need the money for my eyes

me - yes i do however do you think this would help you instead of chewing your hair all the time

isaac - mum i don't chew my hair i lick, suck and smell it because it helps me when i'm stressed and anxious

me - so would one of these help you so you don't lick suck and smell your hair all the time

isaac - if you would like to buy me one then i would use it

the above conversation was one of the longest and most open conversations i've had with isaac for a very very long time and not only the 'what ' but the 'how' he communicated his needs to me was amazing. although i knew all this i've been somewhat concerned that isaac wasn't sure why he had certain behaviours, idiosyncrasies, sensory issues etc etc and this was an incredible break through.

the items in question...

kids companion chewlery and you are able to purchase these items here in the land of oz as well, right over here at special needs toys australia so i'll be ordering a couple of black ones asap and the beauty of these is they can be quite discreet and be popped on a lanyard or a clasp. i'll let you know how we go with them and of course more importantly how isaac manages them.

lance is going for his drivers licence on the 28th of this month. he has managed his 120 hours on his learners, has been having quite a few lessons with an instructor who actually has dealt with a few young fellows on the autism spectrum and she has said he is ready. i mentioned my biggest concern for lance was his ability to transfer that 'skill' from being supervised for the past 2+ years to solo driving. she has told lance that he will still need to have tim or i in the car just because it's been such a long time and not start driving solo for a little while once he does get his licence so he can slowly get use to it. he has admitted to both hubby and i that he would not be up to driving solo once he does get his licence which i'm glad he is able to recognise and it will just be careful management and a little more work for us to achieve that on any level. i have to say it's pretty scary stuff, technically he is able to drive the car and very well, it's the 'solo' driving that concern tim and i with all the what if's all due to his learning difficulties...hummmm but i'm being as positive as i can although it's tough emotionally as we know him better then anyone else and tim and i do have our concerns.

last but not least yesterday...well i think it was yesterday...lol i was able to get out into the front garden in the arvo and snap a couple of pics. not much but certainly enough to take my mind off my frustrations with being so very limited in my ability to do NOT MUCH AT ALL!!!! gosh i'm yelling lol told ya i was frustrated but anyway here they are and i hope you enjoy them.

ciao for now, hugs chris, xoxo.

happy 17th birthday steph...

2011-04-01T12:18:00.000+11:00

i'm a day late to wish my daughter steph a happy 17th birthday in the blogging type of way. usually it's something i do on the day but the past week and a half i have spent most of it in bed flat on my back with a serious disc bulge barely functional and barely able to move.

wednesday i was pain free and was able to sit up and take things slow but yesterday i pinched the nerve again all just because i popped my shoes on and that pretty much landed me back in bed again for the most part of the day. i'm still tender but not as bad so the next few days will be slow going...very slow going indeed.

so where was i?....oh yes that's right so yesterday being thursday the 31st of march was steph's 17th birthday. we did manage the presents, we did manage the take away of choice (pizza), we did manage the b'day cake - marble mud cake and all thanks to grace doing the ordering and hubby picking all the food up. i did not manage photos...i was in bed but apparently grace did so i'll be looking through them to see what's been taken cause i heard that camera go off a thousand times and i tell ya i swear that's the truth and all through the clicking and flashing...lol i heard grace keep saying but if i don't take lots and get the right one mum won't be happy...i'm pretty sure she was messing about because she made sure she was loud and constant...gotta love her.

ok so while i've been blogging i decided to hunt through the photos that grace took and i've found a couple to pop on the blog. although i always pop my copyright siggy just to protect the pics a little more when popping them on to the web these pics are grace's work...not a bad job hey!!!!

soooooo happy birthday stephanie...although it didn't quite turn out the way i would have preferred i know you still had a wonderful day and got extremely spoilt...next year i'm not putting my back out seeing as you're gonna be 18 and all. may your dreams and aspirations, may your wishes and hopes all come true. it's been a rough year for you but i know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and we're making our way towards it. love ya heaps girl ♥♥♥♥♥

ciao for now, hugs chris xoxo

it's official...

2011-03-23T20:49:00.000+11:00

what's official you may ask? this ......> it's been 2 full weeks since i stopped biting my finger nails and i know you may think wow who cares (and i won't be at all offended if you don't), however i am a serious compulsive nail biter and picker (onychophagia ) have been for the past few years. i hate the very thought that my nails are in such a hideous state and i try not to show them, i hide them all the time because i'm embarrassed and ashamed of this repulsive condition. i work pretty hard at hiding this disorder when out in public and i also try to hide my fingers and nails altogether...if i could physically hide my hands permanently then that would be fabulous.

however this is a serious disorder i have and this simply won't suit anymore. i can't let it rule or ruin my life any longer and so i am working really hard at trying to deal with this and without any medical intervention. you see i'm simply to embarrassed to see someone about this condition i have and so i haven't for years, but i know it's serious and very painful. although they will never be glamorous and remain very brittle...i am very proud of the fact that they are slowly growing and 'healing'...for now anyway.

so i bet you didn't think that the title of this blog post would reveal something you didn't know about me and probably don't want to. however to help me on my own journey...i need to get this off my chest and out there...yes my own warped sense of therapy in itself.

anyhoo that'll do about me as scary as that was...it's time to move on...it's midweek here, yup finally wednesday has arrived, complete with the rain and winter weather we are having here right at the start of autumn...odd!!! seems the seasons right across this beautiful planet of ours are weird and changing. in all my years i have never had such a cold summer and although it suited me just fine...there was no summer...how odd!!! and now autumn has just started as much as i was expecting milder days and gorgeous autumn weather for a little while we're really seeing winter weather start. like i said most odd and very very weird.

so here's the low down on the interior painting...grace's room is finally finished (with the exception of her floor of course) but everything else in the painting dept is done. the dunny...yep the good old family loo is now painted and all we need to do is replace the tiled flooring. so i'm onto steph's room now and alot of work went into preparing the room for painting. carpet is out, walls are clean and nail holes filled, window sill is sanded and 2 coats of paint went onto the ceiling today. tomorrow we start on the walls and then the trims. so hopefully by the start of next week...steph's room will be done and just in time for her 17th birthday on the 31st of this month.

slowly but surely...the interior will be done...we have so much to do and on a very very very limited and tight budget but we're getting there.

last but not least a few photos for you all to enjoy. nothing fancy just a little of the 'simpler' things in life...

ciao...hugs chris xoxo

so it's monday...

2011-03-21T19:53:00.001+11:00

the start of another new week and we're almost done with march...where has the year gone already? to think it's almost easter and here in australia the 1st school holidays for the 2011 school year are almost upon us...wow!!!

it's been a rather industrious weekend, 1st on saturday we had ten pin bowling with families from bendigo autism asperger group joining in and having a much needed and wonderful family fun filled afternoon bowling. it was really nice to catch up with those i already know, meet with new families i had not met before and lots of kids...yep kids on the autism spectrum, their siblings and their families. a truly wonderful time.

you all know i'm slowly painting the interior of our home don't you? of course you do well grace's room is just about done...got one more coat to do on her skirting boards and then (apart from her floor) we're done...finally. i've also pretty much done the loo...yep all white except the dunny seat which now looking at the colour....i think it's time for a new one and of course and i must mention we've finally taken off the wallpaper in steph's room...filling the little nail holes everywhere, turfing out her furniture (into the shed) and starting on that this week too. phew!!! i'm worn out just thinking about it.

tim has done an amazing job removing the driveway gates further up the driveway and fiddling about the backyard doing what men do best...whatever that may be...lol, now after 13 years i think the gas man will be pretty happy he can actually come onto the property and take a reading of both gas meters properly without dogs growling and wanting to rip him to shreds and of course having to take his little monocular out to view the meters over the fence.

the vegetable garden has also been fenced off and there are more ideas for the backyard but slowly and surely we're getting there. so it's been quite busy as you can see and quite productive. now all we need is a huge skip to get rid of all our junk and it would be nice to have the $$$ for a much needed carport for the car as well. perhaps one day the magic miracle fairy will grant that wish for us too. that would be awesome.

ok so while i'm blogging i'm updating you all with a few more pics from the other days shoot with steph. although she wasn't smiling in every pic...her expressions are priceless and i love the fact that not only is she a gorgeous girl but a very photogenic one no matter the mood. enjoy...

so a quick update wishing everyone who passes this way, a great week ahead and may peace, calm and happiness be upon you all. hugs chris xoxo

and so...

2011-03-17T16:47:00.000+11:00

i should be apologising to all my followers for not updating sooner....man life gets a wee bit busy from time to time...just not enough hours in those days we have! anyhoo i'm here finally spending my sunny thursday afternoon blogging and tweaking my website - chris turnbull photography instead of painting some much needed trims in the home vivid white.

i'm hoping to eventually start working with families and friends to help capture those precious lifetime memories that we all create. natural light photography and portrait photography with a hint of creativity and loads of inspiration. i've already been asked by a couple of people if i would take photos of their children etc which has been quite overwhelming as in no way did i expect my passion to go down that path. although not at all a professional photographer and i continue to maintain that...my aspiring and budding photography creativeness has been noticed and i appreciate that...like you couldn't imagine appreciate that...wow!

so while i'm here rambling on about photos, creativeness and all things precious...take a look at some of the pics from our latest photo shoot i had with my totally gorgeous girl steph. some of you know she's going through a pretty tough time at the moment and you may see that in her expressions but what an incredible opportunity. even in our darkest moments, sometimes we need to do something different, put the world on hold and take a breath. we all deserve to feel a sense of worth and want, to feel we're important and worthwhile, to be understood and to capture the raw and harsh 'reality' within these moments. these moments may not be our best however they are too be treasured because every person has the right to feel loved, to be loved, to feel wanted, to be wanted and to be special...magical!!!

i might just come back and blog in a day or two and add a few more....gorgeous isn't she and mum's not too bad with the old camera...lol

glorious sunday...

2011-03-06T23:46:00.001+11:00

the weekend may be over but today was the most glorious autumn sunny sunday. i've managed to do a little painting today in grace's room and managed most of the trim work. it's really starting to look fabulous and although i wish i could click my fingers and have it done just like that, sadly that isn't going to happen and i've actually given myself until the end of the year to have all the interior of the house done. reason why...it's only me doing it and i as much as i wish i had the time and the $$$ all in one hit....nope not going to happen so it'll be slow going but fabulous all the same.

this week has been quite eventful, however then when isn't it?! life is never dull or boring here in our home and most times extreme...yep extreme at both ends of the scale. there are some days you don't see any positive happy moments and other days you do, just wish some times life's road was a little easier traveled then it appears at times.

this week i'm hoping things will be ok and by ok i mean manageable rather then survivable. not too much to ask really...not too much at all!

anyhoo here's a few happy snaps of my girl steph...enjoy!!!

until next bloggin' take care, hugs chris xoxo

busyitis...

2011-02-28T19:47:00.000+11:00

wow sometimes even i'm amazed at how one person can cram so much into one day. that person would be me and i've been on the go in some sort of fashion all day. 1st up was popping one prescription into one pharmacy here in bendigo, this is the only pharmacist that makes this particular drug. with that out of the way next on the list was taking grace to brit so she could enrol in a short course we tried to do last friday but all their systems were down. then it was off down town to grab a few items and grab a quick soy hot chockie, back to the pharmacist to pick up medication, pop to coles to pick up a few groceries and finally head home before the next stage.

stage 2...grab grace and head to 2nd pharmacist to pop other prescription in, head out to kangaroo flat to purchase a gift for steph...we purchased some helium filled balloons with hearts and polka dots which look awesome. then pop into kmart to look at all their goodies on sale...where apparently grace promptly told me i needed new knickers and bras (i hate shopping for underwear) and of course as only a dutiful mother can be...did what i was told...lol, then saw a really nice flower cushion that just screamed at me saying it would be good for the bed ;0) and then with the new undies and bras purchased i needed a new pair of...as grace puts it...granny slippers, so we both picked up a pair!!! headed home.

once home i realised i'd forgotten to pick up medication from the pharmacist so raced back out for that, finally headed home for the evening just in time to start looking at my to do list and make a start on that with emails, agendas, replies and overloading this poor old head of mine. looked at the time which mentioned in no uncertain terms it was 5.45pm and i realise i haven't even started on tea yet. thank goodness it was just going to be simple...yep beef stroganoff with rice and finally after all that i'm here finding time to blog. what a day!!!

the rest of the week doesn't get much better really, so what are you doing this week?!!!

it's the last day of summer here in australia...autumn has already shown itself and i'm happy with that. as much as i love summer for the longer daylight hours and the warm weather, i don't like the hot weather that comes with hideous humidity and you sit drenched day and night in your own sweat....yuk!

anyway yesterday i did a little photo shoot...yes just a wee one out in the garden which was nice...although i don't always have the opportunity to get out and about to take photos, our garden always manages to help out anyway it can.

random pics

that'll do for now as my peace and quiet has just become lost in the noise and demands of a teenager. until next bloggin' pop a smile on ya dial and pay it forward. hugs chris xoxo

relaxing...

2011-02-27T00:15:00.000+11:00

it's been a really ~~lazy~~ relaxing day today and i have enjoyed every minute of it. what a week and trying to keep up with everything has just physically, emotionally and mentally drained and exhausted me. however i've survived and now recharging as much as anyone can ready to head into yet another full week, next week.

today has been a really nice relaxing day and both tim and i needed it. started off with a sleep in thank goodness, then just slowly getting ready and sorted for the day. we headed off to bunnings about lunch time to look at odds and ends needed for the slow job of painting the interior of this home of ours. do we need a 60 minute makeover or what???!!!!!!

from there we've managed to read the saturday papers (a real rarity here), potter about the place and generally do absolutely nothing else but chill out and relax awhile and guess what? it felt great!!! yup...i'm not normally one like that and in fact it's generally a real pet peeve of mine to sit about and not do too much at all. i find it a real waste of time and generally get quite restless, however pottering about helps fill that void...or perhaps my OCD tendencies and allows me to function fairly productively, guilt free.

steph is doing ok...not fantastic, just ok but like all things that create turmoil and mental anguish in our lives it takes time to get back to functioning and feeling somewhat able again. mind you getting to that point can take quite some time and usually with the help and support of others within the medical field to help us in whatever capacity they can for us to be able to heal, survive, manage and then move forward. she's not attending school all the time, only when she can manage and that's fine. her health and well being is far more important at the moment then cramming in and trying to manage changes and learning. then for the rest of the time mostly she sleeps and with that sleep i just hope and pray that her emotional and mental state is in part, healing!

blessings come in all disguises and this week has been no exception. tim and i are very grateful to the organisation that came to a need of ours this week. bendigo uniting church outreach were able to help us out in a way i would never have expected. we are truly thankful and grateful for the help given.

so tomorrow, which is actually now technically today, is another day and with it comes another opportunity to reflect and be thankful for who we are. there is beauty in everything god has created!!!

home grown bottle brush...i love it when our natives flower

till next time peeps, may you all be truly blessed. hugs chris xoxo

blergh...

2011-02-21T20:09:00.000+11:00

that's seriously how i feel right about now...blergh!!! mondayitis?! seriously the past few days have been quite eventful and quite full on. so i've had no choice but to prioritise things for now and put things into retrospect. we have a child in crisis at the moment and i'm not at all surprised. new year, new school, new year level, new teachers, change in all that and then the friendship circles she usually sits on the edge have also changed.

the school messed up her timetable, teachers, subjects and of course the bullying started. this is now officially the 3rd week of yr 11 for stephanie but it has not gone off too well and in amongst all the change, stress and anxiety she crashed and burned a little over a week ago, then decided she would try school last thursday and pretty much crashed and burned a little more serious with the school health and well being counsellor calling me. steph was in a pretty bad place mentally and emotionally and he was very concerned for her safety.

so last friday morning was the 1st of 2 meetings...this one was with the school counsellor putting together a plan for her safety and well being, the need to put an end to the bullying once and for all or we take it to the police and then after that it was time for the 2nd meeting for the day with our new family case worker from st lukes. inbetween all this was the urgent phone calls to her doctor, the possibility of a hospital visit and being very very very vigilant.

today was more phone calls, referrals and another home visit from the family case worker too. the wonderful news is steph was able to open up a little to the family worker....tim and i were quite shocked to be honest as today was the 1st time she met him and today i was not expecting anything more then just a plain and simple hi in passing if that at all. now 1st up 3 good helpful reasons for this was...family worker was in stephs safe place and environment...yes here at home. family worker is a male...yes she seems to be able to relate better with the species and 3rd she realises she is desperately in need of help. this is a really really good and positive outcome.

what was even better though was afterwards...yes once the family worker had gone home and she had time to process what took place i went in and asked her what she thought of our new worker...she thought he was quite nice and he had nice blue eyes and not creepy like the others!!! to anyone who lives with someone on the autism spectrum you would know that this is positive...extremely positive because it's great that we get support but if its not the right support then it's all totally pointless and furthermore if our kids can't relate to that person at all then nothing we do will improve on that. this is positive!!!

everything takes a back seat when you have a child in difficulty, everything takes a back seat when you have a child in crisis, everything takes a back seat when you can't let that child out of your sight 24/7 in fear of what they might do....everything including your own life takes a serious back seat because there are priorities and needs greater then anyone elses on this earth, because when you get out of the numb feeling and reality hits you like you can never imagine, the final words that come out of your mouth to the those you need to speak with and to those who need to know are...i'm not losing my daughter because someone else caused her harm...i'm not losing my daughter because those idiots won't stop bullying and tormenting her, i'm not losing my daughter and once again i will fight for her rights and i will fight to keep her here.

i am tired of seeing her in pain and anguish, i'm tired of seeing her suffer at the hands of others and i am really fed up with how degrading and how disgusting these people make her feel. no more...it stops here and now!!!

life moves on...sometimes in ways we would rather prefer not, sometimes in ways that seem ok. life is a journey, one that is unique and necessary to each and every one of us. however the journey of life is the same for all, just how we choose to walk it, how we choose to overcome the obstacles and how we choose to be part of it will all depend on what we feel is important and most of all what we feel and know is right. our experiences, our knowledge and our strengths all have a part to play, what we value, what we bring and more importantly how we bring it all together for the good and benefit of others. life is precious and it is worth fighting for...every single breath of every single day!!!

hugs chris xoxo

ooops...

2011-02-15T21:24:00.001+11:00

i'm sorry...sincerely so for not posting an update on my blog sooner...but if anyone knows me well enough you'll know it's simply because i've been flat out busy lately and time had not been on my side. so this is what i've been up to since my past update...ready?!...ok

secretary, website admin, administrator, wife, newsletter put togetherer, shopper, house keeper, painter, artist, chief organiser, cook, psychologist, nurse, sorter, postie, mum, full time carer, advocate, spokes person, database admin, furniture removalist, taxi driver, liaison officer, counselor, wife, president, promoter, baker, registration officer, book keeper, bookings officer.......shall i go on?

i could add so much to this list like so many others i know...and amazingly enough if i went for paid employment with the criteria listed as such to be fulfilled, not only would i be qualified but the wage/salary a year would be rather financial. amazingly enough though i don't get paid for any of the above and certainly not on any professional level.

just imagine if i charged anywhere (depending on skill required) from $35.00 to $150 an hour...no one could afford to employ me, yet that's reality if i was in paid employment ,oh and 24/7 not just 6-8 hours a day and working a 38+ hour a week...let's take how much it pays to be a paid carer...the cost per hour from an agency/provider is around $35.06 an hour and that's without benefits (travel costs etc). now lets bring reality into this and see the difference.

shall i do the sums...yeh ok $35.06 an hour for let's say 9am to 5pm, 5 days a week = $1402.40 or 7 days = $1963.36

i am officially a carer to 4 family members and i get on the average around $200 a fortnight for being their full time carer...24/7 yep that's right 24 hours a day (on call from the hours of 1am through to 6am) and 7 days a week!!!

hummmmm something tells me that our 'reality' (the one we are living) is very different to people who simply have no idea......puts things into perspective doesn't it?!!!

anyhoo as i mentioned i've been a little busy...first up i started painting grace's room and have yet to do the trims and of course floor boards. so imagine grape sparkle for the walls, ceiling and cornices white, trims (window sill, skirting boards etc) vivid white (high gloss) and although won't be done for a while all floorboards once we've pulled up carpet, old lino and tiles will be painted black. i must say it's looking good.

all bedrooms will have the colours that the kids have chosen so for grace it's grape sparkle, isaac wants black walls, steph purple walls, our bedroom will be charcoal grey, the dining/kitchen and lounge will be deep charcoal grey, bathroom, loo and laundry all white and all rooms will have trims in vivid white, ceilings will be white and all floors will be black. kitchen however will have new doors put on the cupboards and done in high gloss black and as we have dark furnishings it's going to look awesome. everyone is happy (yay) with the colour choice and if grace's room is anything to go by already...wow!

oh i can hear you all now...take pics and let's us see and here i am saying yep i will but and yes there is a but...lol. this is going to be a project that will take time. we want to do one room at a time and it will be done as we can afford to do them but we are hopeful that by the end of this year, yes i know that seems like forever but remember that i'm a wee bit busy and we are on a very very tight budget, we will have everything done.

of course if anyone wishes to help by financing this adventure then we'll be only to happy to get things done quicker...lol ahhh wouldn't it be nice if we won a major makeover and i didn't have to do all the work...now that would be bliss!!! so as you can see we are keen, we are limited in time and budget but by doing this ourselves and when we can, the sense of accomplishment and achievement will be pretty darn awesome.

so as each room is completed over this year we will take photos and we will share our home interior decorating on a seriously tight budget with oodles of love...you'll just have to be patient (and so will i). ♥

ok sadly the photography has taken a back seat for now just because i'm busy however i have so many photo's sitting on my pc that i'm just gonna pop random ones in here and there from times past...enjoy!!!

oh and i almost forgot silly me but check out the latest layout...yep even managed a little creativity and so this is my first official digital layout for 2011, i am feeling quite a sense of accomplishment lately. ♥

grace on her 18th

credits:

one beautiful day - natali design
font - riesling

i've rambled on long enough and it's time for a pinterest fix so i'm outta here...toodles and take care, hugs chris xoxo

back to school...

2011-02-08T00:06:00.000+11:00

today was our first day back to school, officially and although steph is our only kid that's going it still seemed unusual to have had such a huge break and then smack....it's hit like a brick. although she was somewhat anxious about a new school, new year level, new environment, new classrooms, new teachers...well hell yeh..new everything, it appears she managed quite well considering she was very nervous, but i guess the next few days will tell.

she has slept most of this evening and only just woke up to say goodnight and head back to bed. i'm hoping her 'school' routine will fall into place soon and fall into place well so her day and her night (sleep) is back to her kinda 'normal'.

today was busy with lots of BAAG business and i'm pleased with where everything is at and heading. i have some thankyou letters to be done and they will be drafted tomorrow and sent as soon as i'm happy with the content but by the end of the week for sure. we had our first coffee and chat morning last saturday and it was sooo exciting to see 5 new families turn up even considering the weather being absolutely dreadful, flash flooding everywhere and i was considering cancelling just because it wasn't safe to be on the roads. thankful i didn't and it was just so exciting to meet and chat with all our new families we welcomed in to our support group.

i'm in the middle of my first digital lo with what seems like forever...although i've recently got back into paper scrapping, i'd popped the digi away for probably the best part of the last 3 or 4 months...bad huh?! so i got to hog my own pc all day (yep hijacked it and stole it back from my 15 yr old son) and caught up with quite a few things necessary including a new digi lo. can't show ya though as i'm not quite done with it yet but when i am i'll pop it on here.

tomorrow i have a meeting at st lukes and will be meeting with our new family case worker. i'm hesitant at the moment as things seem to be plodding along fairly ok but at the same time if they can be of use throughout the year then i'm taking it. mind you i'm the one directing this whole thing so i can direct the focus and attention where it's best needed.

anyhoo gonna leave it there for tonight but before i go i'll leave you with a pic or 2.

till next time take care, hugs...chris xoxo

summer has finally hit...

2011-02-02T23:27:00.000+11:00

and i don't like it!!! i don't like it!!! i don't like it!!! i mean seriously i never have as i'm more the cooler weather kinda gal. i love the longer hours in summer and i love the warm weather but not the hot, dry, humid, muggy days where all you do is sweat, can't sleep at night and just feel blergh!!!!

i keep telling myself to stay busy, don't focus on the heat, just go about the everyday stuff and i'll be right...it's still hot!!! tim really doesn't cope in the heat and it's like he hits being the old man every summer with grumblings and grandpa naps often which only adds to my frustrations because i feel like we miss too much by not doing awhole lot of anything...that makes sense doesn't it?!

feeling for all our fellow aussies in north queensland with cyclone yasi making its way too shore. it's the worst cyclone ever in our history. last time they had a category 5 was in 1918...almost 100 years ago and it's going to hit hard. i'm praying for safety, i'm praying that all our fellow aussies although in their time of need will get through this even though many of them are scared. i'm praying that no lives are lost...buildings can be replaced but human lives cannot be. i'm praying that god protects them all. ♥♥♥

we met lance's driving instructor today...she says he's ready to actually go for his p's...the only problem is he doesn't have his full 120 hours of driving experience but tomorrow she is looking into how he and grace could be made exempt. problem then is if lance is able to be exempt from the full 120 hours, he has no car to drive and tim and i won't let him drive the new holden, it's our only car. so i'm concerned as it'll cause more difficulties...a licence but no car, i don't like the thought of that at all.

anyhoo i'm just making it a short post tonight...can't seem to focus...kinda been one of those days today but i'll leave you with a pic or 2...3 or 4...enjoy!!!

these were taken back a few weeks ago when spring was in the air. ciao for now, chris xoxo

new site...

2011-01-30T22:07:00.002+11:00

as if i didn't have enough to keep myself busy i've added a new site to my ever growing list of online places. this one is solely a place to post my photos...my blog will remain active just the same as it always was but i bit the bullet and decided it was time to have a website for my photos. view it here...chris turnbull photography.

now i've said it before but i'll say it again i am not a professional photographer, i just love the creativity and memory keeping photography allows me and consider it a very serious hobby of mine. photography is my passion and i love it!!!

so i'm very happy for you to pop on over there as well and check my photography out and as i find time i'll add more pages and bits and pieces...just have to be patient ;)

onto other news...it's hot yep summer has finally hit 2 months later after it officially started in december....i'm not a hot summers day kinda gal, i love warm weather but spring and autumn are my fave months and summer doesn't quite sit as well. anyway we've had pretty odd weather this summer and the forecast looks like we'll have cooler days inbetween the hot ones so that's going to be quite a welcome reprieve.

yesterday tim, steph and i started on grace's room. we finally cleaned and washed walls, sanded back a couple of areas, sealed the new plaster wall finally and popped one coat of paint on the ceiling and cornices already. it's too hot for the next couple of days to do the extra coat on the ceiling and cornices but in a couple of days we should be right to finish the last of that only to look at sanding back the window sill a little more and really bring the colour in. grace has chosen a wattyl paint colour called grape sparkle for her walls and vivid white for the trims. vivid white will also be the chosen colour for all the trims right through the house and yesterday we finally decided on what colour we will be doing the floorboards. with all the colours chosen for each room we felt a dark colour for the floorboards would be great so we're looking at a charcoal grey for it. we can all visualise it although i'm sure everyone of us will be slightly different with that but still with the other colours we have picked it'll be perfect.

anyhoo gotta go...time to pick up a child of mine from a friends but before i leave here's a pic...

till next time take care and hugs...chris xoxo

not always doom and gloom...

2011-01-27T23:19:00.000+11:00

although there are many days that you wonder how on earth you survive, there are the days, although rare that just go so well that you really have to pinch yourself and hard to make sure it's not a dream. today has been one such day. i got out on my own this morning to run some errands, grab a few things from the shops, purchase a v rocker gaming chair for isaac and take some much needed time out from 'home' life. i absolutely loved it and managed to get everything done that had to be done for a thursday.

after getting home i mentioned to hubby i wanted to pop out to bunnings to grab some ceiling paint, look at white paint for trims (amazing how many different shades there are but i've had my eye on vivid white for awhile) for window sills, door frames, skirting boards etc right through the house, grab some mdf and black chalkboard paint. we managed everything but the trim....that comes next pay day and also gives us time to start cleaning down walls, ceilings, the trimmy bits that need to be painted and perhaps even get rid of some more carpet and toss it out.

today we also changed isaac's room around. we had talked about it over the past few days with him so he knew what we wanted to do and he gave us permission although somewhat hesitant when it came to the real deal. the only thing left to do there is paint his room (colours chosen), rip up the carpet, purchase new curtains and paint the floor boards with either oil or paint (haven't decided fully yet)...yep all the hard work is left to do...lol. however by changing his room around today the way we want it before we do the redecorating, hopefully he will manage the change really well. last time tim changed his room around isaac freaked out but we're managing that so much better now and planning it to so it's all quite a successful transition from one colour to another.

we purchased him a v rocker gamers chair from target this morning as seen below. something i had been wanting to by him since last year and something i finally managed today as target had them on sale and i simply couldn't resist or wait any longer. it is the reason and mojo behind isaac's room needing to be rearranged today and it's all been quite successful. i am so happy with the outcome so far!!!!!

isaac loves it...yep he has already made good use of the v rocker gamers chair and must say...for an old gal i'm pretty darn hip...lol. ok three pics below...latest random photos i've had fun being a little creative with...enjoy!!!

short and sweet tonight, boys are watching ufc, girls are watching movies in their rooms, i'm here blogging and over on pinterest...oh how i love this site ♥♥♥ and if you pop on over there don't blame me for getting hooked :) hugs chris xoxo

can you feel it...

2011-01-25T23:47:00.000+11:00

no i'm not singing a mj song but i am sitting here at my pc blogging away after what has been quite a busy and productive hot summers day, feeling the evenings beautiful cool breeze coming through the open windows and doors listening to the rain and taking in the silence.....bliss!!!

today i feel blessed and although there have been so many difficult times, challenging moments and huge hurdles in recent months...i truly feel blessed!!! i have some pretty awesome online friends i network with, i have the most wonderful committee i work with (in real life), i have the most incredible husband that supports me and is by my side through all the good and bad times but mostly i feel blessed because i am able to help support others in need and that's pretty incredible.

i would like to mention that there is a very dear family i have come to admire and love over the past couple of years who are going through an incredibly difficult situation right now. my heart, my thoughts and mostly my prayers are with them as they deal with the situation they are in presently and although i know their faith and knowledge that God is in control, it is still a time of uncertainty for them. i know God is gracious and his mercy is everlasting. i know our prayers are being heard and i know that sometimes when our journey in life has obstacles that we feel may be almost impossible to overcome that our faith and his peace is what keeps us going.

just to finish up for the night i'm posting some random pics i took about 3 years ago.

ok so there you go...i'm outta here...hugs chris xoxo

restless...

2011-01-23T00:20:00.000+11:00

ever get those days that no matter how much you sleep you wake up feeling pretty darn exhausted and have no real explanation for it? well if you have then you know how it makes you and your day pretty restless. that's happened twice for me this past week and although i slept quite well, boy did waking up take it out of me. anyway today was one of those days and usually i just focus on doing things about the place to keep my mind busy so i'm not too overwhelmed with exhaustion but it sucks when you're pretty restless and can't seem to sit still or stay put doing one thing till it's finished.

however i did managed making the bed, tiding our room a little, clean down the dining table, pop a new lace runner on it along with some gorgeous birds i purchased from a fabulous new store called oliver birch right here in bendigo, place a set of 3 new glass candle holders in our bedroom on our new bed side tables (which i'm slowly redecorating), rearrange a couple of pieces in the dining room, managed hanging a load of washing on the line, look through a couple of decorators mags, empty the garbage, take out the recycles, go and pick up grace from the boyfriends, read the paper, make jugs of cordial, make jugs of iced tea, go and lie down for 40 mins and rest the eyes (too tired to actually sleep but it worked), cook tea, eat and was desperate to get out early this evening and take a couple of pics....all this on a saturday in the middle of summer...on a hot day....my goodness!!! <---------yep i sure was restless alright!!!

anyway really enjoyed the photo outing tonight, not only was it nice to get out with tim and steph in tow, but getting out in the fresh air in the cool of the evening is just what the doctor ordered and as if by magic my restlessness was cured. so here i am sitting at my pc, blogging and editing some pics while listening to and watching ww2 lost stories on the tv with the boys. yes i'm multi tasking or...is it the fact that maybe...just maybe that cure for my restlessness was short lived and i simply can't focus on one thing and finish it...oh well seeing as it's been one of those days, i've managed to get quite a bit done.

oh and before i forget here's some photo's from tonight's little outing i took of the bendigo cathedral...enjoy!

ok i'm outta here for the night...you all take care out there, hugs xoxo

another day ends...

2011-01-20T00:54:00.000+11:00

yes it's late, in fact it's already tomorrow here and it's been a busy day. paperwork done, updates, emails, phone calls, agenda, printing and pretty much most of it in regards to bendigo autism asperger group. so i'm pleased with what i've been able to catch up on, list what still needs to be done over the next couple of weeks and organise everything else necessary for the next committee meeting which will actually be the first for the new year.

life is we know it is back to 'normal'...lol although kids are still on holiday and not scheduled to go back to school till the 4th of feb. so for those of us still on holidays...how are you managing? for us it's been a relief, less busy in the way of no school runs or lunches to pack or the need to worry about homework but it's still been busy, it's just been busy in different ways.

good news...lance had his first professional driving lesson today with a driving instructor. he told her he had autism and she needed to be clear with her instructions. she replied that she understood as she has a couple of kids she teaches that have aspergers syndrome...oh a lucky break to have the right instructor. i feel quite confident that lance will manage. more good news is that she also mentioned to lance that he was an excellent driver and if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't have his 'official' driving hours yet that he would have no worries in getting his licence. so i also feel pleased about this. that's a good report for the first 'professional' lesson and allows tim and i to relax a little more on the 'driving' side of things for when lance does get his licence and is driving...um...on his own...not being supervised...clear terrible thoughts out of my head...be positive chris...he.will.be.fine!!!

just a short and sweet post tonight...or tomorrow whichever way one wishes to think about it. tomorrow is a busy day as i am meeting a carer in the morning as her partner was recently diagnosed with aspergers syndrome and she is going through a rough patch. then steph has another doctors appointment to see how her plantar wart on her foot is going since it was frozen and tomorrow night i'm meeting with the treasurer to catch up on some paperwork before our next committee meeting. i'll be ready to pop my feet up with a cup of tea and biscuit when the day is done.

you know how i ♥ b&w photography...well if you don't you should because i ♥ it heaps...the textures, tones, shades and details is enough to send me into a frenzy. i see so much more in a b&w photos then i do in coloured, there is just seems to be so much more to look at. anyway i will leave you with the latest batch...enjoy!!!

as it's way past my bedtime and i have a busy day later on...it's time for me to head to bed so goodnight, sleep well and sweet dreams, hugs chris xoxo

the weekend is here...

2011-01-16T00:16:00.003+11:00

and i'm grateful for the fact that after such a difficult week today has been ok. yes we've had our own turmoil here at home with our son lance. 2 meltdowns in one week leaves the rest of the family emotionally drained and exhausted. we've been watching his anxieties build now since before christmas, we knew we needed to keep things calm and still but even for our family the past 2 months have been far from that. there have been some very serious issues that have caused this family and in particular myself a great deal of emotional unrest and angst.

to be quite honest the past 2 months have been quite unsettling and somewhat disturbing to say the least. there were days i was in tears, days i stayed in bed, days i just wanted to stop this planet and get off but with a wonderful group of friends and my family, i managed to get through that pretty dark time. no i'm not sick or anything like that, however i was put in the middle of a firing line with me being the target and found myself needing advice and help due to circumstances that were completely out of my control. that left me completely bewildered and totally baffled that anyone could do something like that. however with my family by my side, wonderful friends there as well, i'm ok...and i know that everything else will be ok.

so you can imagine the high levels of anxieties running through the home and with that and lance's already fairly full tank pretty much every day the stress, sensory overload and difficulties got too much for him and he crashed and burnt twice. monday night was the first and we had to tiptoe on egg shells and then sedate him because he was just completely out of sorts and very unstable then thursday night after another tough day, another mouthful of threats, another day of tiptoeing on eggshells lance got to his wits end and put his hand through one of our glass doors.

why do i blog about things like this....this is my journal, my therapy and my way of raising awareness on autism spectrum disorders. there is nothing easy about someone having an asd, there is nothing 'normal' about someone having an asd, there are days where it is bad, then there are days that are even worse, there are times that even as a parent having a child (or 3) on the spectrum is the most challenging and difficult situation to ever be in. there is nothing 'normal' about asd's and i have many parents/carers/individuals that are impacted by autism spectrum disorders that follow my blog and know first hand what i'm saying and even though lance is 19...it does not get better as they get older.

damage done...lance won...door lost, completely smashed to pieces and lance ended up in the emergency room after he had calmed down and it was safe to deal with him. as things were still quite unsettling i spoke to the triage nurse and asked if he could check the wound and see if it needed stitches, that in light of the circumstances that if we had to wait for any length of time we would not cope...he said it was possible, keep it clean and gave me steri strips to pop on. we came home and well it really did need to be stitched we've kept it clean but it has bleed a bit although that's good news as the blood supply is fresh and getting to the wound but it should have had stitches to keep the skin flap intact.

on a more positive note i was going to apply for a job. a casual photographers position with bendigo magazine. i've not worked since before lance was born so almost 20 years, i'm not an academic and i've never even put together a resume. but one of my friends brought this job to my attention and thought i was good enough to apply. so i started on my resume and pretty much had it done. i was still umming and arrring about it come thursday and then when lance had his 2nd meltdown for the week i realised that looking for work and if successful actually having a job was not for me just yet...nope sadly and just for now, it really is the wrong timing.

for any parent/carer out there and for those that may not have ever thought about this....i've sacrificed everything for my children and even more. because i am their full time carer and no i don't mean that i'm their mum...i am also officially their full time carer because 3 of them have a disability and i'm recognised as a carer to them by government departments...hubby and i can't do the things we dreamed off for our children, we've had to put so much of that on hold and now with no income and very little $$$ each fortnight it is extremely difficult. imagine not being able to always feed your children from day to day because the bills that keep coming in every fortnight apparently have to be paid too and with all the utilities rising quite a bit...that means only one thing...sacrificing even more....our income doesn't go up we get no more $$$ when the utilities go up to be able to pay for the increase so once again we sacrifice even more. oh and don't forget all the medical expenses...yep still enough of those. so although it may seem like i'm complaining, i'm really just trying to let people know that being a parent and carer to people with a disability is quite a challenge in many ways. it simply takes both tim and i to care for these kids and our eldest son requires most of our attention...that in itself is incredibly exhausting.

ok 'nuf of those ramblings...today i was inspired by looking through some beautiful blogs that are just full of inspiration for the home...if only i had the time...if only we had the $$$...if only i had help...oh wouldn't it be bliss... i want to do so much in our house and the list is growing longer everyday. it's desperate to be painted, the ceilings are actually peeling in the kitchen/dining and lounge area. the floors are falling to pieces and the carpet simply has to go. we need to pull all the carpet up we laid 12 years ago as it's just yuk and no matter how much carpet cleaning is done it's time for it to go. the shower glass is all broken, sink cabinet is rotting through, the floor tiles in the bathroom, toilet and laundry are mostly lifted and broken, the pantry door is in pieces, most of the internal doors need to be replaced again as through meltdowns many of them have holes and no longer close properly. front door and back door are literally just hanging in their with repair after repair and the back door has had to have temporary boards put on it as in another meltdown that door was taken out completely...once again door lost and lance broke his hand.

the list goes on and on and sadly i have to face reality...most things won't get done but still there is inspiration and that's what keeps me going when i feel the house is falling down around us and the fact that i try to keep it as homely as one can. ok better get some links to some blogs so you can see why i feel so inspired and drooling big time with the very first link here fiona and twig then there is tarnished and tattered and then my desert cottage oh how i ♥ these and what i saw today.

pics for the day...yep in amongst it all i took a few quick photos today and here they are...

look at that little cutie pie above, she is absolutely gorgeous and we think we are keeping her. yesterday grace found her on a walk around the block, problem is kitty kept following her, all of maybe 4-6 weeks old and didn't seem to have any other place to go. we suspected where she came from and asked grace to take her back. 1st try...cars in driveway, doors open, knocked plenty and loudly and then still no answer...cat comes back after more loving and once again realising that this cat just like the last one (tilly) was in a pretty bad state...skin and bone and starved. so 2nd try...take her back up there, cars in driveway, doors open, knocked loudly and nothing, so she was put inside the door. thought that was that and all was well until i had to take one of the kids friends home at about 10.45pm when i needed to call tim out to help me with the gps (another story for another time...lol). as i was just about to reverse the car tim told me not to go anywhere and after questioning why, he bent down and picked up that beautiful kitten that had been tossed back aside to fend for itself and managed to find her way back to us. i can't believe people can be so heartless and so very cruel. so that did it for me i was down right cross and she wasn't going back. the poor thing has settled in well and loves us all and in light of her ordeals she is cuddly as anything the only downside at the moment is she had fleas as well and plenty of them. so we've bathed here twice with flea shampoo, and pulled fleas out galore. she will continue with the daily flea baths and combings until i am satisfied they are all gone. thankfully she hasn't really been close to the other animals and we've also sprayed and cleaned any bedding that she may have come in contact with. the other animals will be bathed and kept an eye on for any flea manifestations but i'm doubtful they will have them....we keep our animals clean and protected from those hideous things.

anyhoo think that'll do for tonight...this ramble is a long one...lol, ok take care, hugs chris xoxo

my heart breaks...

2011-01-12T18:40:00.004+11:00

for all our fellow aussies who have been devastated by the floods ripping through queensland...making their way into brisbane and causing total devastation to everything in the path they have created. tears have filled my eyes countless times as i've watched the news, youtube videos, listened to and heard stories of how destructive these floods are.

thankfully our family members living in brisbane are safe and that gives me piece of mind as well, sadly many other families have not been so lucky with the death toll rising, people unaccounted for and the number of loved ones missing is rising and yet the worst is meant to come.

mother nature has truly dished out more then our continent, country and nation can deal with in the past 10 years. drought, bushfires and now the worst flooding ever in the history of our nation. the impact of the flooding is horrendous...1000's of people have lost their homes, belongings and personal possessions, 1000's more have had to evacuate and leave everything behind. countless rescues and tragic stories but one thing that i am proud to say...when australia and her fellow country people are in need, we know only all too well how to come to the aid, support and help of them all.

this largest natural disaster in our history is incredible, no words in our language can really describe the impact not only now or next week, or in a month, or when the clean up really starts, the recovery operation will be enormous, will take billions of $$$ and years of rebuilding not only physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. i'll leave you with a couple of photo's that have been taken by those near to the floods to show you just how destructive this flooding is. these images are not mine and credits are given on site which have been taken from couriermail.com.au...warning some images may be distressing to viewers!

to all my fellow aussies...my prayers and thoughts are with you. stay safe xoxo

weekend post...

2011-01-08T14:20:00.001+11:00

finally saturday has arrived although it's hot and i'm feeling a tad exhausted. i use to hate the weekends...why? simply because they were just as busy, in a different kinda way, then the week and there was no time for much needed emotional and mental relaxing and recharging which for our family we really need. things are different now and for tim and i, we get that option a little every now and then and today will be one of those times. mainly because it's simply to hot to do anything else other then sit and read or watch tv, do a little online surfing and updating, scrapping or pretty much very little or not much at all...my kinda day!

i'm hooked...yep apart from all the other wee little obsessions i have i'm hooked on pinterest and boy do i heart this site. not only do you have the chance to create your very own boards of all things you love (photos, scrapping layouts, own art work etc) but wow what an incredible site for all things inspirational. you get to search through and fall in love with other pinner's goodies and pin those to your board as well. oh and you can check out my boards here and hope you enjoy them. what's not too love about this site?!!!!

another little bit of news is that i'm closing the group i started on facebook called i ♥ someone on the autism spectrum, however to navigate and make things easier i've started a 'fan' page i love someone on the autism spectrum. i'm bummed that with the fan page rules that i can't use the heart symbol or all lower case letters but nevertheless we are the same. so for all those incredible people out there affected by an autism spectrum disorder in some way, whether you have an asd, care for a loved one with an asd or are generally interested, please pop on over and like the page. you can view the page here...i love someone on the autism spectrum.

my plans for the page are simple...share our story, experiences and knowledge with others walking the same journey, try to have up to date information on asd's, advertise BAAG events etc and of course to be an online support group to all of those that need a little place on the net to chat, vent, ask and be there for others. so please pop on over and join.

ok then i think that'll do for today so please remember to head over to the new fan page on facebook and click like and i wish each and everyone of you the most wonderful of weekends. i'll leave you with the last of the heritage icon/landmark boxing day photo shoot pics i took.

take care, hugs chris, xoxo

midweek photos...

2011-01-05T20:02:00.000+11:00

january...1st official midweek/wednesday for 2011 already and here i am taking the time to blog...yay me!!! anyhoo it is wednesday...it is the 1st week of january and it is 2011 and while watching the zoo on tv i thought i would grab a moment and ramble on about nothing much and add some more photos as well.

hubbies watering the front garden, steph is watching the zoo on tv as well, isaac is on the laptop, grace is getting ready to head out the door and lance is keeping busy too. the dogs are quiet for now, little puss is sleeping and itty bitty kitty aka tilly is going totally crazy chasing anything that moves in sight...ahhh such is life hey?!

seriously though it's not always like this and this afternoon was quite different with lance close to major meltdown mode and having to tip toe around the house on egg shells......ahhhh yes this is what is normal for our family and another little glimpse into the turnbull household and life as we know it well.

i'm quite happy today as i've cleaned up the office area and although some filing needs to be done and more official BAAG business needs to be sorted and dealt with, there is no hurry to have it finished tonight. i'm also keen to get some much needed scrapping done over the next few days as i want to start scrapping the 2011 calendar i purchases last year.

well that's about it from me for tonight...enjoy the little update and the photos posted below which i took on boxing day of old heritage landmarks etc etc down town eaglehawk.

not quite a heritage shed out back of the old court house

view of door - old log cabin lockup

love the old post box and love the detail in the above photos

outside wall of old log cabin lockup

old court house

space in between 2 old buildings - town hall and mechanics institute

over the next day or 2 i'll post a few more photo's from this shoot so until then be happy, hugs chris xoxo

it begins...

2011-01-04T11:08:00.000+11:00

yes the holidays for me have finished and i'm back to the daily busyness of appointments, meetings, catching up with emails, web updates, newsletters (all on an official status) and so on and so forth. kids are still on holidays which is nice but now i'll need to juggle and balance my time on my pc with my youngest because he is right into runescape and is using my pc for his gaming at the moment. so i'm updating my blog early this morning (tuesday 4th jan) before the kid wakes up and grabs my pc for the day. once he's on, it takes a little bit of persuasion to get him off.

i am hoping you all enjoyed your christmas and new year and guess what...it's all over for another year....wow how fast did the time go? anyhoo my wish to all is that 2011 is a good year. i know that 2010 was a pretty tough year for many of us and that includes our family. not only is it important to have a positive attitude to help things along but i believe it's important to keep harmony and balance in your life so we can manage the day to day difficulties we face.

so from me to all of you...i wish 2011 a prosperous, happy, rewarding, balanced and wonderful year full of inner peace and calm and that every day you find the good and positive in all that comes your way.

just a few pics i took of our christmas table decs. enjoy!! wishing you health and happiness, hugs chris xoxo

post christmas joy...

2010-12-29T12:58:00.001+11:00

as quick as it arrived, christmas has just as quickly gone for another year. how was your christmas? ours was quiet...we have been desperate to do that for the past few years and this year we finally achieved it. however it wasn't without some angst as this year's festivities were different this time to any other year and no matter how well we prepared the kids, it doesn't always work out as well as one hopes. however we survived and we're all still intact...complete with our sanity.

2 days before christmas was grace's 18th birthday and although it was celebrated at home very quietly and went as well as it could be it was sad to know that we couldn't do more. we don't or can't do things that many other families can or do...grace misses out on so much because of the needs of our other 3 kids and as a mum it can really get me down to know the truth and realise our reality.

as a mother to 4 teens and full time carer to 3 of them with autism i find tim and i sacrifice so much and miss out on so much more just to be able to manage on a daily basis. anyone who thinks it's an easy call being a parent of 3 kids with special needs obviously couldn't be further from the truth. it's tough....in actual fact it's sometimes beyond comprehension and it's increasingly overwhelming. for those that think as they get older and become adults that a) autism and certain other disorders simply stop and they don't have it anymore or b) they get better....really have no idea. i have been told by people who don't know any better both of the above and sadly they are both misconceptions and couldn't be further from the truth.

anyhoo it's obvious i needed to vent a little as the ramblings on in today's post have gone that way. the beauty of being able to 'journal' is the beauty to be able to do so straight from the heart.

so with new years just around the corner how will you be celebrating? for our family once again quietly and ferrying a couple of kids to and fro with their plans but it will be quiet here for the most part. do you make new years resolutions? for me no....certainly not like most people anyway. i'm not one to mention i'd like to lose weight or spend more time following my passions, earn more money, give up bad habit's etc etc because for me it's very different and it's all about achieving those things that many families and individuals take for granted.

in the new year i'd like to think that my youngest son isaac who is 15 may finally be able to have help with his anxieties so we can manage to take him down to a shoe store and purchase a much needed new pair of shoes. with careful planning and serious help and support i am hoping this can be achieved. i'm also hoping that the next 'phase' with a new service provider for our family (st lukes) will help our family achieve the small requests made to them and that they can help the kids with their needs. disability client services - department of human services have seriously let our family down and we have asked them to now leave us be and close our files.

so as to setting, making or wishing for new years resolutions i hope for those of you that set them, make them and or wish for them that the new year is a fresh start, a new beginning and at least some of those resolutions come to pass. my wish for all of you is with a fresh start and a new beginning to a new year comes peace, joy and hope.

i thought i'd leave you with a few photo's of the gorgeous grace on her 18th. there's a couple more pics to come but i need to get them off her flash drive and edit them so this lot will have to suffice.

of course grace is totally gorgeous and that smile of hers is beautiful. those braces are doing their job and well. ok hugs and ciao xoxo

merry christmas...

2010-12-24T16:48:00.000+11:00

i can't believe that it's christmas eve here already with santa arriving tonight bearing gifts for all those who have been good. our weather has finally decided to give us a summer jolt and from what has been quite cold and wet rainy weather, we've been hit with a little heat wave for the past 2 days. tomorrow sadly won't be a white christmas here but it's nice to think we may have come a little close to it for this part of the world.

i would like to wish you and your families a very merry christmas and a wonderful holiday season. i hope you have a wonderful day spending it with loved ones and that peace and joy be upon you all. may god's blessing fall upon you richly and you all stay safe over this very busy period.

yep that's our cheeky itty bitty kitty in the bathroom sink and as you can see she's quite comfortable....lol. merry christmas to all of you, hugs chris xoxo

happy 18th birthday grace...

2010-12-22T22:18:00.000+11:00

although this post is one day early i realise tomorrow (grace's 18th) i simply won't have time to blog so it's happening now. yep the girl grace turns 18 tomorrow...can you believe that? 18 i mean where have all those years gone? and the fact is she has really grown up as well and perhaps that's because it's the normal neurotypical way.

so i just wanna say one thing...happy 18th birthday grace, wishing you a fabulous day, knowing that from here on it can only be forward and so very proud of what you've achieved under the incredibly difficult circumstances our family has endured and still does. we're proud of you, we love you and we are so incredibly thankful for you being in our lives. enjoy your birthday girl! xoxoxo

so the 'silly season' is with us again and i'm all done...yep the gift shopping and the food shopping is all done. as for thinking i would not be organised this year i am and the gifts were wrapped tonight and are already under the tree waiting for xmas day to adorn us in all it's brilliance. i've even organised the menu and will start the cooking and baking friday and then once xmas day is here it will just be a matter of sitting down and celebrating with family.

anyhoo i won't keep you long tonight, i'm a bit pooped myself as it's been quite a busy week but i will leave you with some photo's for you to enjoy.

oki doki all updated for the night, till next post, take care...hugs chris xoxo

another update...

2010-12-15T20:43:00.000+11:00

wow i'm bloggin' again...lol so soon after the last one...that's almost a record for me at the moment and although i know it hasn't ended the bloggin' drought, it must be pretty darn close.

the build up to christmas is pretty crazy and i must say that even though i had no plans to allow this christmas to be like last year (which sucked and was an all time low as we had no $$$ for gifts and i was sick for days in bed), sadly things are just as tough.

i know there are a few families struggling to make ends meet at this time of year...us included and this morning as i allowed my thoughts to catch up with me (or get away) i realised that even though christmas is a time for sharing, a time for giving, a time for family and a time for love...it doesn't help how terribly guilty and bad parents feel for not being able to manage much of anything at all simply because the $$$ that come in don't stretch far enough at the moment and there is absolutely nothing we can do about it.

normally i don't blog about financial matters because usually i don't wish the entire world to know just how tough it can be bringing up a family which i know i'm not alone there...but let's not forget that 3 of our kids have special needs and hubby's sight is pretty limited so that's even tougher.

so, my thoughts on christmas as of today is that i wish it was just a little further away, not 10 days away and with grace's 18th birthday just 2 days before...if christmas was at least another 6 weeks away our family would be able to manage just that little bit better.

the government may say that the GFC is over, however the reality of that is really very different. the GFC is far from over within the family homes trying to make ends meet when every utility has increased its prices, the banks although making billions in profit every year, still feel the need to raise mortgage rates constantly because they believe it's better for the economy, the supermarkets have increased their prices and at the end of the day what families bring in or receive as a wage goes out on trying to survive in the human race which in this day and age is getting harder and harder to keep our heads above water.

this blog update is dedicated to all you families out there doing it tough this christmas (including us here), hiding it from family and friends because of the dignity we have, hoping that a miracle may happen and wishing upon every wish out there that it could be so very different. we're not asking for a hand out, just a hand up but to even venture down that path means telling the truth and that's more then tough...it is pretty impossible.

my wish for all of you is that despite the hard times fallen upon so many of us, this christmas is truly special even without the 'christmas hype' and all that goes with it. remember what's most important and that is family. it does not have to be a large gathering and it may very well be just you, your partner and your children but however you choose to spend this day i hope it is truly wonderful.

before i finish for the evening i thought i would leave you with a couple of photo's that i took recently. enjoy!

remember it's all in the finer details, nothing fancy or expensive and sometimes those finer details can mean so much more if only given the opportunity.

take care...hugs chris xoxo

more photo's...

2010-12-14T16:11:00.002+11:00

so you know how it is...sitting at the pc not quite sure what to do...knowing exactly what you could be doing...but have no mojo whatsoever...sound all to familiar?

yup thought so and of course i've done all the housework one 'needs' to do, checked the emails on all the accounts i need to, even checked into facebook a few times, watched the end of a christmas movie and even started on the last of the advent calendar that's in the process of needing to be finished and still...i feel blah!

anyhoo to liven things up in my wonderfully dull and mojoless day i thought i'd blog...yeh and add a few more photo's simply because i can....lol! enjoy!

well that'll do for today and i hope you enjoy these photo's of mine i've taken. i'm loving the fact that i am making more time to take photos now then in past times...it makes my heart all warm and fuzzy and very very happy! :)

ciao till next time...hugs chris xoxo

formal photos...

2010-12-11T17:04:00.002+11:00

i'm going to keep today's post short and sweet and just fill it up with a few of my latest photo's. steph had her yr 10 formal on the 1st of dec and i love how the pics below turned out, so sit back, enjoy and hope you love them just as much as me. ♥

not a bad bunch of photo's for a hobbyist photographer now hey and that girl if mine is totally gorgeous...till next post ciao and hugs xoxo

oh dear...

2010-11-24T20:48:00.000+11:00

it's been far too long since my last update...ooooooops! not quite my intentions as things were going along so well there for awhile and i had some time to update a little regularly....pfffttt that went by the wayside now hey?!

life has been pretty full on this past month...ahhhh who am i kidding life has been really hectic, quite chaotic and in the mix of it all there has been some really tough stuff to get through.

you all know lance had an operation about 2.5 months ago and we were having a nurse out everyday to tend to his open wound? well for about 2 weeks some silly doctor thought it would be good for a nurse to pop out once every 2 days.....that really messed things up and now nursing is back out everyday to tend to his open wound. we have been back to clinic 3 times now and for the past 6 weeks his wound has not been healing whatsoever...nope not closing and pretty much causing more trouble for the poor kid.

anyway last clinic trip the 2 doctors that saw us are quite concerned about his wound and we go back next week to see whether or not they go back in for more surgery...this time to explore and see what's going on or if it has healed by then he will be placed on the waiting list for the next operation which will be more of a major one. either way we still have one more operation to happen they just can't to the next major one till this darn thing heals up.

lance has managed real well...mostly! there has been the odd moment and i believe that as of this past week his patience has now worn fairly thin and he is more anxious waiting for the nurse to come out each day and simply can't focus on anything else until they have packed and padded the open wound...and left! like i said poor kid!!!

grace has finished school....yes finished for good with the exception of a possible tertiary education in the next year or 2 she is done....wow all those years and it's all over with. anyway considering our family dynamics and her own stress load i think she did fairly well. results come out next month and it'll all depend on what her enter scores are as to whether or not she gets into uni or takes a gap year and gets a job.

steph has just finished exams and finishes school tomorrow. her next path in life is to attend senior secondary and we are just finalising those details now. i have my concerns about that....ahhhh what the heck...i am really worried about her transition and how she is going to manage because of her autism, depression, anxiety, learning difficulties and visual impairment. i have spoken to the school on a couple of occasions and am just waiting for a phone call from one of the assistant principals so we can get together with the disability manager and disability senior officer to see what supports they can offer steph to help her manage her next leap into the mainstream school system.

isaac is now out of school full time, i know i mentioned this in my last post and since then he is doing quite well. that is much better then when he was in school on a very modified program. his anxieties for the most part are under control although he still can't leave the house with the exception of the occasional drive to take another kid elsewhere but that's good and anything else is simply a bonus and you know what?...for the moment i'm not worried at all because we're able to have some much needed breathing space.

ok there is so much more i could say but i won't however i'll leave you with a couple of pics i took recently.

spider web in front garden

charmaine and grace

gorgeous grace

charmaine and grace

gorgeous grace

charmaine

the girls

grace's boyfriend jo and the girl herself

ok outta here, take care and let's hope the next post is a little sooner then this one....far too much time in between. hugs chris xoxo

opportunity...

2010-11-01T13:03:00.001+11:00

thursday night i had the absolute privilege to speak to the y service club of bendigo about bendigo autism asperger group and autism. i had been invited a few weeks back to be guest speaker to this club and so kerry (vice-president) and myself honoured that commitment and had the most wonderful evening. wow what an inspiring organisation! of course i've heard of them and for years but this particular group of men are an inspiration to us all. i was certainly in awe of who they are, what they represent and how amazing they are. no matter their backgrounds, no matter their situations...they truly are a 'brotherhood'.

their motto is..."to acknowledge the duty that accompanies every right"...there's alot of wisdom in that one quote!!!

i must also mention that the presentation went exceptionally well, was very well received and quite a number of questions were asked and all were answered...and i remained calm!!! i am only human after all however i was in perfect 'sync' with presenting...as if i've been doing this for years and seeing as i've only been in the role of president for 3 months...there truly are only more amazing opportunities to come.

oh did i also mention that i received a frame certificate and a mug as a thank you. frame is not yet on the wall as i need to take that to our next committee meeting on the 8th of November and i use the mug for pretty much every cuppa hubby makes me....yep that's his job....the cuppa maker!

ok so what else is new in the turnbull household you may well ask?

apart from

district nursing still coming for lance but now only every 2nd day (last week and this week) and the fact that he needs to go in for more surgery.
isaac now no longer within the school system and is now in a technical phase of a 'deemed enrolment' to at least the end of the year.
grace studying like crazy due to it being exam week with 2 down, 1 today and more to go.
the lead up to transition for steph with the next phase in her life which is yr 11 @ bendigo senior secondary school and the formal coming up for yr 10.
the christmas lead up for our family
the christmas lead up for everyone else
the christmas lead up for baag and up and coming events
committee meetings, appointments, emails, webmails, website events, phone calls, working through the list and all for baag
rearranging the lounge room, dining room and kitchen....readying it for christmas
organising the craft area
dabbling in a little scrapbooking and have a few lo's up my sleeve now both paper and digi
gardening with this beautiful weather we are having
housework....always the housework as that doesn't stop however eternally grateful to the house hubby that i married

i think that might be it...lol yes and as much as i'm certain i've forgotten to mention something...i guess you can tell that life even for us is rather 'flat out' and busy for now...well it's pretty much like that everyday!
so with all that and more to come i'll leave you with one thought...

"if there is no struggle, there is no progress" - frederick douglass

till next time take care, hugs chris xoxo

ahhh...

2010-10-23T17:07:00.001+11:00

the weekend is here at last and it's a beautiful day! just a short update today as i've simply popped in here to show off my latest digital scrapbooking layout. you know....i hate yellow i really really do, however something is really wrong....really really wrong. the last layout and the one in this post have all got yellow in them and wow even i have surprised myself. it's a colour i don't work with very well because i don't really like it however i've explored using it a little on the last 2 lo's, something i would never have done once before.

now don't get me wrong i love yellow in all things nature...yep the flora and fauna species and spring and summer i just strongly dislike it when it comes to much of anything else....however just lately that soft spot for it has taken over and i'm loving it...if only in accessories and not much more. how weird is that?! for me....very but perhaps it's like all things...a passing fad, a little phase of ummmm....something or another mini mid life crisis....lol (oh i do like that excuse). whatever it is i'm sure it won't last long but while it's here i may as well make the most of it....enjoy!

credits: gypsy call - tangie baxter

splatter graffiti - gypsy spirit - tangie baxter
stamped glitter alpha 1 - tangie baxter
bracket shapes - big mats - decrow designs
font - arial

happy weekend, hugs chris xoxo

midweek musings...

2010-10-21T20:32:00.000+11:00

on a thursday! yep i was in here yesterday (wednesday) when blogger decided it was time for maintenance and we couldn't upload any pictures for a few hours so i'm here today doing so. it's been quite a good day, had our monthly thursday coffee and chat morning for members of BAAG and 3 new mums with their darling cherubs come join us. that was just wonderful and for any of you who may read my blog (yep i know ya do) i just wanna welcome you all.

anyhoo have a few more pics uploaded and here they are...enjoy!!

ok well that's kinda it for tonight except to say to all my blog readers...thanks for stopping by it means heaps to me that i actually have followers and i ♥ that! hugs chris xoxo

monday...

2010-10-18T20:17:00.002+11:00

i don't normally like monday's, in fact we really have a love hate relationship. however recently i've had to change my style of thinking on this, more so out of need and necessity then anything else. i've had to make some compromises but now we have a fairly ok working relationship at present and i actually look forward to them.

anyway given the fact that i've been managing my work days a little better then ever before due to some much needed planning, organising and working to a time frame...things have been good and the best part about that is that i've managed to get a little photography in and some much needed scrapping both in paper and digi media and i'm really happy about that.

so while i'm on the subject of scrapping here is my latest digital creation...wishes!

credits: sunny daydreams - kasia designs

font - arial

ok outta here for another day, take care friends, hugs chris xoxo

i ♥ mojo

2010-10-15T20:00:00.000+11:00

yes sirree i surely do and it's been a good week for it as well. anyhoo i've been doing a little photography as you know seeing as the last couple of posts have been busy with uploading plenty of pics and of course some scrapbooking just has to go hand in hand with the photography. i've been doing a little of that as well and created 2 digi LO's and there's a paper LO in progress too. anyhoo here they are and enjoy...

credits: the poets keepsakes - lorie davison - scrapbookgraphics

font: arial (for top LO)

as you can see i ♥ the poets keepsakes by lorie davison....it is so unusual for me to scrap more then 1 LO from the same kit however this kit is exquisite and there is so much in it that you can scrap a few LO's without overdoing it.

ok i'm outta here as i'm off to finish that paper LO while watching the last song with my daughter steph.

have a wonderful weekend, hugs chris, xoxo

more fun...

2010-10-14T16:57:00.000+11:00

yep had a little more time up my sleeve today so managed a little more editing with my photos although it doesn't really take all that long for each pic to be sorted. now i'm no way a professional photographer nor do i profess to be cause the simple truth is i'm not however i just love photography and so being the hobbyist photographer will suffice for now. however one day when i have all the time in the world i would love to take some photography courses and be one step closer to the more amateur photographer i would like to be. in the mean time learning more and working with the very limited time i have will do. ok so here a few pics from today's batch of editing...not lots just a small handful. enjoy!!!

that's all now folks. xoxo

playing with pics...

2010-10-14T00:35:00.000+11:00

i've been playing with a couple of my faves toys lately which is a miracle in itself and something that's been a long time coming. my canon EOS 1000D DSLR camera, adobe photoshop and adobe lightroom and i ♥ the fact that i've recently made time to fiddle and play with all these lately. even better is how i really love the way my pics have turned out and i hope you enjoy my latest collection of photo's.

not a bad bunch hey. anyway i hope you enjoy these photo's as much as i did taking them and spending time playing around and editing them. enjoy, hugs chris xoxo

facebook group...

2010-10-12T11:40:00.000+11:00

i thought it was time to start a little group over on facebook for those of us who have been touched by autism in some way or another. my little group is I ♥ someone on the Autism Spectrum. i felt it was way overdue and although it's still new and needs lots more information, news and resources it's started and it's a work in progress.

i know there are plenty of FB groups on autism spectrum disorders helping and supporting in some form or another.....will mine be any different?...possibly not however my aim is to raise autism awareness in all it's entirety and allow not only those that are impacted by it have a place they can be supported, raise questions etc but a place for the unlearned to be taught.

if you pop by my blog and read this post, click on the link above and join. if you're touched by autism in some way, click on the link above and join....whether you're a parent/carer, family member, professional or just want to learn more about what autism spectrum disorders are then click on the link above and join.

at this point in time seeing as the group is not quite 24 hours old there isn't much just yet....that's the work in progress, however small steps make more of an impact then huge leaps and bounds....something i've learnt as a parent/carer of children with autism.

anyway just a quick post letting you all know about the group and extending an invitation to everyone who wishes to join to join.

take care xoxo

today...

2010-10-06T16:07:00.000+11:00

two years ago today you passed away so unexpectedly. missing you so much dad and wishing you were here with us still. R.I.P... with all my love your loving daughter chris. xoxo

thought i would share with you a photo of my dad in his younger days when he was a nurse way back in the 60's and just a little FYI...he was also a trained midwife.♥♥♥♥♥

photo's...

2010-09-27T22:49:00.000+10:00

yesterday we tasted and smelt spring for the first time since spring officially started here in september. it was such a glorious day that it was time to take hubby and steph and head down to the new chinese gardens here in bendigo. all in the hope to not only feel the warmth of the spring sun on my pale white skin for the first time in what seems like months but also take photo's of all the new sculptures and pieces of this beautiful place. what a day and i loved every moment of it, spending time with hubby and steph (boys didn't want to come and grace wasn't home), taking photo's, enjoying the view and having icecream and cold drinks after it all. sorbet for steph and i and yummy ferero roche icecream for the hub. yum!!!

anyhoo i hope you enjoy the photo's as much as i enjoyed taking them and of course a little fun editing to help with the final process. i love the way they have all turned out and can't wait till the next time i get to go on a little fun photo shoot.

credits: coffee shop urban grit photo action.

credits: coffee shop photo actions vivid 2

credits: coffee shop vintage photo action


credits: coffee shop vintage photo action

credits: paint the moon elegance b&w photo action

ok so that should do it for today i think...enjoy and i would love to hear from you so please leave me a comment. anyhoo take care, hugs chris xoxo

busy times...

2010-09-22T21:17:00.000+10:00

what can i say except it's been busy times and seriously so. now we're on school holidays it hasn't slowed down whatsoever. this was the school holidays, the whole 2 weeks, where i was meant to have no appointments or meetings as i wanted to spend time with tim and the kids. we also wanted to start working on the inside of our home that seriously needs to be repainted etc, however society thought otherwise and didn't think i needed any down time so like i said it's busy times.

the past few weeks have been incredibly topsy turvy and once again tim and i are left picking up the pieces due to decisions and actions that have compromised everything, put plans right back to square 1 and honestly just dumbfounded us as a family with one question....why? and like my daughter grace asks....why us mum....why always us? and i simply have no answer because i ask the same question myself.

when situations like this happen, as adults we deal with it as best we can and we go through the processes as we need to, however when this in itself specifically happens to our children and even more specific...our kids with disabilities, it takes on a whole different meaning, it impacts on our kids like you could never imagine....because they are not able to speak up for themselves, they are not able to make those decisions, they are not always able to ask why or understand the reasons behind it and the parents...yes us ever so important people in our children's world that are also their full time carers, who will go the distance to fight for everything, are the ones left to pick up the pieces, cry for them, become frustrated, get angry, fight even harder for their future that sometimes seem so non existent and realise that so many out there really just.don't.get.it!

it's time for change and now!

till next time hugs and take care xoxo

layout #?

2010-09-11T20:13:00.000+10:00

i lost count a long time ago when it comes to how many layouts i've created either in paper of digi format. i have a few full albums now and more to add to this ever growing (but very important) hobby of mine but it's something that i've continued with pretty much the past 11 or 12 years now. something i've stuck with and absolutely enjoyed for all this time and certainly not something i plan to give up in any hurry. yes i've had to step back from it when times here have been very busy and other priorities take over, however papers and embellishments wait, they don't go to waste and when things settle again for a little i manage to get back into my creative side again.

photo of my girls grace and steph taken last year down in geelong.

credits:

vintage carnival - collab kit - sahlin studio and jenn barrette - scrap matters

so there you have it....scrapbook layout #? enjoy and until next blog update.....take care and hugs, chris xoxo

blessed...

2010-09-06T19:20:00.000+10:00

i am so incredibly blessed because today marks tim and my 24th wedding anniversary, can you believe that? 24 years of marriage and still together and still very much happy and in love. what an incredible achievement in this day and age...what an incredible achievement full stop.

life has thrown so many obstacles at us in those 24 years, we've been polite and heard far too much advice trying very hard not to take it on. particularly advice that we didn't believe in, impacted on our own values and morals and simply tried to bring us crashing down because of people's own 'issues' and somehow through it all we have stayed true to ourselves and each other and overcome.

love is an incredible and amazing blessing and gift...to be loved, to give love, to have love and to share love.....it truly is a gift and one of not only receiving but giving as well. there's a scripture in the bible that says "husbands love your wives as christ loves the church".....what an incredible selfless act don't you think? something not to be taken lightly...ever!

so too my other half...i wish you a very happy 24th wedding anniversary. despite the obstacles, the hurdles, the highs, lows and everything in between, the challenges we have faced as individuals, as a couple and a family you have been my constant, the one that is by my side through it all, the one that stand's up for me, loved me for who i am and...i love you beyond words could ever express.

you are my soul mate, my best friend, the other half that makes the whole, the person that i never want to be apart from and from here to eternity i love you with everything i have and all of my self. xoxoxo

new puppy...

2010-09-04T23:08:00.000+10:00

everyone loves a new puppy right?...well perhaps not a brand new puppy because of her age but a new puppy to us all the same!!! today lance brought his very own dog...a 6 month old bull arab from our local rspca called cora-lee. she's a little full on at the moment simply because of her age and the fact that she is new to us and new to her environment but for her 1st day in her new home with her new family she is settling in really well.

lance is quite eager to start training her fully and although it will take a little work and time...it will be very positive all round. i am very hopeful and know that lance with a little help and loads of patience will be able to transfer all he knows from volunteering and training the dogs up at righteous pups australia into training and working with cora-lee. she really is quite adorable.....

anyhoo just a very quick update tonight and too all those dads out there i am wishing you all a very happy father's day for tomorrow...may you all be totally spoilt.

hugs chris xoxo

priorities...

2010-08-20T20:37:00.001+10:00

we all need days in our life where things are just simply simpler and not as hectic as they always seem to be. we live in a society where there isn't quite enough hours in our day to fit everything in and that no matter how much we try to slow down (if we can that is) we really just add more to our already busy lives.

time to slowdown, pause and stop awhile as we count our blessings and prioritise what really is important in our lives and as a mother of 4 teenage children...3 of them with disabilities, my priorities will be very different to many others.

life has taken on a whole new meaning for me since taking on the role of president for bendigo autism asperger group and for the first time in a very long time i feel like i belong in society again and that i've found a place within the human race once more. i have been so lost for such a long time i honestly didn't think anything could allow me to feel so good again, to feel like i am worth something and to finally have some self esteem and confidence with all that our family have gone through is a miracle in itself. at the end of what seems to be a very long, narrow and incredibly dark tunnel there is definitely light and it's full of hope even if at this time it is only a glimmer...it is positive and it is worth it.

although we still have difficulties and are dealing with some serious issues here i am seeing it all in a different light and tim and i are managing. it all comes down to what's important and what isn't, what's a priority and what we have decided is not because at the end of the day the things that matter, count and anything that doesn't count doesn't matter. anything not a priority simply must not be allowed to have anymore energy wasted on it either physically or very much so mentally.

the things that matter to me....that count.....that become those priorities for me are my beautiful family, my husband tim and our 4 incredibly unique and amazing kids. love is such a strong emotion, it gives meaning and purpose to life, it has no boundaries, it shares no limits and it does not discriminate.

before i finish up tonight i thought i would leave you with another priority of mine.....taking time out to be creative. something i have missed and something i felt was really important to restore because honestly i need a "me" thing and i've been scrapping one way or another for far too many years to give up on it just yet. it allows me to pour all my emotion and thoughts into layout after layout, treasuring every part of those memories, documenting the good with the bad, recording precious moments and cherishing life and loved ones. definitely a worthwhile cause and one that sits on my "priority" list!!!

credits:

urban love collection- birgit kerr - scrapbookgraphics

font - sidewalk

have a great weekend and take care, hugs chris xoxo

friday...

2010-08-14T00:00:00.000+10:00

thank goodness the end of the working week is here and boy has it been busy. so busy that i feel i have barely been home these past few days and i've really missed hubby and the kids. i'm hoping to have a fairly quiet weekend as it's needed and by doing so recharge a little for next week which is going to be pretty full on too. i know things will settle down soon for me, this is just momentary for now as i try to find my feet and settle into being president of BAAG and balance life the best way i can with all the challenges that come our way.

only a quick blog tonight as i'm eager to start another lo and i'm also hoping that on sunday tim and i can spend a little time in town so i can take some photo's...i'm getting pretty desperate and keen to get out there and click away, it's always very inspiring.

almost done...lol but before i go here is a lo i put together last night quite simply and really enjoy the fact that it is just that.....nice and simple!!!

credits:

freebie art photo vol 1 - july designs

kit freebies - july designs

cardboard circle alpha - amber clegg

have a great weekend hugs chris xoxo

beautiful...

2010-08-11T23:05:00.001+10:00

isn't she? yes this is my grandmother who turned 97 on sunday the 8th of august and i love her dearly. she is my inspiration in life and always has been. she has been through things that you cannot possibly imagine and i am so fortunate to have her in my life.

oh and yay look at the lo above.....it's been far too long and i really enjoyed getting back into it all and expressing myself this way. anyhoo that's all folks till next time as i'm off to check out what other photo's i've got and see what's up next for scrappin'

credits:
the sweetest - studio natali - scrapbookgraphics
font - book antiqua

hugs chris xoxo

overhaul...

2010-08-11T00:57:00.000+10:00

yes my blog has had an overhaul.....at long last, finally and i'm loving it. they say change is as good as a holiday and well it was time for a bit of fiddling and plonking to get it all looking somewhat orderly and organised with a touch of digi goodness.

i find it really amazing at the moment that i seem to have a breath of fresh air since becoming president of bendigo autism asperger group and with it i feel not only a sense of well being and belonging but human again. for those of you who keep up to date with my blog and our day to day stuff i think you will fully appreciate and understand where i'm coming from. for a very long time it was simply a matter of surviving from moment to moment, day to day and most of the time pretty darn exhausted both mentally and physically but now i feel like i've managed to take a place in society again, a place in this human race of ours where i am learning to be me all over again......that in itself is very daunting, very overwhelming and quite a challenge when you've been falling deep into a huge bottomless pit unable to do anything about it but continue head first into nothing but emptiness and complete darkness. however for the first time in a very long time i see a glimmer of hope in me....something that has simply not been there for what feels like, seems like and has been forever.

it's not to say that things are really easy here because truthfully they are not but i'm managing and so is tim and that's what counts. there is still no sign of help for isaac within the school for an integration aide that he so desperately needs and yes he still only attends about 8 hours each week because he can't manage any further and i'm ok with that.

steph is in crisis mode with serious issues relating to bullying at school (she being the victim again) and so she is home from school because of that and has been in quite a state on and off since last week. the world can be a terribly cruel place for all of us, but imagine being autistic, dealing with depression and being visually impaired, struggling to fit into a place in society that so terribly taunts and throws curve balls at you constantly.....that has too be so tough.

grace has just had 8 teeth out (yesterday) under a general anesthetic and 4 of them were her impacting wisdom teeth. poor kid is sore, swollen and bruised, can barely talk, eat or drink, will have a few days off due to surgery and has stitches all in her mouth in 8 places....yikes and next is braces which they start to fit on the 17th with spacers (molds already done last week) and then I think the 24th is when she officially gets her braces on. i really feel for her at the moment.

lance....has been sick with the flu and out of action with righteous pups for the past week. and although well now simply didn't get their yesterday as grace and i spent the day up at hospital while she under went day surgery having all those teeth removed. he's missing it but will get right back into it come tomorrow.

me.....i've been flat out attending the 2 day victorian autism conference for 2010 here at the all seasons last thursday and friday. then sat was the monthly BAAG coffee morning, sunday my nana's 97th birthday, monday dealing with grace and surgery and still having to attend BAAG's monthly committee meeting which i chaired. today phone calls and emails and deciding to pretty much bite the bullet and work on my blog and i must say that although pretty tired i'm in good spirits.

i do have to say one thing though and just thank my hubby for being totally wonderful, dealing with all the home stuff while i've been busy and taking care of so much. he really is amazing and i am very blessed to have him and we have been through hell and back and next month we celebrate 24 years of marriage and i love him to bits.

anyhoo this was only meant to be one very quick post.....lol but then the blog itself is titled chris's ramblings!!!
oki doki that's all folks so till next time, stay true to yourself and don't let anyone pull you down....they aren't worth it however you are worth so much more then that!!!

hugs chris xoxo

happy birthday...

2010-08-08T19:32:00.000+10:00

to a beautiful soul my grandmother. nana turned 97 today and yes she is still alive and still very healthy physically. being 97 does come with a few hiccups and for my nan that means dementia and the older she becomes the more the dementia takes over......that just breaks my heart!

anyhoo wishing you the most beautiful day nana. you are my inspiration in life and i love everything about you. thankyou for being a huge part of my life. ♥♥♥

hugs chris xoxo

exhausted...

2010-08-05T21:31:00.000+10:00

but for very good reason. yes it has been incredibly hectic since taking on the president's role for BAAG - bendigo autism asperger group and as much as it has been a little overwhelming here and there it has also been incredibly exciting. there's been barely any sleep the past fews nights, the brain keeps me awake because it doesn't switch it's thought's off at present but i'm managing and i think that says it all.

today and tomorrow i am attending the victorian autism conference here in bendigo at the all seasons out on mcivor road, which is being streamed live throughout the region from melbourne. it's been amazing so far and tomorrow will be just as good. for more information on this please click on the link under the logo's and it will take you straight to the site complete with full programs.

Victorian Autism Conference

it's only a quick update tonight as i'm a little pooped for anything more and my brain hurts a little too much.....lol but i thought i would leave you with one thing i took from today. we're all on the 'human spectrum' yet it takes a very unique and individual person to be on the 'autism spectrum'.

hugs chris xoxo